A LOVE (?) LETTER. Review on Shopping.Rediff

Dear Reddu darling,

I know you would be angry with me for not visiting you frequently in the recent past. I accept, dear, when I started dating you five years back, I used to see you at least once in a day… Even when I was not having ample sum in my pocket.

You consider me as a turncoat, who tries to reject you once I got an official partner from my University? You are wrong! Completely wrong!! (By the way, the official partner is really boring, though efficient.. as all official partners used to be). Just think, when I started dating you, my friends told me that the other available ladies, Sify Devi and Yahoo Rani are more agile and have better home(page). I still went for you. I found you as a really charming young lady. And you were!

By the way, they were astonished became jealous of me, by seeing you gift during last year. You were simply broadminded, and gave me a gift worth 100MB capacity. My friend, who was dating Sify Devi was thriving with 2MB on those days. It was so nice of you.. (No, I am not loving you again.. Now everybody gives that much, dear.. nothing special in your gift!)

OK.. You want to hear why I am neglecting you? It may be painful.. You want to hear?

Start with your attitude.. I am telling for long that you should be unbiased and call a spade a spade. I was ashamed of being your partner when you were proclaiming that Main Hoon Na is the best thing happened in the history of Indian films.. And you were not so kind towards many better (read mediocre) films. Remember the day, when you announced that Yuva disappoints, even before the first show?. Again, I have a problem to adjust with you when you show a good bias towards some political party. You may adore Vajpai and abhor Soniya. (I understand that being a lady, it’s your privilege to be jealous to another of your kind). But many of your first announcements – take the last one on Kanchi Seer’s arrest – was greatly prejudiced, in simple terms. If you tell it’s your nature, I have no answer!

And many of my friends – who happened to by through you – says me that shopping with you is a horrible experience. They call Rediff shopping as fraud!! What do you say on this serious allegation?

But if you ask about the main reason behind my reluctance these days…You better ask the question yourself. You said, you don’t know?!

Coming to your weird behavior when I visit your box, sorry home…

I have already complained about making so much guests during our personal get-togethers. You, me and some decent friends whom we know.. That would have been fine. But what is happening these days? Example, last Friday.. Nearly 38 fellows came as mere Junk! And do you believe nearly half of them were asking me whether I need some medicine to have better .... No, honey! I can’t tell that! But how come you take all these stupid, bloody junks to our meetings. I had to throw each and everyone telling them as SPAMs!! Don’t call me rude!

And how you were behaving with me.. Today I came to your door for nearly 12 times, and you told me that “.. cannot open the site .. and operation aborted”. And dear, you even didn’t ask a word from me before going to such harsh measures like Abortion!! You value me so much only. That too for some flashy advertisements!!

No.. Now, I think I should accept the facts. You too do so. My friend recently introduced me to a giggling, simple girl for me, named Ms. Gmail.. (I call her Gia.. or Geuuu..) Chooo Chweeet in your language. She is as rich as you and gives equal share of 100MB to me. But Gia is not accessible to everyone; unlike you. Invitation is needed to start an affair with her. She is much decent, till now I couldn’t trace a single Junk fellow during our meeting. Gia is so simple and is accessible within seconds. After all, she is from a reputed Google Khandan. (I was really fascinated by her beta brother, scholar.google. He knows everything in my subject. Wow!)

My friends are warning that, after gaining my trust, Gia (Ms. Gmail, for you) may start charging from me. I told you that my first date from US, (her official name was USA.NET) did the same 5 years back. But frankly, I don’t mind, now! She will be prettier even at a cost. (For your information, I was ready to pay you if you were giving a Junk-less, Abortion-less and Bias-less service for me).

Dear, I know many of my friends still worship you. And it won’t make any difference whether you have me or not. Don’t think I am away forever. Still I think you are much decent in some aspects for not publishing the half nude pictures in your walls (Like our Indiatimes Kumari and many of her kind do).

I may not say a complete Chao to you. You are still there in one of my four cubicles of heart (Other three are occupied by Gia). And many of my friends know you only as my partner. But our meetings will be less frequent. I don’t think that you will give another gift of 100MB (even if you do so, what I will do with 200MB!?).

Limiting my words.. No hard feelings.. (?)

Let God save you from fatal viruses (and of course from Tsunamis)!

Painfully yours,

Mukundan