Aqua Vitae. Review on Smirnoff Vodka

A man was riding a motorbike on a cold and windy weather. To protect himself from the cold wind, he put on the jacket Back to Front. In the long run, he rammed a tree. A couple of drunkards (Vodkaits) were passing by. When they discover that the man was unconscious, they decided to give him first aid before the ambulance came. The doctors were amazed when they examined the man and found him dead:

The drunkards immediately explained - “How come? He was very seriously injured. For one thing, his head was turned the other way round. He passed away when we tried to fix his head back!” (From a Russian web site on Vodka)

Do you remember the statue in the film ISHQ in the departmental store of Deven Varma? I hope Aamir and Ajay were not on Vodka.

There are hundreds of jokes on Vodkaits because of their very innovative way of thinking after drinking their favorite vodka. But remember it is not a ladies drink and it is as strong as any other spirit. Normally any vodka is 40% v/v or 70’ proof.

Vodka is originated from East Europe. Polish and Russians try to claim their supremacy on that subject but Russian seems to be ahead in the race. Let us look at the history.

Most probably, “Aqua Vitae” was the initial form of Vodka. This was having 18-20% alcohol. The thirteenth-century alchemist Arnaud de Villeneuve of Montpelier (Italy) expressed his opinion on spiritus vini or ''spirit of wine.'' - ''strengthens the body and lengthens life.'' Because of this belief it was known as Aqua Vitae (Latin) or ''Water of Life.'' Initially wines were used for its curative properties. Aqua vitae were also used as a therapy for a variety of illness. In those days alchemist were mostly involved in developing Aqua Vitae.

Astounding properties were credited to this “Extraterrestrial Water”which was made of wine by a typical low temperature distillation process. Russians learnt the art of distilling aqua vitae from Italian monasteries to produce vodka. This centuries old product have gone through many changes to improve its quality to gain today’s status. Today’s vodka is normally 40% v/v and unfortunately used only for intoxication.

Experience of the product -

I had to organize a party to entertain some of our clients and the group was of Vodkaits. Normally I do not go for this colorless, tasteless liquid with no special fragrance and not having an appealing Body. Still I decided to go for it because some of you suggest “Customer is the God”.

Well, the cocktail counter was having only Vodka and accessories required for it. One of the brands was Smirnoff (red).

Smirnoff seems to be the best Vodka in the town and price tag is good to impress the guests. This delight of many comes in sada sida transparent 750 ml bottle with a dispenser. This is also available in other sizes but without a dispenser.

Smirnoff is an American Brand name introduced by a Russian family fled from Russia. Its original name was Smirnov. Available in the market with different concentration with different color-codes. I have tested only the red one. You may read the review by Sri at https://mouthshut.com/readreview/21623.html to know more about other variants.

The main reason for going for this brand is the reliability in quality. Vodka may be very nasty if care is not taken in distillation stage. According to regular consumers the taste and flavor is always the same. This is one of the vodka that is not artificially flavored to mask the original smell.

Smirnoff may be consumed in Russian way of drinking vodka because of its consistent high quality. What’s that Russian way?

Lesson 1 - Russians drink Vodka neat and never mix it with anything. Keep those cold drinks, fruit juices away.

Lesson 2 - Russians serve Vodka cool and drink it from special vodka glasses.

Lesson 3 - Russians drink vodka with their meal. Neither before nor after. Spicy food goes well.

Lesson 4 - Russian never drink alone if he is not a drunkard or a scholar

Lesson 5 - Russians drink quite often. They usually drink generously and spend lot time. They drink until late and triumph the hangover in the morning with one more shot of vodka.

Lesson 6 - Charka is an ancient Russian measure of liquids used for vodka. Initially 150gm used to be one unit. However, purity of vodka has reached to today’s level of strength of abs. 40° or 70° Proof. Today a single dose – as understood - contains abs. 70 gm (about 90 ml). So, how many Charka? I have no intention to try the lesson-5 and I hope others follow me.

Lesson 7 – Russian toast after every Charka. Old Tradition is to serve Charka during dinner with a kiss by the lady host. But but………please read the comment of Etching

“it builds up your appetite, the hostess’ sweet kiss adds pleasant scent to my lips, and vodka, to my teeth. But if you are not a beauty, my dear hostess, please serve your vodka when the dinner is over!''

So friends, take care before following lessons 5 & 7.

Fortunately there was none in the party to follow Russian style may be due to absence of a lady host. People mostly consumed Smirnoff with Sprite or Orange juice. There was only one to give me company. My mixture was 30 ml Vodka with Chilled Light Black Tea to top-up the glass with about 2 ml of fresh lemon juice and a sugar cube.

This was an all male party and was organized away from the civilized people with an intention, so Daler Mehndi was too good to suit the crowd. There was big queue for the Barbeque. Initially there were very few takers for the Tandoori dishes. Main course was normal non-vegetarian Punjabi dishes. Dessert was Roy’s Special - Fresh fruits soaked in Gin served with Sweetened Strawberry Crush.

At the end of the party Smirnoff bottles were empty and guests were on other brands.

So friends, enjoy your drink for a longer lifespan and not for intoxication. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There are two good reviews on Smirnoff by vodka lovers and the links are

https://mouthshut.com/readreview/21091.html by Ranjan

https://mouthshut.com/readreview/12384-1.html by Pallavi