My 10 & 1/2 “Review” - Catty Comments. Review on Tips on MouthShut M2M Service

WARNING: PLEASE DON'T READ THIS'REVIEW' IF YOU ARE ALLERGIC TO CATS!

Hi Y’all

I just read a “review” in which a lovely member SHARED HER INBOX, and I was soooooooooooooooo gosh dang darn inspired by this interesting “review” that I also decided to share my inbox with the most gracious and patient readers of MS.  Some of you who read that brilliant review may have found it useless, and I assure you with every single drop of honesty from every teeny tiny cell in my body that this review will also prove to be utterly USELESS, so please bear with it kind readers.

Over the past year, I have received so many M2Ms praising me sky-high on my exotic, scintillating, almost animalistic beauty which has brought sheer joy and pleasure to my otherwise uneventful dreary days.  Without further prowling, now I will open heartedly share my most flattering M2Ms with the benevolent readers of MS.

M2M received on October 20, 2004:  Your pic is so beauuuuutttttttiful.  You are simply the cat’s meow.  I see your orangey fur, pink nose, small pointed ears, and I wanna be your friend.  I wanna keep looking at you, and feed you a gold fish.

My comment:  Ha ha – How fishy! You are barking up the wrong tree buddy.  This kitty will not be impressed by just any dog on the block.  Meowwwwwwwwwwwwww

M2M received on November 1, 2004: Your pic is the most gorgeous pic I have ever seen.  I am a photographer working for National Geographic and I can catapult you to fame by making you Ms. Universe of kitty kat world, and through this publicity, you can enter bollywood and even give Katrina Kaif a run for her money; and make the pigeon from Maine Pyaar Kiya, and the parrot from Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoo run for their lives.

My comment: Whatever dude uhhhhm like uhhhhmmm you know like I am way too drop-dead beautiful for everyone in Bollywood.  I am not interested in becoming a bollywood star, because all the bollywood hotties will be over-shadowed by my catchy beauty on and off screen.  Meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

M2M received on January 18, 2005:  Hey kitty kitty kitty, you are so cute kitty.  I find so much joy when I come on your profile and gaze at your heavenly pic, that I start to purr uncontrollably.  Please reply my M2Ms or else I will keep purrrrrrsuing you until the cat is out of the bag.

My comment:(In haughty disdain) Hey stalker – Get a Life! This kitty is too good for the likes of any mere mortal.  And FYI, only my future super husband Garfield can call me kitty kitty kitty.  So, Get Lost! Meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

M2M received on February 14, 2005:  OOOOOOOhhhhhhhhh kitty I love You so much.  When I see your picture on your profile, I start to drool like a rabid dog on my keyboard.  On this Valentine’s Day, please be mine.  Also, please don’t mind me saying this but I think you are truly very beautiful.  Did you know that?

My comment:  Ewwwwwwwwwwwww gross yuck! Stay away from my profile you loser!  Oh really, ha ha, am I reallllly beautiful(rolling eyes sarcastically), as if I have never ever been told that before.  Meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

M2M received on November 15, 2005: Hello kitty.  I have heard that cats have 9 lives.  Can you please just give me one life with you?  Only one life with you, and I know I will attain Nirvana through your breathtaking beauty.  By the way, are all kitties such real beauties as you in kitty land?

My comment: Oh great another Romeo! How entertaining! Listen, even If I was immortal, I would not wanna spend even a millionth of a second with you, let alone a whole lifetime, you freak! If you ever come to kitty land, you will be scratched alive, so PAWS OFF MY PROFILE! Meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

M2M received on November 18, 2005: Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy kitty, I got a joke for you: What is a cat’s favorite condiment?   Answer: CATSUP.

Get it?  Ha ha ha

My comment: What in the name of flying caterpillars is that? Is that a joke? Look, I know you are just trying to flirt with me in the disguise of sending me poor jokes.  Just admit it! I am super duper Gorgeous, and you can’t resist from sending me M2Ms to catch my attention.  Meowwwwwwwwwww

Advice on M2Ms: If you are a total arrogant silly billy and you don’t get enough attention in your life, then you just need to upload a hot pic of yours or someone else’s to get a lot of flattering attention from many on MS, which you probably would not get otherwise.  Once you get attention, then you flirt back with the people who are clawing for your attention, or you can get your daily dose of pathetic kicks by making fun of these M2Ms.

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So sweet readers, please forgive me if this “review” has been incredibly, totally, unbelievably, grossly useless to you.  It is just that I am so astonishingly beauuuuuuutiful, that I am sure you will forgive me for this, and if you don’t, then I am willing to lay down one of my lives.

FINAL NOTE: The M2Ms are OBVIOUSLY not real.

Meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww