Statutory Warning : Drinking is.... Review on Quitting Alcohol

Why do people drink? Many people have many excuses. The most common excuse is to forget all worries. I call that escapism. Why cant you be man enough to face your own problems. Remember, you created it in the first place. Other reason is hanging out or company.

If you took all that was told / taught to you in your childhood seriously, there is every likelihood that it was also told / taught to you that drinking was bad. How come you did not listen to that alone? How come you did not listen to advices that asked to keep away from vices, be it drinking, smoking, etc. Think and think hard. All that excuse you are giving are for your own inability to admit that you are doing wrong. Even Veerappan has his justifications, so had Phoolan Devi.

Talking about the ill effects of drinking, all of you know that drinking is harmful to health. You all also know that drinking and driving is'dangerous'.

Enough of serious talk. Now lets have a good laugh. Below I am going to explain you some other dangerous outcomes of drinking.

• The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

  
  




• The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

  
  




• The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your a** kicked.

  
  




• The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

  
  




• The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

  
  




• The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

  
  




• The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

  
  




• The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

  
  




• The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

  
  




• The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

  
  




• The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

  
  




• The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

  
  




• The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

  
  




• The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

  
  




• The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

  
  

I suggest that considering the above everybody quit drinking. Or else you would end up doing something similar to what I did last week.

I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and my wife asked me to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else.

I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task.

I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank.

I then withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.

I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank.

I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank.

I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass.

I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.

When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally I had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank.

I'm not under tha affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep I am. I'm not half as thunk as you might drink. I fool so feelish I don't know who is me; and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.