~ WOMEN ON TOP ~. Review on Women Today

The review is not even remotely linked to the periodical in question. It just offered me the perfect excuse to advance my theories on women on top!

We are, in all likelihood, going to have a lady president. Not so much of a surprise, given the way events have unfolded in the recent past. First, the spectacular ascension of a certain Mrs. S. Gandhi to political sainthood. Then Mayabatti(batti= incendiary wick) muzzling the UP powerplayers(Mr. Mu-lagaam Singh Yadav, Mr. A-kneel Ambani, Stammer Singh and Mr. Omit-half Bachchan) in the most humiliating way possible.  Aren’t these enough indications that women in the country are no more willing to take things lying down(never mind the pun). Of course, any suggestion of similarity between the two situations would be far fetched and outrageous; whereas Mayabatti is malice personified, the Presidential nominee is as gentle as a dove in D’Jakarta!

That made me sit back and ruminate on the ostentatious scenario as a whole. Women ARE calling the shots. Having leaped across the boundaries of home, their principal bastion, decisively, the dupatta brigade is now all set to dismantle the last vestiges of what were hitherto considered exclusive male dominion. This is indeed a thrilling development, having women on top, and taking charge!(When was the last time you had a woman on top who took the initiative? Please, I am only considering the formal and legitimate scenarios). Having already accomplished the penetration of the armed forces successfully, the only slots that remained yet unoccupied by the fairer sex were critical positions like the Presidency and the Chief Justice’s Chair. Now, with the Presidency gone, we may soon see a lady CJ swearing at the ceremonies…er…I mean at the swearing in ceremonies.

Which brought me back to my mulling yet again. Who, I asked myself, are the top 5 women in terms of popularity in India today?No, not role models or anything of that sort! Just the popular ones. After much thought, I managed to conjure up a list, and which I shall present before you forthwith. Of course I had to wrestle with my conscience to exclude a few ladies worthy of mention, most notably a few daring damsels from Bollywood, but where in the world does a Top 5 list feature a dozen candidates? So, here I go(not in any particular order)

1. Ms. Mayabatti – This accomplished and articulate politician with shrewd manipulative skills makes her detractors eat humble pie. Having won a popular mandate hands down(down where…you may be tempted to ask, to which I shall scornfully reply – keep on track), her claim to popularity is second to none. And the fables surrounding her are legendary too(that she made a bureaucrat p*ss in his pants!). As a role model, she may influence the behaviours of UP’s girl children, who may hope to sport an acrid tongue and a boyish haircut like her some day.

2. Mrs. Cash-bhar-yaar Bachchan– Earlier known to the world as a certain Ms. Aish-kar-yaar Rai, this waxy damsel with stunning looks and stunned brains ruled the roost in Bollywood. Unarguably the hottest objet d’ desire *until she discovered marital bliss, Mrs. Bachchan Jr. has been *one of the most admired women around. As a role model, she has already influenced a whole generation of hotties to chuck their studies/careers and plunge themselves in dreams unlimited!

3. Ms. So-near Mirza – So near, yet so far. Ms. Mirza’s proficiency in hitting the balls out of her opponents has made her an apple of the nation’s gawky eyes. She is the nearest we have to tennis legends like Billy(JK), Chris(E-L) and Martina(N); and currently she is our only hope who may some day realise our dreams of seeing the Tricolour being unfurled at the Grand Slam Finals. And all those who eye her as the desi Cornykova deserve nothing but the choicest of expletives from me. As a role model, she should influence righteous young women to believe in their dreams and speak their minds.

4. Ms. Khabar Dutt – Ever seen a lady braving it out on the frontiers of battlefield, ducking and dodging a hail of enemy bullets and uploading precious news bytes about the accomplishments of the Indian Army which swelled our chests with pride? That’s Kha-bar Dutt for you, the quintessential newshound, who became a household name during the Kargil war. Never to be messed with, Ms Dutt has forever changed the way journalists used to report action from the site of conflict.

5. Mrs. Smarty Irony– Kkkkyunki Smarty bhi kabhi zinda thi! So what if she had to kick the bucket and bid adieu to the sonorously soporific saas-bahu saga! Mrs. Smarty Irony’s name will be indelibly etched in black ink as the one who inflicted the heaviest casualties on the psyche of the poor saas-bahus addicted to kkkkyunki….Never again shall a bahu move about in the house without being attired in the finest of silks, and neither shall a saas ever speak a full sentence without turning her head six times. Not to speak of the myriad love children who littered the sets and the scores of extra marital affairs which put even the loving memories of Bill’s(Clinton’s) antics to shame.

So here I am with my list of Top 5. Glad that I am done with it. You may agree with the choices, or you may not. In any case, I urge you to speak your mind and illuminate the comments section. Long live the ladies. And may God have them perched even higher.

ShakaroTTi