This part of the review is sponsored by a conglomerate of banks that issue ATM, debit and credit cards:
This is the set of advice that will go with the functioning of a typical ATM card:
• Make sure that you get a certain amount of privacy while making a transaction from an ATM.
• Slide your card the right way, or the way that is indicated on the ATM machine. Some banks have different types of ATM machines at different locations so you have to be careful. You need to insert your card in some machines while on others you may just need to swipe it once or twice, as the case may be.
• Select your language, key in the PIN (Personal Identification Number, or whatever number that the bank may like to refer to it as), chose your account type, key in the amount of cash you want to withdraw, take the cash, hit the End or Cancel or No button, take your card and off you go!
• Don’t forget to take the transaction slip with each transaction you make from an ATM card.
This is the set of precautions that you need to take while maintaining your ATM card:
• Never reveal your ATM card PIN number to anyone. It is your own personal property.
• Once in a while change your ATM PIN code to maintain its secrecy.
• Never write the PIN number anywhere. Try to memorize it rather than worrying about it getting stolen.
• Keep your ATM card away from magnetic fields and moisture to ensure that it lasts its entire term of 3 or 4 or whatever number of years it has been issued to you.
Got any more advice? Hit the comments section and add it yourself!
This part of the review is sponsored by a whacky and humorous anuj_bhatnagar22 who wants to carry on in the psyxx way.
ATM Card reloaded
The following are the experiences of different customers with their respective ATM cards:
The KBC Experience:
When you enter your ATM card in it:
ATM: aapke paas 2 option hain – Hindi or English.
User: English
ATM: Sahi jawaab. Apka PIN kya hai? Aapke paas koi option nahi hai. Sahi jawaab aapke account ko open kar dega aur galat jawaab par aako apni life line use karni hogi.
User: xxxx (keys in the PIN)
ATM: Sahi jawaab. Apke paas 4 options hai: Account summary, Change PIN, Cash Withdrawal, Balance Enquiry. Aap kya option use karma chahte hain?
User: Cash Withdrawal
ATM: Aap kitna cash withdraw karma chahte hain?
User: 10000
ATM: Confident?
User: Confident.
ATM: Lock karne layak hai?
User: Lock karne layak hai.
ATM: Computerji, Rs. 10000 par tala lagaya jay aur User ko paisa diya jai.
(Whirling sound)
ATM: Sahi Jawaab, ab aap yahan se kam se kam 10000 lekar hi jayenge.
Kahaani KeKta Kapoor Ke KTM Kkard Ki:
When Prerna (Or Tulsi, Parvati, Pallavi or whichever woman of K serials) decides to go to the ATM, she dresses up in a red-yellow shining sari, bedazzling her admirer (read her numerous husbands!) with her jewellery. She reaches the ATM machine and in slow motion, puts on the brakes of her SKoda. The kar skreeches to a halt in slow motion. Prerna opens the door 3 times for the added effekt and gets out of her kar.
She slams the door 3 times but forgets to lokk it. She knows that no gunda-mawali will steal her Skoda parked near the ATM machine of Kangal Bank of India. She walks to the ATM in slow motion as the musik plays in the background. She realizes that she left her ATM kard in her kar. She runs in slow motion (yet again). She struggles to unlock her kar that she had originally not locked. She finally opens the door, fiddles thru some papers in the kar, finds her kard, says a silent prayer and kloses the kar once again. Kommercial break!
Break ke us paar… Prerna is walking in slow motion towards the ATM machine, her jewellery glinting in the morning sunshine, her sari waving in the windy winds. She enters the ATM chamber. She finds it empty. She still looks around, with the korner of her eyes and blinking at the same time in slow motion. Suddenly, tragedy strikes. Mr. Bajaj (why not Khaitan?) is walking out hand in hand with his sekretary. Prerna is aghast. Kamera zooms in on her from all angles, including the ATM sekurity kamera.
She rekovers in time to get to work. She enters her kard in the Automatik Teller Machine. She makes her transaktion, Lekin yeh kya? She kant take her kard back. The skreen of the ATM shows ‘You are dead’. Prerna is left speechless, motionless and the kamera freezes on her wide open eyes to mark the end of the K series of ATM reviews.
Dada goes to the ATM
It is a typical evening in Kolkata. People are walking around at Esplanade when a swanky new Mercedes stops in front of GCGCG Bank. A pair of eyes peeps out of the rear window. The man is eager to get in the ATM chamber. He opens the door himself. Lo and behold! It is none other than the Prince himself. The Prince is wearing Ray-Ban sunglasses, a blue Adidas T-shirt, Killer jeans and Reebok sport shoes. As he starts walking towards the ATM, he is mobbed. He hears someone say Greg Chappell Hai Hai. He looks around, smiles, waves and enters the ATM chamber.
He inserts his ATM card in the slot. He chooses Bangla as his preferred language. He enters his ATM code. The ATM machine makes a strange noise. The Prince is unperturbed. Suddenly a red light starts blinking. The Prince sees it but knows it as no sign of alarm. He enters the amount and presses the Enter key. The ATM chamber starts shaking. The Prince is scared. He knows he is in trouble. He tries to grab his ATM card. The card is stuck inside the machine. The Prince tries the door but the door is self-locked. The prince doesn’t know what to do when he hears a voice in an Australian accent, You are fired!
Suddenly, all the shaking stops. The ATM machine dispenses the money he requested. He gets his ATM card back. Visibly shaken, he returns to his car, perspiring heavily as the mob looks on. He gets into his car, mumbles an order to his chauffeur in Bangla. But the chauffeur cannot understand Bangla. He is a balding man from Australia who says, I don’t wanna see you anywhere near the dressing room. The Prince runs out of the car, only to realize that it is just a bad dream!
Have some more cool ideas? Hit the comments section. It is all yours!
