Jun 16, 2006 09:15 AM
5762 Views
(Updated Jun 19, 2006 12:22 AM)
After a hard morning, I decided to step into Subway at Nagarjuna Circle, Punjagutta, Hyderabad. And I magnanimously paid almost 150/-, for what tasted worse than left-overs.
A small restaurant, the subway joint tunes the TV to some channel and plays some other audio (worldspace) over its speakers. very disjointing. That, the audio quality is similar to a auto-walla's system, does not help.
At the order counter you see the first glimpse of mismanagement and redundancy. No wonder why the americans lay-off people en-masse in times of crisis. They hire excess and don't get work done systematically in the first place.
At the order counter, You first choose whether you want Veg. or Non veg. (they cost similar and taste similar anyway). If the board for the appropriate counter is too high, hanging from the ceiling instead of being a counter-top placard, and you need to tilt your neck to 90 degrees to make out which counter you are on, its your problem. Indians are too short.
By now if you have located the correct counter, you wait to place the order.
Wait a minute...Did you just say wait?
Yes. Turns out, a single guy will take your order, make it and deliver it. So while he is busy with some other customer's order (or the confusion in ordering ... too many un-informed choices), you wait. Our decency makes us wait. You embarass yourself too while making the order because the staff is not clear about the various 'choices' on offer.
You then hang around the counter while your order is being wrapped in paper. Guys, I only want to eat-in. Sorry sir, we like cutting trees and wrapping everything in paper. Hell, we even use paper for you know what and you know where.
Here comes the redundant part: all the while, there's a bozo loafing around the cash machine eyeing the women. He is dressed like a cleaner. He refuses to take your order or offer any other help. When the gift wrapped subway sandwich is ready, he wants money from you before he will give it to you.
A question: why are the 'darshini' hotels of south so famous? Because of the efficiency. Someone takes your order and bills it. Other people behind the scene complete your order. Can you picture Gordon Ramsey of Hell's Kitchen running around the restaurant taking orders and then cooking them? No you cant, because he is a cook. He cooks well and knows he should not waste time taking orders. He has a french Maitre'D Jean-Phillippe to take the orders.
I asked my waiter-cook for a chicken subway, and ask him to take the call regarding which bread, which topping etc. Of the 6-7 types of breads on offer, they are all stone cold and taste like - umm.. bread.
The sandwich cost almost 80+ bucks, so when the waiter-cook installed two transparent slices of chicken from those american style chicken paste in round plastic tubes, I was disappointed. First, those plastic wrapped tubes of chicken are known to contain every part of the chicken. Entrails and all. Stuff that we dont eat in India. Second, the tubes are obviously not cooked, falvoured or anything. Looked to me like they were steamed. Ever tried steamed plain chicken (plain steamed)? Tastes like paper.
On top of this, the waiter-cook installed few finely chopped sprinkles of unknown vegetables (I could only identify the onion & olive). Also ice cold. Horrors of horror is that subway does not apply any fat to the subway. No cheese, no mayonaise, nothing cooked in butter. Nothing spicy. No flavouring.
Hello! This is not America. We are malnourished folks here. Did you see the health of our football players? One little shove from the brazillians and the poor boys will be in hospital for months. The same with cricket: the new entrants look hopelessly malnourished. What about the man on the street? the lesser said - the better.
I can understand if a ITES/SW professional (nicely round around the middle at the age of 26) says - 'a little less of the mayonaise' but to remove the option altogether? What the f am I paying for?
I had ordered a subway meal (remembering my positive experience from Nirula's/McDonalds in Delhi). The redundant cash operator did me a favour by giving me a soft-drink and asking me to pick a Rs. 10/- Lays packet from a shelf. I thought fries meant Potato finger fries. Not 10 slices of potato cooked by Pepsi in Delhi and shipped to Hyderabad in a plastic foil fit to be used as a travel pillow.
I spent the next 30 minutes at the joint gulping pepsi and trying to focus on the day ahead. Trying to ignore what I was eating (which was not very hard since it was quite tasteless and icy cold). I think I figured out why the food is icy cold. The cold numbs your taste buds.
Came home, told my wife - "Honey, I will need to take the bus to work for the next two days because I squandered the Auto-fare on a harebrained american scheme". Did I mention that the tables were dirty?
