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The Good, The Bad And The Ugly
Jul 26, 2003 05:50 PM 5396 Views
(Updated Jul 27, 2003 03:17 PM)

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Shaadi.com was the first matrimonial site I ever joined. Not only have I been a member for a long time but I am a paid member. I haven't found the girl of my dreams, and am still looking. But does that mean that you don't have the opportunity to meet the person you have been hoping to meet? Of course not! Many sites call themselves a ''No.1 matrimonial site'' but only Shaadi.com is truly that.


What is Shaadi.com?


Shaadi.com touts itself as giving all Indian and south Asian communities worldwide the opportunity to seek, and eventually find their life partner. They provide a secure, safe online site. They implemented the site in 1998. Note that they have near a million members by 2003, and the first Shaadi.com success story (probably married with a mouse in his/her hand) was in mid 1997.


My experiences in a nutshell:


I have enjoyed being a member, and it has definitely been positive. Sometimes the contacts are nice, but I am not attracted. Sometimes I am just not for them. Sometimes we like each other but no ''love connection'', and that is okay. Shaadi like job searches is a numbers thing, and Shaadi.com gives you the opportunity to ''learn about/meet'' many different people.


Quality of contact:


You're setting the criteria, so assuming most are basically honest, you can pick and choose who you want to write back. Over the years, I have seen doctors, lawyers, family law judge, sales executives, police officers, engineers, CPA's and businesswomen from all over the world listed on the site.


Positives:


Obviously you have the opportunity to meet people you wouldn't normally run into. Many people don't want to match with those with whom they work (or have no interest/opportunity in the people at their office/company). Options not important to you can leave blank. As Shaadi.com is a secure site, and your email is kept confidential you have control. None has access to your email address or full name until you feel comfortable giving it to them. Shaadi.com alleviates the work for you, and you can find a potential mate right at your home, or work computer (what your boss doesn't know. . .) I told a good friend about the site, and she firmly told me that she is just looking for someone. But guess what? She met a man, and they have been married for two years now.


Negatives:


People aren't always who they say they are. I suggest you wait a reasonable but not excessive amount of time before meeting. You could fall in like with the person on paper, and maybe even on the phone, but find there is ''zip'' when you meet.


It can be exciting when you see you have an email from Shaadi.com but when you look at the information and/or photo from the person writing, you wonder what they were thinking. They respond to people they are interested in, totally ignoring your criteria. Most people respect your criteria, but there are always those who just think about themselves and their little needs/desires.


How to get started:


Shaadi.com generally offers free membership –i.e listing, searching and contacting for free and it is the best way to see if it is for you. If that is offered, I suggest you try it before joining, to get a feel for it, and if you enjoy it and are comfortable with it, join for a 6 month or longer. You will need to select a username. I suggest you pick one that sounds appealing.


Next you will complete the various sections of the registration. This includes your age, height, weight, location, appearance, religion, whether you drink or smoke and how frequently, your income (this is broken up into ranges, and you can select I'll tell you later if you prefer.


You then move on to your narratives or essays.


These include describing myself, describing my ideal match. I suggest whether you enjoy writing or talking about yourself that you think carefully before completing this, and be honest, open, show a touch of your personality. People who enter, ''blah blah blah'', or don't complete it are doing themselves a disservice. Also, making it too long and drawn out (I was born on a rainy day in Mumbai. My first day of kindergarten. . . and slow forwarding to the present will turn people off also). Write about your favorite type of music, your ideal place to live, whether you are on time, early, late; is your place always clean, your education & company, how you deal with money, spend, save, spend some; save some, etc.


The website:


The site is attractive, intuitive and relatively easy to navigate. The only error messages I've run into over the years have been related to their not retaining my username/password, and therefore having to enter it. It is a minor inconvenience. Very rarely they'll show I have no matches, and my face will fall, but I'll quickly realize they have a temporary problem. These difficulties as noted, are very infrequent.


Search engine:


The search on Shaadi.com is great. You ask for the criteria important to you and they will list them. You can also determine the amount of import of different criteria.


Other options available:


Shaadi.com offers you the chance to edit your profile whenever you want. You can add a photo, and of course this is the best way to get responses. Without a photo, your chances are pretty slim. You can upload your photo from the site, mail it to them or email it, and they have the ability to adjust your photo so that it looks good. Mine is too big, and other sites have distorted it but not Shaadi.com.


Pricing per their current website information:


Shaadi.com subscription packages and prices are as follows:


Subscription Packages




  • 3 months for Rs1000




  • 6 months for Rs 1650




  • 12 months for Rs 2850






Payment accepted:


They accept all major credit cards, debits cards and payment collections in and around, as well as check, money order or online check. In other words, they are very flexible.


Final thoughts and recommendations:


If your friends, mother, Great Aunt know just your type, and your phone is ringing off the hook with quality matches, you probably don't need a matrimonial site, but if you're like me and most other singles, your friends' tastes are different than yours, and this site offers you the opportunity to meet wonderful people you ordinarily wouldn't have a chance to meet. If you are open to meeting someone who lives anywhere you of course will be inundated with responses. I prefer to find someone local to me, and around my age range, similar background, interests etc. If you use caution, and have an open mind I highly recommend you give Shaadi.com a chance. I am giving Shaadi.com 5 stars. It is a high quality, well-established matrimonials site. I wish you the best. Of course, as always, feel free to leave comments with comments/questions.


Thanks for reading!


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