In fact, I still don?t know when I entered into the phase of being called a short-tempered woman.
The school days for everyone are somewhat very taut with so much of burdens of the weekly school tests, quarterly, half-yearly &(finally) the Board exams etc. We really start breathing a carefree & fresh air only after we step into our college-life. I think many of you would agree with my opinion in this regard. But to my surprise, if I think back, I am sure that the laughing for nothing, carefree, cheery, irresponsible(?) personality in me had disappeared with my college days even without my knowledge. Especially, like the many other women, I?ve been into the most stressful atmosphere right from the day-one of stepping into my job.
Of course, women do have too many responsibilities like the households, caring the spouse, inlaws, kids as well as the most stressful & nerve-racking office environments, which obviously puts them in the most demanding & traumatic times. But unless every woman realizes that ANGER could only result in blunders & enmity, she could never realize the REAL HER. There was an opportunity for me too, to realize how harsh I was with my dealing with colleagues & friends and getting angry with the silliest issues. But I had wonderful & patient friends to make me realize myself. But for their proper guidance, I would have become worst.
WHAT?S ANGER & EXPRESSING ANGER?
Anger is'an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage, ' according to Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.
Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person(Such as a coworker or supervisor) or event(a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.
The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.
On the other hand, we can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.
People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive?not aggressive?manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.
Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn't allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward?on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.
Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior(getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many successful relationships.
Finally, you can calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.
As Dr. Spielberger notes, 'when none of these three techniques work, that's when someone?or something?is going to get hurt.'
Okay, as a Honourable member of Mouthshut.com, I would strongly recommend the following course of action. These are just some simple steps you can try:
Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your'gut.'
Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as'relax, ''take it easy.' Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.
Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.
Nonstrenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.
Dear members, practise these techniques daily. Learn to use them automatically when you're in a tense situation.
Finally, if you are totally unable to control your temper, please do indulge yourself in a loud laughter therapy just like the film?Vasoolraja MBBS?.
Hope this had helped a little?. Do give me ur feedbacks?(after trying this out)
