By musafir
My top ten countdown
Here are all of shahrukh's movies that I hated
10 - Koyla - absolute ghatia performance, but don't you just love it that shahrukh khan doesn't talk for more than 90 minutes in a film, thats the only time I watched srk and didn't feel like killing myself.
9- Chalte chalte- are kya yaar is film ke baad ghar ki taraf chalte chalte mera dimak chal basa.
8 - Dil to pagal hai- film ka naam tha dil to pagal hai, lekin shahrukh aur karishma ko is film me ek saath dekhte me khud pagal ho gaya.
7 - Kabhi kushi kabhi gam- are is film ka title hona chayeta kabhi gam sirf gam, shahrukh ko rote dekh kar mein bhi rone laga, mere 6 pound gaye ghate me.
6- Duplicate- he bhagwan agar is duniya me such much do shahrukh hote to phir amitabh ko kon yed karega.
5 - Baadshah- mein film ko dekhne ja raha tha theatre mein doosre showing kil ye, pehle show ke baad 20 -30 log meri taraf dor rahe te aur chila rahe te '' bhaag, bhaag are bhagwan kil ye bhaag are apna aap par reham kar'' mujhe laga osama aaj theatre me poch gaya!!!!. phir 2 sal baad mene film dekhi mujhe pata chala ke vo mujhe bhaagne kil ye kyu ke rahe te, are itna asaan tha yaar, shahrukh comedy kar raha tha, or kya, abh log to is baat par darr to jayege naa.
hey raam aur kitni kharaab film karega yai
4-Ramjaane- aree such mooch ram jaane ke yeh gadha is filmme kya role kar raha tha, lekin is film ke bich ek bohit hi badya twist thi, mujhe pata chala ke mein chadi pehna bhul gaya (DUM DUM dum), ladki ayee mere pas, me gabra gaya, agar isse pata chal gaya to vo chadi dada ko sab kuch batadegi, ar phir meri chadi ki supply khatam, phir mera kya haal hoga (FREEZE FRAME) RAMJAANE RAMJAANE RAMJAAAAANEEEE RAMJAANE KESE PETE YEH MERA NAAM JAANE,AGAR POTA HO TO MERA RAAMJANE, ISKEBAD
CHADI MILENGI YEH MERA RAMJAANE, CHADIIIIII MILENGE YEH MERA RAAMJAANE.
3- Phir bhi dil hai hindustani- mera bharat mahaan, lekin shahrukh kar raha hein hum sab ko badnam. mera joota he japani, meri patloon englistani, chadi pehna bhul gaya tha, phir bhi voh hai pakistani, meri bandook spanishthani,
aur ek shahrukh film ke baad, hojaooga pagalsthani.
2- mohabbatein- cinema me film ko dekhte dekhte mein gaane lagaa, - hum ko yaha se chudvalo, kohi he to hum ko bachaalo, hum akele roh na jaaya, beja fryyyyy ho na jaaya, aajaao pagal khana leejaaaaao.
Film kharab thi, shahrukh bhi, lekin beech mein product advertisements kamal khi thi. va kya advertisement thi, shahrukh ke specs dekhe mujhe pata chala ke ?I SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SPECSAVERS?. Aur ek 60 sal ke bhudde ki tara kapre pehna to aaj kal style hota hai shahrukh ki tara.
Lekin such much shahrukh ki dialogues ke baad, me pyar ka deewana ban gayaa, mujhe pyaar se pyaar hogayya, mein jaan gaya ke prem kya cheez hai. Bich mein film main, shahrukh teen gadho ko advice deh raha tha, ?jao tumhari laksh ki taraf, jise tum pyar karte ho, vohi tumhara lakshe hai, vaha gate ki taraf tumhara pyar khara hai, jao us ki taraf?.
Mujhe lag raha tha ke shahrukh mujhe keh raha hai, such mooch ladki ayee popcorn ke saath mere row mai sirf 4 seat ki durya. Mene uski taraf dekha, mera dil dhadka, kuch kuch hone laga, pehli nazar mein mujhe pyar ho gaya, shahrukh ne kaha jao apne lakshya ki taraf, mein uta tayaar hogaya,
SHAHRUKH: tumhare bich jo deewar he usse toor de.
humhari bich 4 seat thi, lekin raasta mushkil tha, do mote log mere bich me bete the, mein rone loga.
ME:(crying) ?Yeh nah mumkin shahrukh, mein nahi karsakta?
SHAHRUKH: to-tttt-ttotoo phir tu pyar ke lllayak nahi, pyar use kehte, jiskil ye insane sari hadde par kar sak ta, na mumkin ko mumkin karta hai, agar tum usse sacha pyar karte ho to jao uski oor.
Mein utha (eye of the tiger music) me dora, mota uta, raasta rok liya,
MOTE: ?tum cinema ke usool nahi toor sokte, hum tumme kamyaab nahi hone donge?
ME:?haaraaaaamzaaaaade ek baat kan kol kar soon le, shahrukh ne kaha hein mujhe tho mein apni premika ke pas jahraha hoo, chahe bhi mujhe apni chadi ki supply rokni ho, mujhe koi nahi rok sakta. YAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
Jung ki laray hooi, usne mujhe kuchal dalla, ,moti bhi ayi chapal ke saath. mena himmat nahi hari, mene shahrukh ko pukarra
ME: abe shahrukh, meri madad kar!!!!
SHAHRUKH: abhe kkk-kkkkya he yaar dikta nahin, mein meri dead girlfriend ki aur meri dukhbhari prem lila ki katha sunaa raha hoo.
Shahrukh ne madad nahi ki, lekin mere pyar ne mujhe aur himmat di. Mene mote ki popcorn leli aur kahaa.
ME: ?khabar daar, agar tumese kohi hila, to mein yeh popcorn khajoonga?
MOTE: ?tum esa nahi kar sakte, nahi kar sakte bhagwan kil ye isSe choor do,
ME:mwaaahahahah, ab mein isse nahi choruga, hehehehe, mene popcorn pekh di, voh popcorn ke picche baghe, mein apni lakshya ki taraf gaya, vaha pocha, mena kaha shahrukh ab mein kya karu,
SHAHRUKH: apne pyaar ka izhaar kar,
mene pyar ka izhaar kiya, usne meri taraf dekha, mene uski taraf, aankho me annkhe dali (freeze frame) MUSIC(kuch kuch hota hain)
SHAHRUKH: apna hath badaao,
mene hath badaaya, usne apna haath badaaya, mene per par rakha, lekin usne ek PATAAAAAAAAAK de kar apna haath mere gal par lagaaya, shahrukh ki tora rone lagaa, aur kahaa ?shahhrukh tu kitna gatia idea dehta hai yaar.?
SHAHRUKH: aree-eehehe yaaaar per par kyu hath rakha, breasts par kyu nahi rakha, mujshe kuch sikh na, har film mein romantic role hi kar ta hoo, mujhe pata he kkk-kkese chalta hain.
Us din se muje pata chala ke pyar kya chiz hoti hain, sab ko deewana kar ti hain, lekin ek thapar se gal ko lal kar dehti hain. Us din ke baad mene kabhi pyar nahi kiyaa.
Back to real life where I finished telling this sad story to my students in horny boys institution.
STUDENTS: (CRYING) sir aapki kahaani kitne dukh bhari hain.
ME: (started playing violin) pyar kabhi mat karna, voh esi chiz hai joh hamme paagal kardegi, shahrukh ki acting ki tara. Jo thapad mene khahi he vo kal tumme na lagjaye, isli pyar mat karna dosto lekin horny zurur rehna, yeh meri zindagi ka usool hai.
Anyway back to real life
Are apne zindagi mein itna ulja gaya ke mein bhulgaya shahrukh ki buri acting ki tareef karne.
Abh do saal baad ayee ek mahabakwaas kahaani.
1 ? Devdas- is film mein teen character te, paro, chandramukhi, aur shahrukh, aish aur o madhuri ki acting ka koy jawaab hi nahi. lekin problem yeh thi ke kahaani ek dham bakwaas thi, aree director ne shahrukh ko mental patient ka role kyu DIYAAAA!!!!!!
Bas itna hi kehna tha, pilhaal kilye dosto khuda hafiz, agle 10 das saal mein vaapas aoonga, shahrukh ki top 1000 worst movies ka countdown lekar, aur meri zindagi mein aur dukhbhari kahaani lekar aoonga.
PS: I don?t get it if so many people think that shahrukh totally sucks, then why is it that so many people like this idiot, surely it can?t be just the media, doing all the job, can it? I think it is absolutely unfair, to call this donkey the best actor in bollywood, it?s a disgrace to the whole industry, and to the great actors of the past who unlike this guy contributed in different styles of acting such as dilip kumar, amitabh, dharmendra and aamir and even ajay devgan ? who by the way is the most underrated actor of all time, if you ask me the guy is country miles ahead of this repetitive donkey. God!!! Whats ajay got to do to get the credit he deserves, SIGN UP FOR YASH RAJ FILMS, or have an affair with karan johar.
Other bad films ? hey ram
Darr
1-2ka4
the one with salman and madhuri
asoka
chamatkar
englis babu somethin
yeh lamhe jud
