Exactly an year will be gone tomorrow as I joined mouthshut on May 20, 2004. That is the only reason why I have chosen a different type of topic on which I don't usually set my mind upon! Thanks to all of you for your love and support. Well, lets drop into the topic before some one shows some anger on me.
I believe that getting angry is the worst way to show your displeasure towards someone. I have always tried to take everything lightly and consider that nothing wrong has happened. But still I had got angry on lots of occasions which I think that I should have avoided. There are numerous ways in which one can show his frustration and anger and there are lots of things that can turn on the angry monster inside a human being!
Being angry is not a crime. It is quite usual and human to get angry. But it will be better to have a control over your anger so that you stay in your own control. If you go beyond a limit, it is not us who control ourselves it is the one who made us angry. If a person can make us act violent, we are not the owners of our own body and mind.
My last three temporary, low level, stupidic anger problems
The anger usually starts at low levels.
3) It was the end of my exams. I was in a very happy mood and had been sitting under the lights for almost two hours, but none of those idiots came down to play Badminton. It was then when I saw a girl standing on the balcony of the 12th floor of the flat. She has just came a long way from North India, two weeks ago and is supposed to be a co-pilot in Indian Airlines. She had shown some interest in playing for some days as she was in my team for some days(even if she manage to get the shuttle on her bat with lots of difficulty).
The lift just wasn't coming down. So I started my regular style of'action' calling her down with the usual hand gestures, but she didn't even seem to be anywhere close to understanding it before she went back to her room. I felt really angry about that, but later I thought from the more confusing angle - does that gestures have any other meaning in her language? Or was she in a dream world? Or was it really her or not? These thoughts made me slowly disappear from there.
2) Our most important anger problem is the'Cricketing shots' problem. Even if we place some one as an umpire on most of the matches, the controversy never ends. No balls, wides, not outs - all create problems, the major one being who will take the ball that was hit into a balcony? Another one is who will pay for the broken windows? The next is who should buy the next ball?
We should have just taken turns - but the next question would be where to start with? It is upto us to stop arguing and make way for a good idea. Getting angry with each other is not going to do any good, espcially for the silly maters like this one - I wonder what they will do for bigger problems!
1) My friend asked me to come and meet him at five in the evening. When I went to his flat, he had already gone down by lift when I chose stairs. I kept on knocking his door and he kept calling me from the ground. Neither did he realise that I was infront of his flat and neither did I know that he was calling me from under my flat.
When we met again, there was an action thriller in store, but it was avoided as I heard him calling and came down and gladly for me, he saw me coming from his flat!
The above ones had been the minute reason for anger. The bigger ones, I believe are still to happen. As long as the life is set straight as a National Highway, your highest anger level may be still to come! Be prepared for then!
The innovations
My earliest innovations were to put my frustration into the sports while playing cricket and badminton. But that didn't work according to the plans as I finished up bowling too much wides and hitting'sixes' in badminton. There may another fight with the umpire saying that the batsman is out or not out. There are not many things that you can do perfectly when your mind is not free.
When you are talking about something seriously and the others think that it is crap or not interesting, I think it can be a major reason for anger. There may be some clowns who want to make you angry intentionally - don't care about the bafoons! The best thing to do would be to keep shut up instead of showing your anger in words.
It is said that'You are the masters of the unsaid words and slaves of the words we just said'. Also don't start any action leading to a possible'diving' into the hospital. The life better not be a usual action thriller. So don't make any action movie practical or it may lead to a tragic one.
Continued
It is better to leave the scene and listen to some nice smooth music to settle your heart or settle yourselves in some lonely place, may better be a place with some scenic beauty, I usually go to the banks of the river Periyar, on the other side of the town on my bike. The nature can be a good friend when you are in a bad state of mind.
If you are a bit more aggressive and cannot adjust with the nature, it will be good for nature that you don't disturb her and start taking out your frustration on a pillow - if you are a WWE fan, try some wrestling moves on it - like chokeslam, tombstone and the usual style of choking, punching, kicking, all can do the job, but only after making sure that no harm is done.
The tenses
If you get angry at times, it is almost sure that you will regret it later. It can often land you in big troubles. It can even lead to bad health, including head ache along with some stress, tension and depression. The real fact is that what they did to you is only the past. What we must be really thinking is what is the current situation - what should I do now?
Well, it is not the past or the future that must make us think - it's all about the present. So the first step is to stop thinking that I have to take revenge on him for what he did last day, week, month or year. The life is not all about payback. If words can't hurt you, then you needn't be bothered about what the others say.
What to avoid
I used to be a very angry and easily annoyed person for sometime, and now as I have been able to neglect the unnecessary things in my life, it has been easier for me. If you have the'hobby' of getting angry, there will be no occasion that you are not angry. If you still can't control control yourselves, go and scream - but in a lonely place, don't disturb the others and make them angry too.
Changing ourselves is going to be very difficult, but through some good practice, gradually the hidden roots of anger that lies deep beneath the heart can be uprooted, not completely, but upto an extent. You can also try talking with some one who can advice or calm you down - your close friends(not the ones you ar having a fight), your parents, brother or sister - anyone whom you value very much.
Another refuge can be the almighty God himself. Prayers can get you going. The direct conversation with the one whom you believe, the only one whom you can trust, is a great option that you always have. The faith that He won't abandon you will always help you in your quest of controlling yourselves.
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