My list:
JAANI DUSHMAN
Without doubt, this is the best film Bollywood has ever produced. Such a galaxy of stars...Sunny Deol, Sunil Shetty, Akshay Kumar, Sharad Kapoor, Raj Babbar, and a certain Mr.Armaan Kohli. By the way, he has the lead role. Then there is the bulky and sulky, shaky and snaky, Ms Koiralawho has a very challenging role, ranging from a dancing nagin to a college going kid to a rape victim to an atrupta aatma to...oh forget it! But the real reason I like this film is because of the creatively conceived scenes.
Just imagine, Armaan is running on the road, following a bike(hey, don't laugh... what is wrong in running after a bike?), and suddenly the air around him dissolves to become a bike under his posterior. What creativity! For people who wonder about that thing in the movie which keeps on irritating the viewers by its feminine activities- it is called Sonu Nigam.
A lot of effort has gone in the selection of crew for the film, which has resulted in a massive crew of 4 in-demand music directors, two top lyricists, two top cinematographers and two top choreographers. Though none of them do anything spectacular, still the sheer concept can spin your head and jitter your nerves. One is also in awe of the stars.
The sheer drive for getting a degree is seen when men like Akshay and Sunil are shown as collegians. The never-say-die attitude. ''Kitne bhi saal lag jaaye...hum degree leke rahenge.'' Such grit! Such determination. Truly, a real encourager for exam failures. And last but not the least, my favourite Sunny Paaji. His fight with the Super-snake Kohli is something out of this world. With a heavy background score(and a squeaky voice of Sonu giving the interludes), Sunny Paaji beats the slithering daylights out of the naag. Then the snake-man does cheating, and allows his lover, who was in love with Sunny in college, but now is in her aatma-avataar...(get the link? Er...) to enter his body.
So now, my Sunny paaji has to fight with both- the super snakeman and the aatma-cum-nagin. But no worry! Mr.Babbar decides to call on his superpowers and makes a super-weapon by uniting the super-pendants of the Hindu, Muslim and Christian Super-Gods. That is what I call national integrity! Then he does some mumbo-jumbo. Now do not ask how a priest knows the tantrik vidya. After seeing the whole film, such petty questions do not matter.
PAISA VASOOL
I am renowned in my friends as Tanker for my drinking capacity. I had a quick shot of whisky before going for this movie. And guess what! All my pride on being the tanker of the group was shattered. 15 minutes in the movie and my head was spinning.
The film is really very good, as it tests our intellectual skills, imaginative skills and of course, patience.
It is the story of two girls, Maria(who has left her cop-husband) and Baby(whose is from Delhi, is a struggling dancer in Bollywood, and hates people making fun of her name), who meet up at a discotheque, and before you know it, become fast friends, so much so that one of them moves in with the other the very next day. Quite believable! It seems that the bungalow where Maria stays is the bone of contention between many people. There are all sorts of wierd characters who keep on popping in and out of the screen for no apparent reason. There is a builder who comes just once to scare Maria. Then there is a man, who seems to be the rightful heir to the bungalow, and wants Manisha to vacate the place, as he has taken some money from the builder.
However, he is ready to let her stay if she agrees to marry him. (Dunno how it solves the problem of the builder.) Then there is a bundle of hair (with a man hanging by it underneath) called Biriyani bhai(He looks like a chicken too- Makrand Deshpande, who else?), who seems to be after a lot of things at a time. There is a booty of diamonds worth Rs.3 crore which is stolen by Biriyani bhai and a guy called Jamshed, who work for a certain Uncleji, who in turn is trying to sell it to some supposed-to-be-funny goon.
Our two friends get involved in the whole scene when they hear about the booty on a cross connection. (Now, isn't that innovative?) And then the friends decide to get a cut out of the booty. What follows is a blackmail demand, a scene in a cowshed, the murder of the milkman, a dog-attack on Maria's bakery, some phone tappings from an STD booth, the murder of Jamshed, the murder of the boothman(who is Manisha's lover- expected to be understood by intelligent viewers), a dance at the Gateway of India, a chase, and finally some dough for the intelligent friends.
Now how all these things are incorporated in a 2-hour long film is something that can be explained only by Miss Koirala or the director of this movie. Just have two shots of whisky and let your head spin with Manisha! I hear she can link all the shots in the movie, and genuinely believes that it is a sensible film. Well, in that case, I guess I will forego my claim to the title of Tanker. By the way, remember to laugh once in a while...after all, Maniben says it's a comedy. A Comedy of errors, perhaps!
PURANI HAVELI
Treat this entry as a symbolic form of all Ramsay movies. (Would have loved to see the fellow who started this never-ending family. The brothers never seem to end....)
This entry is symbolic to all those run-of-the-mill Ramsay movies which had almost the same plot and the same Thakur ki purani haveli. This Thakur had to be either the hero's or heroine's dead uncle. And then, one fine day the hero(some hulk with long hair and stony face) and the heroine(some babe with a cute but...yeah, you guessed right- a stony face), alongwith their group of friends(one villain and one comedian mandatory), made their way to this haveli for some holiday. The structure of this haveli was always the same.
One mysterious gardener, who believed in a baritone voice, one maid with a low cut blouse, who invariably became the object of affection for the comedian and another domestic help of the haveli(another comedian). The comedy element accounted for by this triangle of love, the Ramsays were free to explore the haveli for age-old secrets, hidden treasures and ghosts. One death in the heroine's bedroom and one death in the nearby woods was a certainty.
Invariably, the climax would either have a diamond studded cross or OM to beat the spook(no pun, spookaay). Come to think of it, I feel that this haveli deserves a lifetime achievement award...ok, make that a deathtime achievement award.
I guess that the review is fast nearing the wordlimit by Mouthshut, so I will wind up. However, let me atleast name a few more before I upload this review for public scrutiny. While writing on such a topic, one cannot forget movies like Toofan, Ek Choti si Love Story, Ganga Jamna Saraswati, Kuch kuch hota hain, Mrityudata, Ram Jaane and Trimurti.
It is quite possible that the readers may mistake these selections to be the best Bollywood films. Blame it on my writing prowess. Yes...I like these films, and I know that this is the category for the worst bollywood films. Stil
