Dear Kektaaji!. Review on Serials produced by Ekta Kapoor

Dear (K)Ektaaji,

I am a struggling script-writer, who is also an avid watcher of your prestigious serials madam! I have three typed and bound scripts with me. If you are interested we can make about 15 serials with these, just tweaking around the stories a bit. I have altered the titles to start with K in keeping with your beliefs. Also the characters will have exotic well-researched names specially taken from Ms. Maneka Gandhi’s book, no ghisa-pita names like Rahul, Pooja and Raj! Let me go ahead and give you the synopses:

Kishmish:

Since you have already made Kesar and Kumkum, let’s call the lead character Kishmish. The self-explanatory title says it all. It’s about a sweet young girl, also heiress to a big fortune, who doesn’t believe in love or marriage up until our Harlequin romance hero arrives. She hates him so much that she wants to marry him for revenge. However our hero is in love with her sister! But “circumstances” force him to marry the heroine.

Then we add the usual twists and turns, death and return, remarriage and reunion so we can keep the janta interested. And as we go along, I have made provisions for more recurring characters to join the circus, err… I mean the serial. To make it truly different, I have set this story up in Singapore, so we can have foreign locales and no one can accuse you of repeating the same themes over and over again.

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to Laadla is totally unintended.

Khajuraho:

Ektaaji, you are a pioneer when it comes to issue-based soap operas. From Tulsi to Kashish, most of your heroines have boldly endorsed widow-remarriage. Raja Ram Mohan Roy (RIP) must be very pleased indeed. That is the one reason why I am pitching this story idea to you.

You would have guessed going by the title itself that the story is about adult relationships, out with unconsummated love stories, bubblegum romances and saas bahu confrontations! Let’s give our viewers some mature content to think about! If you run into trouble with the censors, we will change the title to Kajur, so they won’t have an inkling about the theme!

Koi Yahan Koi Wahan:

KYKW is about twins, mistaken identities and the shenanigans that ensue as a result. The concept is “inspired” by Shakespeare’s ‘Comedy of Errors’ and that Sanjeev Kumar movie Angoor. But unlike the bard’s play, the serial will be a (Greek) tragedy of errors! Two brothers marry two sisters and the story takes off from there. There is also an element of suspense that squeezes in, but I don’t wish to divulge any further details for fear of copyright violation.

Of course, please be happy to know that all the characters in the stories are filthy rich, live in palatial houses, the ladies wear tons of costume jewelry and flashy saris and they all live as a big happy joint family! If you are interested, give me a call we can talk.