Aug 21, 2008 03:34 PM
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Good Morning & thank you for this chance to speak.Today is about you,who have come to college,to become something in your life.You are excited,as these are days when one is truly elated.1st day in college you are getting ready feel a tingling in your stomach.Curious about lots,this is excitement, the spark makes you feel truly alive.I will talk about keeping the spark shining,how to be happy most,if not all the time.
Where do these sparks start?My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks.A Spiderman toy makes them jump,get thrills from creaky swings in the park,story from dad excites them,a daily countdown for birthday party-many months away before they will cut their own cake.
I see students with sparks,but in older people,it is hard to find,i.e.as we age,the spark fades.People whose spark has faded too much are dull,dejected,aimless & bitter.Remember Kareena in 1st half of Jab We Met vs.2nd half?That is when spark is lost.
Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame.The first aspect is nurturing-to give your spark the fuel, continuously.The second is to guard against storms.
To nurture,always have goals.It is human nature to strive,improve & achieve full potential.In fact, that's success,what is possible for you.It isn't any external measure-a certain CTC pay package,a particular car/house.
We are from families,where material landmarks is success & rightly so.When you have grown up,financial freedom is a big achievement.But is it the purpose of life?If that be so,Mr.Ambani & SRK would stay at home,Steve Jobs won't work to make better iPhones,he sold Pixar for billions already.They do because it makes them happy,feel alive.Just getting better from current levels feels good.If you study hard,you improve your rank.If you make an effort to interact with people,you do better in interviews.Striving for that next level is important.
Nature designed with a random set of genes & circumstances in which we were born.To be happy,we have to accept it & make the most of nature's design.Are you?Goals will help you do that.
Don't just have career or academic goals.Set goals to give you a balanced,successful life,which means ensuring your health,relationships,mental peace are all in good order.
There is no point getting a promotion on the day you breakup.There is no fun to drive a car if the back hurts.Shopping is not enjoyable if mind is full of tensions.
You must have read some quotes.Life is a tough race,marathon or whatever.No,from what I have seen,it is a race at nursery school,you run with marble on a spoon in your mouth.If the marble falls,there is no point coming first.Same with life,where health & relationships are the marble.Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life.Else,you may achieve success,but this spark, excitement,will start to die.
About nurturing the spark.Don't take life seriously.My yoga teachers used to crack jokes & when asked,if these would take away something from the practice,he said-don't be serious,be sincere. This defined my work ever since.Whether it's my writing,job,relationships or any goals.Life is not to be taken seriously,as we are really temporary here.We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity.If we are lucky,we may last another 50 years or 2500 weekends.We are people,not programmed devices.
3 things-reasonable goals,balance & not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark.However, there are 4 storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame.These must be guarded against.They are disappointment,frustration,unfairness & loneliness of purpose.
Disappointment comes when efforts do not give you expected returns,or things don't go as planned or you face failure.Failure is extremely difficult to handle & if you come out,you are stronger.What did this it teach me?Is the question you need to ask?You will feel miserable,want to quit,like me when 9 publishers rejected my first book.But it's life.If challenges could always be overcome,they would cease to be a challenge.And remember-if you are failing at something,that means you are at your limit or potential.And that's where you want to be.
Frustration,the second storm,happens when things are stuck.Like traffic jams or getting the job you deserve can take so long that you don't know if you chose the right goal.After books,my goal was writing for Films,but it took 5 years to get close to a release.Frustration saps excitement & turns your initial energy into something negative,making you bitter.A realistic assessment of the time involved-movies take long to make but are watched quickly,seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result-at least I was learning how to write scripts,having a side plan-had my third book to write & something as pleasurable as distractions in your life-friends,food,travel can help you overcome it.Nothing is to be taken seriously.Frustration is a sign that you took it too seriously.
Unfairness-is hardest to deal with,but unfortunately that is how it is.People with connections,rich dads,beautiful faces,pedigree find it easier to make it-not just in Bollywood,but elsewhere & sometimes it is plain luck.There are so few opportunities in India,so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen.Merit & hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term,but the long term correlation is high & ultimately things do work out.But there will be some luckier than you.Let's be grateful for what we have & get strength to accept what we don't.I have so much love from my readers that others cannot even imagine.However,I don't get literary praise.It's ok.I am not like Aishwarya,but I have 2 boys who are more beautiful.Don't let unfairness kill your spark.
Isolation-As you grow older you will realize you are unique.As kids all u want is Ice cream & Spiderman.As you grow older,you still are lot like your friends.But 10 years later & you realize you are unique.What you want,believe in,makes you feel,different from people close to you.This can create conflict as your goals may not match & may drop some of them.Basketball captains in college stop playing by the time they have a 2nd child.They give up that meant so much to them,for their family.But in doing so the spark dies.Never make that compromise.Love yourself first & then others.
The 4 storms-you cant avoid & they will come at regular intervals.You need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.
