How to be a good programmer (sarcasm alert). Review on Tips on Programming

While(1)

{

buy_comp_programming_book();

study();

implement();

}

Apart from the obvious readability of my code, can you understand what I have written? No, you cannot my friend. That is because you don't know how to program a computer. Once you have learnt to do that, you can read this review, understand it, and then, only then, learn, how to program a computer.

Speaking of recursions, I have a friend, who has a friend, (who isnt, incidently, my friend - and anyway, that would be transitivity, not recursion dumkopf!) who is obsessed with the Towers of Hanoi problem, and has even programmed an operating system which basically boots up, solves the TOH problem, and then shuts down. Now thats what I call spending your time constructively.

(there, did you see that? tower - construct . but we're trying to program, not pun)

I am not going to explain what the TOH problem is, of course. So readers who think'who is this Hanoi, why does he have a tower, and/or a problem' are encouraged to go to google and type'Towers of Hanoi problem' and sift their way through recursive masses of data.(and the back-forward functions of your browser could become extremely confused if you encounter recursive webpages)

For that matter you could go to google and type'how to be a good programmer' but I would recommend you not do that. Not all programming instruction is as friendly and unobfuscated as this review.

Speaking of obfuscated, obfuscated code is a way of programming that will make your code UNREADABLE, but functioning.(and we're talking way way way beyond not indenting)

It has no practical application, but then, neither does writing these kind of reviews, but I write them anyway. And you read them anyway.(This is optimism speaking here)

Incidently, I am no expert at writing obfuscated code, but you can find some excellent examples on the net.

The definitive obfuscated code example is a piece of code which looks like gibberish but prints out a map of India, using exclamation marks. And we cannot forget the one which prints out a Christmas poem, calling main() recursively!

And speaking of recursion. I have a friend. well, you get the idea.

By the end of this review, you may not know anything about programming, but you certainly can sound like you do.

Anyway, I believe in a philosophy which says'you can only learn that which you already know'. I would recommend you believe in that too. It makes issues such as'non comprehension of programming' and'inability to write a mouthshut profile' much easier to handle.

Oh, by the way, if you want to learn programming, get a good book, study it, and implement the programs in the book.

Awaiting comments(and brickbats)