Jul 02, 2007 07:04 PM
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"Is there God in everything?" asked my 4 year old daughter. "Y .e .s." said I, taking as much time as I can to say that monosyllable. In between I let my mind race and think of all the possible questions that might follow. I should be able to answer to her satisfaction. For her I am an idol; a hero and I do not want to fall.
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This is the way we go to school on a cold and frosty morning - Let me share a conversation that happens almost every morning at my place:
Daughter - "No! I will not brush teeth right now."
Me (temper rising) - "You have to. What do you mean you will not brush right now?!?"
Daughter - "I want to sleep more"
Me(almost shouting)- "No at this rate you will miss your school bus. Then who will drop you to school? I will go to office. Then you will have to stay alone at home. Are you ready?" - Really what a blackmail, what a game. So pathetic - but tell me what would you do?
Daughter - sob . sob . sob and then shouting - "You are a BAD BOY!"
This is what I like about kids. There are no hidden meanings and no long term anger. There are many points hidden in the conversation above. Here they are:
1) Are you sleeping, are you sleeping brother John? - This one is about lack of sleep. Well this is mainly because I sleep late. Hence it is very natural that my daughter also sleeps late. Need to get your act on track before venting it out on that poor lil soul.
2) The object of my affection - Since nothing else was working, what I did next was to wake her up and then immediately divert her mind to something she loves. I told her - "Do you want to see a rainbow?" and she was wide awake immediately.
When rainbow trick became stale, I tried - "A beautiful butterfly has come to visit you. Want to see her?" All these worked perfectly. Each time when the subject in question could not be located, I would explain saying that butterfly or rainbow are hiding because they only speak with kids who brush their teeth! By the time she brushes her teeth she would have forgotten about beautiful butterfly or rainbow. Again I know I am a liar, a wretched fellow - but this trick works well so I am sticking to it.
3) Boys will be boys - bad boys, bad boys - Next one is about her calling me a BAD BOY! Kids learn a lot by just watching or hearing us. Once in a while when she does not listen to me, I ask her "Are you a bad girl?". I know that is bad. But what you give is what you get returned! So correct yourself first.
Hot cross buns. If you have no daughters, give them to your sons - It is important to give something to eat immediately after your child is done with brushing the teeth. It can make a big difference to their tempers.
The Milky Way - A few days back while I was driving her to school, she asked me - "When you were a kid, why did you drink milk?". She sounded annoyed so I probed further. It so turned out that we have always been telling her - "If you don't drink milk you will not grow up." She found it very natural to correlate things and make out that I must have drunk milk in my childhood and which is why I have grown up! Her next comment was an absolute stunner. "If you would not have drunk milk, you would have been a kid too and could have come to my class with me."
Children in front seat cause accidents;-) - For safety reasons I always make her sit on the back seat of the car. She is always annoyed about it. So one day she said - "When I grow up, then you will become a kid. And I will make you sit at the back while I drive the car".
I narrate both these incidents to make an important point - that children are way too intelligent and have exceptional logic to correlate things. It is important for us to keep fanning that enthusiasm. Yes sometimes we are'too busy' ot'too tired' or just get'too impatient' with their queries; it is still important to make them ask questions. Never ever kill their curiosity by scolding them.
Spare the rod and spoil the child - When it comes to scolding them it is important to make them understand their mistakes. It is very wrong to bring in school teacher in everything. What I mean is do not tell your kids that - "if you do not listen to me, I will tell your teacher" or "When you teacher finds this out she will scold you or call you bad boy/ girl". This makes them scared of teachers. How can kids love someone they are scared of? This will make them reluctant about going to school.
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So what happened to the question she raised earlier about God?
"If there is God in everything, then is there God inside God also?" - Now I was not at all prepared for this one. No matter how much you prepare yourself, you will be taken by surprise. Not knowing what to say and not sure where this was headed, I decided to cut the conversation out. My pet dialogue would have been - "Have you completed your homework?". But I decided to let her continue. As I said you need to fan their curiosity and not cut it short. "Well yes" I said.
After a pause she went - "So how many such Gods are there inside each other?"
I laughed and marveled at kid's thought process and gave up any false notions I ever had about my intelligence.
So humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Yes a hero can fall too - it is a part of hero's growing up process. Isn't it?
