Below average. Review on Zinda

Most people who write reviews do so immediately after having felt the experience of the matter they are reviewing. I gave myself 48 hours before I decided to make what I wanted of about Zinda.

To start with, Zinda is a remake of Chan-Wook Park's Korean masterpiece ''Oldboy'' which is the second movie in his trilogy of revenge movies. So, take that whole baloney of Sanjay Gupta being an original director and stuff and put it in the garbage because we have an other copy here.

This is the official story of Oldboy... ''An average man is kidnapped and imprisoned in a shabby cell for 15 years without explanation. He then is released, equipped with money, a cellphone and expensive clothes. As he strives to explain his imprisonment and get his revenge, he soon finds out that not only his kidnapper has still plans for him, but that those plans will serve as the even worse finale to 15 years of imprisonment.''

That's the story of Oldboy... that's the story of Zinda. It is a good plot, but Sanjay Gupta screwed it up.

Sanjay Dutt is pathetic. He always tries to be larger than the story and therefore is practically invincible. First, why did Dutt have to be a s/w engineer in the film? S/w wasn't that big in 1991 that it could buy you a seaside house in Bangkok. Also, Shahrukh Khan was practically non-existant in 1991, when Manish's character tells that Dutt could be a better actor than the Khan. Come on, the intelligent viewer can do his/her math. Script writers..whither goes thou??? There were two of you!!!

The entire sequence of Mr. Dutt in the cell is rather contrived and long. He was fed a single course mean twice daily for 14 years, and he didn't loose a single kilo. Puleeez.... this is a 2005 movie! Tom Hanks lost 15+kgs for Castaway and his character had more nutrition and exercise than Dutt's had. Not acceptable, Mr Gupta.

The fight sequence with the hammer is unrealistic. Dutt is fighting Thai's who kick- box like we fart. He beats up people who are armed with knives and bats with a hammer and during the climax of the movie he fights almost the same people with a sword and they have swords at that time. This is like a Max Payne game.

Lara Dutta magically appears as the hindi speaking taxi-driver, who recognises Dutt to be an Indian, whereas the enigmatic Dutt could easily pass off for an Arab. Dutt doesn't think to ask Dutta how she recognised him to be an Indian. Hmmm.... why we make such movies with weak scripts? Dutt-Dutta-Idiotta... I am getting a rhyme. Wheeee!

Ok... next! Why would a person who keeps people in cells for a living not have an in-house cook instead of buying food for years for his wards? It is more expensive and isn't good business. Is the director trying to tell us that Indians are lousy as businessmen?

Manish Manjrekar was loud and boorish and I was happy to see him die.

John Abraham cannot act. However, his character was the most credible.

I can understand that a man can be made into a monster if he is held captive for 14 years for reasons undisclosed. But to be turned into a samurai??? With Director Gupta it is ... 'No problem!!!!' HA HA HA!!!

Finally, not to forget, but we have Celina Jaitley who is also pathetic in her rather cameo role.

Models should not act. This is an atrocity worse than Tsunami because more lives are being effected by the way they behave on screen.

I won't waste too much time on the music. The Strings song is fantastic (as always). I have no clue why Dutt should appear in the video since his voice isn't there and all he does is play an imaginary guitar. Wait a minute, maybe it is because he produced the movie!!!

Anyways, that's all I would like to say without ranting any more.

I am really sad that my brethren are giving strong reviews about this movie. But then, beggars can't be choosers. Too bad Bollywood is making beggars of us when we have to choose between movies.

Overall... give this a miss.