I know this is a bit late to write a review on this, especially since I saw this movie a whole 3 weeks ago, but what the hell, I am writing one anyway.
Right. So I saw this movie with a friend, in the theatre, and I made some observations.
This movie is crap. I did not have high expectations of it in any case, having seen the trailers and dismissed them from my mind as soon as I saw Ayesha takia in them; but I did have a fond hope that maybe, just maybe, the presence of Akshaye Khanna would save the flick. But no – the movie sunk without creating even a bubble. The music is bekaar, to make it worse. Sometimes, when I hate a movie, it can still redeem itself by providing good music but this one lost even that chance.
The main outline of the story – Akshaye Khanna sees Ayesha takia in a theatre ,flips for her [ Why, God, why??? ] and gives her an amazingly slap-your-forehead-and-groan type corny line – “Kya aap ke papa aatankvadi the? Because you’re a bomb.” . Uh-oh. Bad joke.
Even more unbelievable. The lady grins at him like he’s Einstein for having come up with such a brilliant observation. Hero decides he wants to marry her. Heroine’s dad says “ I’ll consent when u’ve got 50 lakhs.” Hero works, works, works for 5 yrs, becoming hugely successful – but this is more important – he also becomes a hypochondriac. He approaches Takia’s dad with the money, dad is delighted, Takia is delighted, hero is delighted, and hero and heroine promptly do the requisite three and a half minute jig to a sachharine love song with an eminently forgettable tune. So hero and heroine are engaged now, and everything’s okay until hero overhears a conversation which his doctor is having over the phone, and misunderstands that he has cancer. Boman Irani plays the doctor. Again. This time he’s Parsi, and he says ‘dikra’ a lot. Du-h. Obviously. In Bollywood, if you play a Parsi doctor, you MUST say ‘dikra’! How else will us mentally challenged cinema goers understand you’re Parsi? Of course, this is just in case we miss the ridiculous skull cap and the English – gujarati slang………..
I mean, the guy is immensely talented, so please stop stereotyping him!
Phew. Glad I got THAT off my chest. Proceeding……..so hero ‘discovers’ he has cancer. So now he promptly sets about trying to offload his girl with the same energy and speed he spent getting her. Hero’s best friend played averagely by Aftab Shivdasani is in love with Ayesha also [ curiouser and curiouser……] Rajpal Yadav plays hero’s friend and colleague, mostly drunk, spouting poetry and dumb jokes – “Agar sab Rupa ka underwear pehnenge toh Rupa kya pehnegi??”
Okay, that was funny! But dumb.
Hero pretends to be a philanderer to madden his girl, and in the process meets Mallika Sherawat. Here I’d like to say something about this lady. I went to the movie with a very bad impression of her, but I was pleasantly surprised. This is my impression, whether or not you ppl agree. She did not do much skin-show in this movie. Her character is actually quite a big role, and though she does not do it justice, I discovered that she has excellent comic timing. She outshines Ayesha Takia by a LARGE margin. Leaves her in the dust. Malika has lots of attitude, a good body, an unusual face and lots of chutzpah. Sounds like a good combination. Only future movies will tell whether I’m right. She also gets to say some wacky lines. Get this - “When I’m good, I’m good. When I’m bad, I’m better!” Truthful, eh?
Anyway, though she does not initially believe in love [ “Only lust, baby……..only lust” ], she falls in love with Akshaye, who is heartily sick of the whole affair, and takes him to her residence in Malaysia. Here he tries to get rid of her, only to be told in no uncertain terms what will happen to him if he dumps her, by Suniel Shetty, Malaysia’s biggest don, who – yes, yes – also happens to be Mallika Sherawat’s obsessively overprotective older brother. Suniel Shetty absolutely steals the show. He also gets to say the dumbest, therefore funniest lines:
“<Bang Bang> Apun anna – chaubees ghante chaukanna.”
After being told by Boman Irani that his eyes are strained:
“Apun ab only atharah ghante chaukanna – chhe ghante soyega.”
Oh, yeah. Gulshan Grover does a dumb cameo as a rival don. They even have a - <yawn> - shootout, when Grover tries to kidnap hero.
Meanwhile, Mallika almost gets hitched to hero.
Meanwhile Takia almost gets hitched to Aftab.
Meanwhile there are lots of painfully unfunny jokes.
Meanwhile hero finds out – finally – that he’s not suffering from cancer; he gatecrashes Takia’s imminent wedding.
Lots of other forgettable and insignificant incidents and sub – incidents before – surpise, surprise! - Takia and Khanna are united – by Aftab and Mallika! That’s right. Turned out ayesha hired them both to get Aftab back, after suspecting that he was not really a philanderer, only masquerading.
Lame.
The End
The Upshot: I am sorely disappointed by Subhash Ghai. He should issue a public apology for inflicting 3 insipid hours of an overweight Takia and a [ Why?!!] loser character like Akshaye on the paying public. The ending sounds dangerously like it’s lifted from Bluffmaster. Also, Rajpal Yadav is wasted. Period.
All right, I admit it. I found lots of the dumb jokes funny. But you have to allow for the fact that we were 2 giggly 16 yr old girls watching this movie – we’d laugh at anything!
AND WHO THE HELL DESIGNED AKSHAYE'S RIDICULOUS WIG??????
