Of Studs and Bimbos. Review on Race

What a lousy weekend this has been for me. First and foremost the weather in Seoul has been dull, rainy and depressing. Then I had to pull out from my friends party. And in order to kill time, I saw something calledRace, and that drove me into even more depression. And when I tried to let it out on MS, this fiasco happens, Egad. Anyway I hope no more fiascos now.

Raceis a movie directed by Abbas Mustan, about 2 Studs, 3 Bimbos and a Bull in a Chinese Shops.

Studs- Bare chested scowling men who own a stud Farm in S. Africa.

Bull in a Chinese Shop- A Detective who has a Chinese moustache.

Bade Stud( Saif Ali Khan)- Name Ranvir.  A cool looking stud but uski Dil like any Bade Bhaiyya . Always thinking about Chotu. Most of the time struts around with buttons half open, baring his chest, sometimes his torso. He is a ruthlessBiziness Man, since he always keeps scowling and growling.

Chote Stud( Akshaye Khanna) -Name Rajiv. Always boozing, sleeping or lazing at horse races.Chi, chi so bad na. Bade Stud always keeps thinking of him, but he is always jealous of him. Woh Kya hua na ki, Chotu also tries to bare his chest, and walk around like Bade Stud, but it looks more like a Gorrilla walking around. So he spends time, drinking, sleeping and scheming to get rid of Bade Stud.

Bimbo 1( Bipasha Basu)- Name Sonia. Supposed to be some model, we are told she has a shady past. She and Bade Stud have a rollicking affair. Yeah they get to roll around in the hay stack.

Bimbo 2( Katrina Kaif)- Name Sofia. She is Bade Stud's secretary and in true Mills & Boon style she always loves her boss. She also imagines a song called "Hold Me, Touch Me, Kiss Me" with Bade Stud, but herthanda thanda cool cool expressions, make sure Bade Stud does not feelGaram Garam.

Bimbo 3( Sameera Reddy)- Name Mini. Is the name because of her minimal dressing or her minimal brains? She is assistant to her fruit loving detective boss. Has really minimal brains, because she cant even recognize that her boss loves more than fruits.

Bull in a China Shop( Anil Kapoor)- Name Detective R.D.Costa. Boss to Bimbo 3, he always keeps spouting Gyaan, that is when he is not trying to patao Bimbo 3. Has a fashion style which is a cross between an ancient Chinese person and typical British side burns. That is why Bull in a China Shop or in Hindi slang, Kabab mein haddi.

The Plot- Bade Stud and Chote Stud are brothers. Bade Stud loves Chote Stud, however Chote Stud is jealous and wants to get rid of Bade Stud, so that he can have Bhaiyya's insurance money. Bimbo 1 wants to marry Bade Stud, Bimbo 2 also wants to marry Bade Stud. However Chote Stud also loves Bimbo 1 and since Bade Stud has option of Bimbo 2, he does Kanya Daan for Bimbo 1.

However Bimbo 1 and Chote Stud are ungrateful, so they bump off Bade Stud. Enter the Dragon now as Bull in China Shop, arrives to spoil the masti, along with his assistant Bimbo 3.

To see what happens in this tale of  Studs, Bimbos and Chinese Bulls, try watching the movie. Directors Abbas Mustan have a good plot, and fairly good actors. But it is ruined with an inconsistent screen play, poor characterization and utterly trite dialogues. Honestly directors are confused whether they want this to be a dark noir kinda thriller or a masala pulp fiction one, and end result is neither.

Too much concentration on coolness quotient- bare chested studs, exotic locations in S.Africa, fast cars, mini skirted bimbettes, slow motion action sequences. But end result, the movie looks more like an advertisement or at best a music video. You really dont care much for the characters. Neither do you emphathize with Akshay Khanna in his scheming, nor do you feel for Saif. Anil tries to be funny, but if the director's idea of humour is Anil putting a hand on Sameera's blouse, when she says I am feeling dhak dhak, well I guess that makes me P.G.Woodehouse. Honestly most of the humour is strictly 90's kind.

Decent performances by Anil, Akshaye and Saif redeem the movie.

Saif does well as Ranvir, but honestly that "Look at me I am so macho" kinda look jars big time.

Akshaye does a role similar to what he did in Humraaz, and is quite good. Anil Kapoor makes the best of a badly written character.

Among the heroines, Katrina needs to take acting classes quick.  Sameera does not need much effort to act dumb, but considering the weight she has put on, she could audition for a role in the Mallu soft porn movies. Bipsdoes a better job among the three, but honestly her lip synch is getting on the nerves.