NO WE STILL DONT UNDERSTAND. Review on Tere Naam

This one was supposed to be Salman Khan come back. After all Hrithik just had a comeback did he not? Salman had a challenging if not as challenging a role as Hrithik and guess what happens: While all that glitters may not be gold but one thing is for sure, all that does not glitter is surely not gold atall. This movie takes ages to come on track and goes in so many subplots that you could be excused if you think that love story itself is quite an incidental plot here.

The movie packs in as many stereotypes as you can. The girl, oh the innocent one, the sweet one so how do we make her look cho chweet. Simple make her Priests daughter. Wow! And the mandir is the usual filmi mandir as well. Mahima does what she has been doing all along, sing a song and be of no use to the plot. And then we have the story where the protagonists are all so good, it is just the circumstances which wrong them. Sob sob! So you all thought Salman would drive himself crazy because he got possessive about the girl or something to that effect. Think again, here we have our super hero who goes to save the nari's of the world in big bad world and there are obviously some people who would not like him to do it. And so they go and bang Mr. Nari Kalyan Manch and what do we have? An insane Salman Khan, who then goes about doing the usual Bollywood things, do I need to tell you what happens to goondaas and the girl? The climax tries to infuse some life into the totally cliched happenings but it is all too late and too little.

The movie suffers from length, while the love story takes zero time to rock, the shenangianas that follow take ages to unfold and scenes dont seem to end at all. Th girl is introduced and the total zero IQ she has, she falls in love with Salman who is a gali ka gunda really (after the usual blabbering and misunderstandings) and is surrounded by stupid friends and fellow college mates. He gets himself a strange stinky get up wearing heavy leather. I know it sounds stupid but it looked very uneasy and smelt awful (:rolleyes I must be under some sort of attack here). Further, the goonda (is he or is he not? humn go ahead find out) has already fallen in love as well and it is all happy to see them sing and dance (in dreams ofcourse). Actually it is not happy, they both dance awfully and Salman in particular looks so rigid and almost a robot while dancing and those long hairs duh! And so after all the dancing and singing in dreams, you thought they would just say I Love You and finish the film then and there. Sorry! No such mercies here. Right then there the nari udhhar campaign starts and then all goes down the drain. The obsession is just too unreal and the sequences half baked and some absolutely ridiculous.

Salman Khan delivers a shocking performance. He just sleep walks through the role as if he wants the film to be completed quick. New girl Bhumika comes with a very unusual screen name Nirjara or whatever it is and she looks innocent. And thats it. Nothing more needed and delivered. Mahima - now why she signs these films, I will never know. Then we have some others who really dont matter since the worse fears have come true.

Editing, camera work, choreography, screenplay all are hopeless and in these times of slickness in everything contribute a jarring note. Music is ordinary and I dont know what is the fuss about the whole thing. Direction - in some rare light scenes the film lights up but mostly it is always too loud with louder background score and I dont know how to describe it makes you feel uneasy.

And one more thing heroine is a college fresher and Mahima well she dances in College fest - so it does not seem we are ready to give up our fascination for overaged actors making perfect fools of themselves. Dont even ask what was Salman Khan in the movie :duh!

So is this the Salman Side Story? Even if it was it certainly did not strike any chord and was obviously not communicating with the audience at all. So it does not matter since we still dont understand.

All in all a movie which you can skip easily and not repent later. I dont care what box office says but I did not like this movie. It was too long and too bad for my tastes.