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60%
2.93 

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Vermillion worthlessness
May 04, 2005 01:37 AM 19190 Views
(Updated May 04, 2005 01:37 AM)

Acting:

Plot:

Mass Appeal:

Look & Feel:

People in general have a whole lot of responsibilities, wishes, desires, duties apart from uncles,aunts, spouses(Oopsie I meant spouse), siblings etc.


As a normal human being or atleast I claim myself to be one; time and again I have been accused of being geeky and having tv viewing tastes that have their humble beginnings in Andromeda by some of my friends. The last one week was supposed to be decisive for it was meant to shatter all the notions of myself being weird enough not to watch a single soap on any of the popular channels like Star or Zee.


So I vow to let everybody know that I can handle every crappy serial dished out to every unsuspecting viewer with as much interest and enthusiasm as I would if I watched Yes Minister for the very first time.


Encounter


So there I was-left alone at a flat in a new city for one and a half weeks with a hillock of reports to look at and learn from.Amidst such chaos there is this tiny tv (No not the cartoon network programme..Duh!) and you have only zee there.Late evening wihtout so much as wincing or preparing myself for the impending trouble I sit in front of the TV and flashes the face or a rather gawky one at that which looks at you as if it was just about to dash a thousand bats onto your innocent face with generous helpings of red on the screen. A little more probing and what you get is what follows:


Characters(should be characterssssssssss considering the number)


I don’t have a clue about whats the real name of the protagonist but a little birdie(has to be a real bore of a birdie) tells me its Juhi of Sanjeevani fame.So lets call her A.Her husband right now happens to be Dhruv(The operating word being right now).Lets call him B. And you have another guy in A’s life who’d be called C.You could choose to call him by any other name but a soap artist by any other name would be just as dumb.


And you thought it was a love traingle.HEHEHEHEEHE, aha its not as predictable and easy to decipher as that. A has a sis who’d be called S. S has a bf so what better than a BF.And S is married to B’s brother(D) and not BF.


You also have a rather sensible actress Tanvi Azmi playing B’s mother’s role atleast that’s how it is till not that is. God only knows what made her take this up. God help her get off this soon.


Story


A initially got married to C and went to a temple where C forgets the sindoor container in the front seat of the car, goes to get it, gets hit by a truck or may be something else happened but my mind could only gather as much. A tries to run tohis help but slips off the stairs has a nasty fall and loses her memory.Wish all the viewers could do that.Selective amnesia is the sole savior for them all. When A gains sense in a hospital she finds B there, remains in a trance like state, gets married to B.gains sense later yells and screams. By then S gets married to D coz S and A’s mom gets to know about S’s affair with BF.


News just in


Both A and S want to leave the house and in order that nobody gets to know the real story(whatever it is in the name of a story), A gives Tanvi and her husband tickets for a foreign holiday.


Now as per the latest trailor, A is going to test her vocal chords in a temple which probably were proven to be so damn powerful, it shot off a chemical reaction(the result being sindoor thrown onto her face via some duct in the temple ceiling)and the bells start ringing(that was natural resonance, it shook everything trust me!). She is screaming her lungs about how to handle the latest mess.


The funny part is the way those technicians must have had to keep running showing A shouting-


“Main is Paagalpan mein ki gayee Shaadi se Inkar karti hun Maan;


Main is Raizada Khandaan ki Bahoo banne se Inkaar Karti Hun Maan” with her mom shocked that a human being could generate decibel levels that high.


Need I say more?


I refuse to even if I need to.


PS


Keerti just fainted. She has since then been in a trance like state screaming, “Main is Soap operas ke concept ko dekhne se, Unke Existence ko acknowledge karne se inkar karti hun Doctor”. These symptoms have resulted from her precisely two days of tv viewing for a couple of hours.


This is her doctor posting her final thoughts as a sane person. I request you to pray for her speedy recovery.


Food for thought


We have had Mehendi tere naam ki.


We obviously just read about Sindoor tere naam ki.


What next??


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