Silly, Ugly and Nakli. Review on U Me aur Hum

A self-indulgent person is one who can experience pleasure even amidst miseries. If you live life like a hedonist then nothing can make you feel miserable, you will find your pleasure somehow.

And after going through an ordeal called U, Me Aur Hum, I am now a staunch advocate of fact that life should always been seen as a pleasure-seeking pursuit. If you twisty folks reading this believe in the crap which I just uttered, go ahead and buy the tickets for it as I am sure you can recover from it without much effort. Others stay away. This can reduce you to rubble.

I was so not going to write on this. When I started on MS, I was writing just on Bollywood(my first 20 we

U Me aur Hum

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re just those new releases). Slowly I spread and wrote on few books, couple of advices, few Hollywood flicks. TZP was my last from Bollywood this year nothing impressed or depressed me enough to spend my oomph on. And suddenly I found this piece of sh!t which was getting if not rave, decent reviews from all quarters.

I am not going to ponder much on story and music as that had been discussed to death. Here I go give you rationale behind the title.

Silly

How could I let this happen? No, I am not questioning the sensibilities of all who are calling it a fantabulous take on relationships and a new meaning given to the ever alluring word Love from a newbie director a certain Ajay Devgan. What I mean here is how can you possibly pay no heed to what you saw? How can you be so ignorant to everything that was on platter and even come closer of comparing it to TZP making Ajay stand on the same platform as Aamir just because our bad-teeth-actor-turned-director unfastened another terrible lesser known ailment which goes by the name Alzheimer’s disease. Why? You forgot Black or what? Amitabh was supposedly suffering from the same, so do not give me sh!t that this was never conveyed on celluloid before. Silly isn’t it?

Movie starts with Ajay and his teenage son trying to patao-fy their respective chosen ones on a cruise. He starts narrating 25 years old story to Kajol who we later get to know is his own wife who is suffering from that disease which I spoke of above. Oh, come on why did you spend so much energy telling her the story if only she is going to forget it eventually. Silly, isn’t it? Ok, now some of you might say it wasn’t silly as It was their 25th anniversary and as promised by Ajay “silver”to be celebrated on cruise(where they had met first time pachhees saal pehle), she deserved to know who she was and why she was there. Agree, but then did not she fool all by telling she had not forgotten that day. Girl, now why did you spend so much energy listening to your own story if you had not forgotten that day? Silly, isn’t it? Now again some of you might say then how would story unfold? I would ask, was that the only way? I would say work on your script and a bit of editing. I heard you guys were four writers in total who worked on the script. Wow, you guys rock. In fact now I know what went wrong. They say na too many cooks spoil the food.

Ugly

I wanted to fall off from the chair every time I saw that(without any doubt) ugly couple’s close up in almost all frame. Yes, I am talking of the lead. They both are fantastic actors and equally ugly. I still wonder why Ajay was ever insecure of Kajol’s bonding with SRK. Okay, that’s different story to be discussed later. Coming to it, yes both were shot in close-ups throughout. It gets on to your nerve seeing their faces covering 3/4th of the screen and when they speak it seems as if they are spitting on each other while the spit by some invisible force is hitting your face. Kajol as a waitress on the cruise looks fat and totally unkempt and girl your eyebrow-raised-sheepish-smile isn’t cute anymore. Period. Till now I and many more like me always found Kajol and Tabu the best actors of present genre amongst girls. Now, after this Tabu can alone take the coveted trophy. Kajol as married and suffering from Alzheimer woman is totally misfit and doesn’t win any sympathy. We have made her pigheaded by constantly calling her the natural and effortless actor. She definitely needs to put in much more effort especially after her last two saw her in saddest ever(Fanaabeing other). Blind, Alzheimer, what next girl? Be normal. We love you that way.

Now continuing the ugly part of it, there were four trying-hard-to-be-human friends of Ajay who were equally ugly in their own way. Now ugly doesn’t necessarily should relate to the physical attribute. They were loud, on each other’s neck all the time, screaming at the top of their lungs and if not that then talking of divorce. Now, how could Ajay possibly be happy with his wife if he has got friends talking divorce all the time? No wonder, he went and dumped his wifey dear in some asylum.

Nakli

Move over Bhatts, Malik and Pritam. We have new thief in town. By now, most of you would be aware that this is not some creative piece. Whats with a straight rip off from The Notebook.This is another shameful steal which makers are unashamedly hiding. Do they have brains or not? How can they possibly hide such things? Moreover, if you are stealing, stick to the original’s script at least. The Notebook wasn’t a stuff Oscars are made of, but that was genuine in its feel at any rate. Here, what you get to feel is crude SMS jokes gelled with silly and stupid trial of rhyming unneeded lines. What you get to hear is the incoherent lines from Ajay teaching us self defense mechanism. By god, of all characters YOU. Hilarious it was sonny boy.

UMAH is a sad piece of cinema. Ajay is a pathetic as director. Kajol and her screeches. Uff, too much. Cinemtographer needs to be punished for those milk-white settings. Lyricist, and Dialogue writers should be thrown out of country rightaway. However, Musician Vishal can be given another chance as he isn’t bad. His stars were not placed probably when he was working on it.