Lupin looked into Harry's eyes. He smiled, ''I guess, Harry, that means that the only thing you fear is fear itself.''
And it's not for nothing that yours truly is nicknamed Harry Potter. I am quite a heartless fellow. I rarely experience any emotions while watching films, unlike people who shedded tears when Alok Nath died in K3G. (All right, I did shed tears as well, but those were tears of joy ...)
Well, I used to love experiencing emotions and bhavnaein, when I had a major fetish for this girl called Bhavna. Her long, silen tresses, that flirtatious smile and those ... er, I wonder whether MouthShut has censors. Alright, I guess I got a little carried away ...
Er, where were we? Aah, motions ... just imagine, Sanjay Kapoor sitting in the loo for an hour and wagging his finger like the nosey old lady who lives in my neighbourhood, ''Aati nahin ... acting aati nahin ...''
Wait a moment, wait until Harry cleans his glasses. I guess I misread emotions as motions.
Back to emotions, which incidently, are not an online method to defecate. I was describing how emotions rarely conquer me while watching films. I have heard a number of friends describe how they couldn't help shedding tears while watching certain flicks, and how they experienced sleepless nights after watching Bhoot. Why, there was this friend of mine who fainted in fright when his maid told him that the day's work is done.
Saab ... aaj ka kaam khatam ...
And that's where we come to fear. For me, it just doesn't exist! The Exorcist, The Ring, Bhoot et al have been well-made films, but they haven't brought out any extreme reactions in yours truly. Yeah, I say it again! Apart from the odd chilling moment, the aforementioned films haven't been successful in scaring me. I still watch VCDs without believing that they might kill me, thank you very much. Of course, it's a different matter that I ran out of the theatre, screaming like Amarr Upadhyay, ''Nahiiin, bhoooooooot'' when I saw Hrithik Roshan in a red suit with an orange tie (I daresay that had he worn a bow, it would have been shocking pink) in Main Prem Ki Deewani Hoon.
Which is why the extreme hype around RGV's latest production - Vaastu Shastra interested me. Just before entering its press show, I spoke aloud to myself, which according to my friend is the first sign of insanity.
''So Raj, will you get scared this time?
I don't think so, the promos of Bhoot were better.''
The various journalists surrounding yours truly noticed that this young fellow with unruly hair was talking to himself. They made clicking sounds of sympathy, thinking that I am mad. What's more, I probably am.
''But the hype surrounding this flick says that it's much scarier than Bhoot ... I still feel that it might be scary.
Naah. I fear nothing. Mein kisi se nahin darta. Fear is only for the weak-hearted, while I have the power ...''
The last bit was exclaimed by me with my hand in the air. I looked around me. The journalists had scampered off in fear, probably thinking that He-Man's soul possessed me. But then, I do have the power. Visa power, ailaa, go get it!
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Long digressions of a certain nikamma are just like a RGV flick. The first few scenes are rarely on the main theme, and when you least expect it, voila, here we go.
Sourabh Usha Narang directs RGV's latest offering - Vaastu Shastra. Vaastu Shastra is yet another RGV flick which deals with horror. Does it click? Read on ...
Certain similarities with Bhoot are apparent right from the outset. A couple moving into a new house, a kid being the centre of all the drama, the jarring, irritating sudden sounds, even a tree outside the couple's bungalow. Vaastu Shastra does offer you a feeling of deja-vu during the first half hour or so.
Save the irritating noises, the first half has nothing that would have you screaming a la Amarr Upadhyay. In fact, what would probably set you screaming is the fact that this is the 1732nd time that I have referred to Upadhyay's screams, in my reviews. Er, no, 1733rd probably ...
Yet, the fear factor (or its absence rather) apart, the first half is impressive. Impressive and engaging, as a number of questions engulf the viewer's mind. Post interval, things do pick up, you do shudder more often, and you end up believing that Narang has directed a winner. Until.
Recent RGV films have had a major flaw, when it comes to the final 15-20 minutes. It seems as if the maker is in a hurry, or maybe, that he has an amazing tale to narrate, but does not know how to end it - the vague and slipshod climaxes of Bhoot and Darna Mana Hai, being cases in point. Add one more to that list.
Soon after the second death in the film i.e. the first death amongst the family, things go haywire. The director's attempts at scaring the viewer, would evoke giggles, rather than fear. Special effects used towards the end remind you of Aahat, and you find yourself singing ''Yeh hum aa gaye hai kahan ...''
Vaastu Shastra is a chilling ride - the viewer being the one taken for a ride, actually. Throughout the flick, one keeps biting his nails wondering what the reason for all the eerie goings-on could be. You keep wondering and the end credits roll. The film does not offer any explanation for the eerie goings-on, apart from indecipherable shrieks from an insane Rajpal Yadav. Actually, in my opinion, there are two ways to look at it. The supernatural may not require explanation, in my opinion. The director's motive while directing a horror flick, is to scare the viewer and Vaastu Shastra does succeed in doing that. Yet, a majority of the viewers would feel cheated at the end of the flick - 90 minutes of engaging chills being spoilt by a cold climax.
Yet, in spite of this major flaw, the film does have plenty of merits. Apart from the impressive direction, what's commendable is the way the viewer's attention will never waver, inspite of the fact that the story pushes forward. The scenes between the maid and the kid are realistic and well-directed, and so is the scene where Peeya Rai Chaudhary and Purab Kohli are alone in the house, while the others have gone to watch a flick. The last scene of the film leaves plenty to imagination, as well, as the director teases the viewer's psyche again with an open ending, as we wonder whether we had misunderstood a certain portion in the climax.
The acting performances are the highlight of the film.
Sushmita Sen is brilliant. Radically different from the Aphrodite of Main Hoon Na, Sen portrays a gamut of emotions - love, anger, irritation, anxiety and fear, with elan.
And so is Chakravorty. Again radically different from his famous portrayal of Satya, his performance is aptly subtle.
Peeya Rai Chaudhary made me forget about all the spooky elements in the film. Who needs the devil when you have a goddess? Effervescent and vivacious, she plays her part well.
Ehsaas is phenomenal. It's incredible how a kid can display such fantastic acting skills at the tender age of 4. Most kids in Hindi movies tend to overact and end up being irritating, but this kid virtually carries the whole film on his own shoulders.
Purab Kohli and Rajpal Yadav make fleeting appearances. While Kohli is still in the VJ-mood, grinning throughout his minute screen time, Rajpal Yadav churns out a crazy portrayal of a crazy fellow.
It's difficult to say whether one recommends this flick. Eventually though, the brilliant performances and engaging moments until the climax outweigh the negative aspects of the movie. Worth a dekko, if you do not expect the sky.
Rating: **1/2
