Tata Sky DTH Service. Review on Tata Play

If there is one thing thats fraught with devious standards, then it has to be this entire TataSky DTH initiative. Touted to be the next gen solution that wuld free the average joe consumer from the shackles of the local Cable operator, this image is anything but that. Simply put - Tata Sky DTH is a rip off. I called up the local helpline in Mumbai and this is how it goes -

TS Exec - Good morning this is so and so, how may I help you?

Me - This is John and I would like to inquire on the availability of the TS DTH kit.

TS Exec - Oh yes, thank you for showing interst blah and blah. The kit is available only for Rs 2,999.

Me - Oh wow great. So if I place an order today, when will it delivered?

TS Exec - That sir will take about minimum of 72 hours. In 24 hrs our engineer will call you and confirm.

Me - Awesome. So this Rs 2,999 covers the whole hog right?

TS Exec - Well sir there is activation and installation charges that amounts to Rs 1000

Me - Gulp, ok. So how are the montly billing charges?

TS Exec - Yes sir, I'll help you on that sir (Damn! I wish she stopped being so patronising). You have to pay Rs 200 only for the first 4 months.

Me - Ok, great! So what sorta channles do I get?

TS Exec - Yes sir, Ill just tell you that sir (Now its dowright ingratiating). You get all of Star, Sony, Zee bouquet. And then there are a couple of other international channels and a couple of international digital Radio channels.

Me - Ok cool. After 4 months how much do I need to pay you?

TS Exec - (After a long pause) Er.. Sir we havent yet finalised on that. But we shall tell you soon enough.

Soon enough??? What the hell is that supposed to mean anyways??? Ok so now Im buying a DTH kit that by no means is cheap and over that the condescending exceutive makes it sound like shes doing a favour to me by disclosing "soon enough" whats will the the end user billing charges post-4 months. And by the way the Rs 200 that she initially quoted was NOT the end user price. Thats the absolute price that Tata Sky DTH would charge you from their end. Add enetrtainment levies + more taxes + more silly BS taxes = Anywhere between Rs 225 - 275. Back to the lovely chat -

Me - Soon enough??? What if you jack the prices up suddenly by 100%? Hell what if it was 200%???

TS Exec - Oh no sir, we value our customers (Ofcourse they are the ones going to empty their pockets/wallets innit?) therefore I can assure you that the company will not do anyhting drastic of this sort.

Me - Oh really? How nice. Can you give me a written undertaking on that on your company letter head.

TS Exec - Well, sir as you know (No I dont you condescending moron) I cant do that. But I can assure you blah and blah

Me - Awrite I do hope I get all the premium channels right? Which means theres Star Movies and HBO yes?

TS Exec - Well, sir, since the government ha sbanned them we are not showing it on our platform. But this will be rectified very soon

Me - NOT THERE??? You got to be kidding me!!! And what do you mean by very soon? Very soon for me is 2 days. I guess for you it would be a convenient 4 months. And hey my local cable guy has said he offers the Movies & HBO feed on his Settop box!!!

Now this is the pits!!! I want to get DTH becaose A) Im not going to be grovelling in front of my cable operator and plead him to stop arbitarily pulling the plug on Star Movies, HBO, AXN etc B) I get uniterrupted feeds of the same on DTH.

But with this revelation (Which by the way she conveniently failed to inform me at the start when she said all brand bouquets are available) Im definitely having second thoughts. This immediately led me to start on a second line of discussion shortly.

TS Exec - Well, sir you see we are a transparent company (Yeah you kid me not lady) and therefore we adhere to the governments norms. So Movies and HBO is not available.

Me - But when you launched TataSky comercially, it would have been on your platform right?

TS Exec - Correct sir (WOW! I scored brownie points), but since government banned them, we had to stop too.

Me - How long was this since you guys stoped airing?

TS Exec - That would be about 2 weeks back sir.

This chat transcript took place on Nov 10, 2006 at about 4 pm. The goverment ban on Movies and HBO came into affect somewhere around mid or last week of August. Therefore this exec was blatantly lying or was a VERY ignorant soul. this leads to the second line of discussion -

Me - Hey you do offer a la carte channel subscriptions too right?

TS Exec - Well sir as of now we are giving everything for free as of now. So you can enjoy all these previliges.

Me - And what exactly are these previliges considering Im not getting Movies & HBO?

TS Exec - Well sir Im sorry about that. But this will be rectified soon. (Damn, Im so near to crossing the line of decent discussion to chaotic expletives. And oh yeah she doesnt bother about explaining on the said previliges).

Me - Coming back, what is the scene about the a la carte subscription deal?

TS Exec - Well sir we have no information on that as of now.

Me - Gasp! What about a list of free to air channels that you have on the platform?

TS Exec - Well sir for Rs 200/month you can enjoy all the benefits on our DTH platform.

Me - Sigh... Im asking about the list of FREE TO AIR channels that are there on your platform? I do hope you know what FREE TO AIR channels mean?

TS Exec - Well sir, at this point in time we have no information on that.

Me - So you have absolutely no idea whats going to be the scene after 4 months? I mean what FTA channels would be there, how much will my montly billing charges be, how much I will be swindled of my hard earned money et al?

TS Exec - Well sir we have a premium Hollywood channel that will enable you to see newly realeased movies.

Me - Lady, thats a pay-per-view deal, which IM DEFINITELY NOT INTERESTED IN.

TS Exec - Well sir I can understand how you feel but I can assure you that prices will not be raised so dramatically as you said.

Oh, so now she was insinuating that somewhere there would be a drama and prices would be jacked. OUCH! Also in die course of the convo she gave me my PIN number, which I told her to put on hold.

Me - Kindly witheld my PIN number and I shall go forward only when you assure me that Star Movies and HBO are on the platform.

TS Exec - Well sir you will have to call up and check with our customer care.

Me - No probs, have a nice day.

So after 45 minutes of a trully enlightening conversation with some ignoramus, on Friday evening I called up my local cable operator's rookie - Salim Bhai, who came in fixed the set top box on Saturday at 4 pm at Rs 3,500 and told me that for the next 6 months there would be no fees and also post that the pricing would be fixed as per government norms and regulations. He also said that a la carte and bouquet subscription pricing would be available, though a la carte would be tad more expensive.

Oh by the way Dish TV is a tad more pathetic than TataSky. Mr Kaushik if your outfit comes in the clear about all of the above issues you still have your golden gooses around the place. Why wallow in the grey?