Ratings - the tale of the Diva and beyond. Review on Rating Reviews on MouthShut

Tremendous, exhilarating, fun, rocking and any other word you can help me seek in the obese Webster dictionary. That's how I describe my journey in the Mouthshut rail.

When did review writing get so addictive? Was it the visits of the members & others to what I wrote, their comments or was it the * ratings *?

I feel proud to have received every rating (there's only 4) of honour (in order of preference) - Not Useful, Somewhat Useful, Useful and Very Useful. You could have very well given me a Not Useless, Somewhat Useless, Useless and Very Useless and I would still be flashing my cool Clint Eastwood (or is it Rabri Devi?) smile. Because I am glad that you took the time to read my review, then spend the next few microseconds to decide on a rating and finally take the next 10 seconds or less (depending on your net speed) to pin the badge you feel I deserved.

Lecture Begins (please close the Debonairs and Archie comics)

Topic - Rating Reviews

Anything the lecturer likes to share before his intimidating audience - ya, I'm gonna share just my experiences.

• First things first, I won a MS prize for rating reviews -

Ya, I'm a Contest-O-mania winner. But guys 'n' gals, dont ask me on what criteria they offered me one. And Jasmine (member support executive), where's the prize eh? You better hurry up 'cause I have a valid license for my .50 Caliber Rifle (when I lie, I gotta lie lavishly).

• I am a man of golden heart -

Friends, if you think I'm a su_king marshall who advocates tough love by handing only S.U. or even the N.U. (the two most dreaded ratings in MS) to pathetic reviews, you are wrong. If the review is such a horror that my pet tarantula cries, I dont give a rating at all. I swear on Mallika Sharawat (sigh) that I dont have the guts to give S.U. or N.U. Need more proof? Check out the top right corner of my profile page. I bow deeply to those who can do so. My request to do them - Honey, just dont paste them on my reviews or else I'll bury my graceful neck in the hot Zambian sand.

Hey, take it easy. My only request to all of you - Rate what you truly feel but DO rate.

• Ok, now how do I rate reviews? -

Theoretically, I give a V.U. or a U if the writer has shared his opinion on the product in question.

Practically, I am a little more liberal.

This is what I actually do.

I give a Very Useful rating if -

1. The writer has introduced the product to us (briefly or more) and then shares his opinion on it. Definitely, his or her opinion should be some lines more than just - 'I hate it, it's worser than my ex-beau's nostrils !'

   
   




2. The writer has not introduced the product but has give a long (or brief but not too brief that I can term it 'briefs') and clear description of his opinion on the product.

   
   




3. The writer has views diametrically opposite to what I think on the product. Example - I feel Black movie is classic because......... and he feels Black is a classic rubbish because.........

   
   

As long as he shares his opinion, his differences doesn't matter to me. I value his difference.

I give a Useful rating if -

1. The writer has introduced the product to us but no mention of his opinion.

   
   




2. The writer does not introduce the product or give his opinion on it. Rather, he shares his feelings on the general category that product belongs to. Example - the product is Perks but he goes on and on about what he thinks of chocolates and there's no word on the former.

   
   




3. The writer gives a too short opinion on it (the 'briefs')

   
   

4.The writer talks neither of the product nor his views on the general category that product belongs to. Instead, he gives insightful details on the girls he met at Ladakh!

Ok, I know you dont agree with me on the fourth one. Why do I even give a U rating for such a review? Sigh, that's why the Earth needs more gallant sons of the soil (and gals too) like you. Go ahead, and give them a S.U. or a N.U, I am with you. Or given the choice, give them a Very Useless or Useless rating as I mentioned before.

I give a Somewhat Useful rating if -

I dont do that and You know it.

I give a Not Useful rating if -

I dont do that and You know it (Part II)

So, that's it. Now you know how this Mallu MS member does it. Therefore you go ahead, use your inherent judgement and give an appropriate rating to the reviews you read, including mine (dont blame me if I haunt your dreams)

Lecture is over (back to the girlie mags)

Before I leave, let me share a simple story that may tickle your funny bone (you have any?) -

Once upon a time, on a Valentine's Day, there was this heart-breaking, breath-taking Diva who dressed impeccably and also in standard with the latest fashion (almost nil, in other words). Before she left for the night to have a dinner date with her hunk, she hugged her partially deaf uncle and gazing at his eyes, lovingly asked, ''How do you rate me?''.

The old fella got admitted into the CCU. He is on the mend.

The story's untrue but you dont have to be a Condoleeza Rice to figure out what he heard.

Now feel free to rate my review - Very Useless, Useless, Somewhat Useless and Not Useless and leave me in the dust.

Happy Valentine's Day *