Whoever is reading this review, Get ready with Rotten tomatoes, potatoes n eggs(if ur Non Veg or if u have a Hen at home) to be thrown on the guys who made these 13 Sick films which I Love to Hate with Equal Intensity.
- *Kareeb
*Movie ka naam tha Kareeb aur movie thi poori tarah Gareeb.
A lazy lad, Bobby D loves the heroine Neha n to get the marriage done peacefully, steals money from his own father n hands it over to him again, lying that Neha's uncle gave it. Unfortunately, on the eve of the wedding, the truth is revealed n everything goes haywire
- Dil Kya Kare
Mera sawaal hai'Janta Kya Kare' after seeing this pathetic movie wherein Ajay D & Kajol sleep before marriage, n then Kajol goes away, as if to say it was just a 1 night Stand, only to become pregnant n come back into Ajay's life again, only this time Ajay is married to a Sterile Mahima C n has adopted a girl who is actually his n Kajol's child.
- Mr & Mrs Khiladi
I suggest a perfect name for the film'Mr & Mrs Kabaadi'
Its the most Hopeless Khiladi movie I had ever seen, where Akshay K(under the False predictions by an Astrologer ie Irritating Satish K) lives in a Fantasy world, aspiring to be the King.
The Moronic heroine(Juhi C) loves this'Useless Good for Nothing Guy' n recites the famous Sholay'Jai – Mausi' dialogues to convince her dad for accepting Akki.
The Hero finally wakes up from his Kumbhkarna slumber only when his sister decides to go with Gulshan G, in return for the Rs. 1 lakh that Akki has to pay his Father in law
At the end, the hero fights against a 451 kg giant n the story ends happily.
The humour was absent, with an unconvincing screenplay & unbelievable caricatures.
- *Tom, Dick N Harry
: Dino M, Jimmy S, Anuj S, Celina J, Kim S n Gulshan G
1 deaf, 1 blind n 1 dumb left the audiences in the same state. God knows who played what.
Viewers didn't know if the movie had a story, ifthe actors acted in the movie n couldn't find words to describe the suffering that they endured while watching the movie.
- Pyare Mohan
Another Dumb movie starring Vivek O as Deaf n Fardeen as Blind or was it the Reverse.
The heroines had only 2 things to do in the film: Dance n Shriek for help
I think after this movie, producers n directors stopped offering the heroes, any further movie roles, probably because they must have thought the Heroes are Really what they have Portrayed themselves in the movie.
- Garam Masala
Garam were the Skimpily Dressed Models n Masala was the Pelvic Thrusts n Gyrations which these girls performed as if they had Joint Pains Alternating With Constipation.
Also there was Akshay K n the'One Expression on his Face' John Abraham, overacting n fighting over the 3 Airhostesses who r Mentally Blind n Physically Deaf, since None of the 3 girls could ever hear anything, even if they were all in the same house at the same time.
Worse was when Akki got the Filmfare Best Comedian award for this Humourless Crap
- Mangal Pandey
Bandh karo'Mangal Mangal' kyunki ho gaya'Amangal se bhara Dangal'
4 hours long movie, with a screenplay stretched like a Rubber band, coupled with unwanted interruption by songs, n deviation from actual story, were the Hallmarks of this movie.
It was after this movie that I thought of Proposing a Money Back policy for any agony suffered by a moviegoer, if the movie falls flat below expectations
- No Entry
The Entry of this film in this review is surprising but I actually found the movie pathetic.
A Flirty hubby(Salman K) bets with Bipasha B that if she managed to seduce Anil K(A Loyal husband), he would pay her Rs. 2 Lakhs.
Worse happens when 3 Expressionless?Actors Fardeen K, Celina J & Esha D get pulled into this Chakravyuha.
- RGV Ki Aag
Kya aap Fear Factor dekhkar Bore ho gaye hain?
Kya aap Fear Factor programme se zyada Challenging kaam karna chahte hain?
Kya aap Khudko Akshay Kumar se Behtar Action Hero maante hain?
Haan Bhai Haan: To aapke liye hai yeh movie.
If u can tolerate this Ghastly Assassinated version of the original Sholay(At ur own risk), u deserve a Huge Round of Applause n a Cash prize, provided the Producers have money left to Sponsor it.
I myself changed the channel as I couldn't tolerate the Dark Torture for more than 30 min.
Use: Can be used to Torture anyone like Nagging Wife or Girlfriend(or Both if u own), Lalita Pawar type of Saas or Tyrant Boss
How To Use: Bas Plastic foil Kaato, CD pack Kholo aur DVD pe Laaga do.
Har Muskuraata hua chehra Torture se Tensed bana do.
- Tashan
I will Punish anyone who says that Tashan is Not a Hit. Its A Smash Hit.
A Hit That Hit Yash Raj Films N The Actors So Badly That They Are Yet To Come Out Of That Spell.
Such an Awful sorry Awesome Movie(? Yawn) with Shocking performances by the actors like a Starved Kareena, a'Wow' Saif, a Head Scratching Akki n the English Walking n Talking Anil Kapoor whose Command over the Language is going to Shock u, I mean Rock u till the end.
Also, if u want to spend some private moments but cannot find a place in Mumbai, then go to the theatre where this movie is being shown. U won't be disappointed.
- Satyam Shivam Sundaram
I know many people would dislike me for including such a movie wherein the Heroine was Skimpily dressed under the excuse of poverty.
I can't stop laughing when I see the movie wherein the hero(Shashi K) is so Dumb that he doesnt even look at the Heroine(Zeenat A) properly before marriage.
Also if the heroine could hide her scarred face so convincingly, then couldn't she do the same on the eve of the wedding night?
A Ridiculous movie which only had some scenes the entire family could see by watching the movie separately.
After seeing this movie, I realized:'Love Is Blind N Marriage Is An Eye Opener!'
- Ram Teri Ganga Maili
The movie should be renamed as'Raj Teri Manda Maili'
Another crap from the same company with a scintillating scene, which u know by now.
The hero(Rajiv K) sermons about Swami Vivekanand's ideals, but doesn't mind leaving his newly wed wife Ganga(Mandakini) in her hometown, after honeymoon is over, only to know that she is now a Courtesan
- Neal N Nikki
The movie should have been titled'Nicker n Kicker'
The Nicker is Uday C(Perfectly Miscast) who wants to enjoy 1 Night Stands before he is made to Sit forever with 1 woman, for the rest of his life.
The Kicker is Tanisha, a gal who wants to resolve her problems with her boyfriend
Nicker meets Kicker n whether both Fall / Rise / Sleep in Love, Only God Knows
Uday is Right when he sings'I'm the Neal, I'm the man Rockstar, Superstar'
Uday, I doubt if ur a Superstar but certainly ur expressions are as Flat as a Rock.
Also I would like u to be a Star who is So far that Nobody can see it even with a Telescope.
I wonder what the Director was thinking, when he was making this Soft Porn variety of Flick, without a story.
Comments: Hatale re baba, arre mereko nahin re, in movies ko meri yaadaasht se
Though there are many more Sick movies, I will discuss them some other time, provided I come out of the Hangover left by the above 13.
