Attack of the Bimbos. Review on Saawariya

Have you ever imagined how a movie directed by a 5 year old, who has no experience about the workings of the world emotions etc. but who has access to the best cinematographers, choreographers, decent actors and an unlimited budget, would be like.

Well people look no further than Saawariya - the movie in which Mr. Bhansali allowed the 5 year old in him a free reign.

Let me start with the story inspired from Dostoevsky's white nights. In Dostoevsky's story the lead pair start of as friends with the hero developing feelings for the girl during their time spent together, similarly the girl falls in love with her lodger who is closer to her age through companionship and later a love for books.

Compare this with Bhansali's version in which the pairs, who come across as giggly empty headed beauties, fall in love based on external beauty and external beauty only. The intercations between the pairs(Ranbir & Sonam, Salman & Sonam) is mostly limited to stares. There is no coherent converstation whatsoever between them to actually communicate an attraction beyond looks. Such a superficial understanding of a classic story can happen only with a person who has not experienced the world yet namely a child and hence the 5 year old reference.

The setting is also like the unhindered vision of a 5 year old with all his favourite things in place context be damned. So you have the ventian city with Gondolas and water canals, a lovely bridge, walls with murals, haveli's with architecture inspired from European and Indian influences, cobbled pathways, a windmill and of course a hogwarts Train puffing away. Incidentally in one of the scenes we also see people watching a movie on a screen on the Bridge. The climate here changes from rainy to snowy depending on the mood. It was as if Bhansali said "I want this, that and that and that also" and the understanding producer and indulgent art director chorused "why not" and went about creating the most expensive illogical plastic city with not a vegetation in sight.

The clothes also seem more like the imagination of a child rather than an adult. Therefore the Hero's clothes(though he is supposed to be penniless) ranges from an outfit that resembles something an Italian hero wears to velvet jackets and a Towel(in a song reminiscent of Kajol's mere kwabon mein jo aaye). Sonam's character wears backless choli and ghagra with the same ease she wears flowing salwars though she is supposed to belong to a poor conservative muslim household. Salman's character wears literally what a a dark brooding man would wear dark brooding clothes with kohl lined eyes to emphasize the dark brooding looks. But it is what Rani wears that brings truly the 5 year old reference to fore. Rani wears what hookers ought to wear but never do except in movies. Transparent designer sarees with elaborate hairdo and loud but elegantly done makeup that screams hooker loud and clear.

And finally the characterizations -

Sonam's character in the movie is like one of those giddy headed superficial barbie princess who dosen't think twice about falling in love with the first man she sets her eyes on and shows or conveys no emotions/regret whatsoever at just leaving her old grandmother and eloping. And like any disney princess she is also good at swooning.

Ranbir's character is no less superficial. From his "innocent" demand for milk in a bar to his petulant rollicking about in Zohra segal's house without paying her any rent and flashing to the neighbours, his character is the epitome of self centredness. Only to a child will this behaviour be deemed innocent.

Rani is of course portrayed as this hooker with a heart of Gold and throughout the movie she looks so cheerful and happy so much so that when she cheerfully describes to Zohra segal that renting her body is not that different from renting a house we buy the logic hook line and sinker.

And finally Salman - he remained a mystery throughout the movie. Nothing about him was decipherable throughout the movie and his blank stares didn't make it any easy to understand him or his character better. He remained the dark brooding character in literal and physical sense. talk about transaltion.

I am not going to talk about Zohra Sehgal for the simple reason that she deserves much better than to be commented upon and she was the only person to whom your heart reached out in the movie.

And finally lest I forget the highlight of the movie - Ranbir's towel dance. From flashing to neighbours(in the movie)to revealing taut thighs and some bum, this dance was the most boring and least sensous of any such dances I have ever seen. Hell Kajol's similar number in DDLJ was so full of vivacity and innocent but sensous joie de vivre that this copycat number pales enormously in comparison.

Though I always thought SLB was one of the most overrated director, his Saawariya though still took me by surprise. I had never thought of him capable of such superficiality.