Sep 08, 2006 10:32 AM
3391 Views
This movie should have been called "There's something about Kirti". Dont know what it is yet, but if I find out, I'll let you know. And then I'll swallow a bullet. Not to get off subject here, but with Cameron Diaz, I can see why everybody would fall for her. But with Kirti "Big A$s" Reddy ?? The subliminal theme in this movie is how to disguise the vast expanse of Ms Reddy's A$s behind loose clothes.
Back to the story. A la "There's something About Mary", Eeesh (played by the above mentioned big a$s), is a woman of everyone's dreams. Men, young and old, fall in love with her the moment they see her. The first guy to fall for her is a rich old guy (Sunil Shetty), who has had erotic dreams about her a$s for many years. He finally sees her and proposes marriage .. just like that. She turns him down, cause she wants to make heart surgery as cheap in India as treatments for cold (no joke .. real dialogue). So he sponsors an all expense paid vacation .. er, education in Scotland.
There she meets Ugly Guy (Aftab Suhasini .. Sandasini .. Soordasini .. something-ini), who falls in love with her .. you got it .. at first sight. Now, Ugly Guy is the son of Lord Bh*dwa of Scotland who lives in this big Manor. He (Lord Bhadwa) is an old friend of Big-A$s's father. So she gets to live in a giant mansion. Not your average exchange student, what ??
In the meantime, Old Guy is turning psycho, gulping brandy and sucking on a cigar like a prison btch sucks on dik. Entry time for the third guy .. Model Guy, who is hired by Old Guy to convince Big-A$s to marry Old Guy. Dont ask how .. just go with it, OK. So Model Guy and a sidekick make their way to Scotland. They arrange for several accidental meetings with Big A$s, although it was unnecessary. You see, 78% of the population of Scotland was standing next to Big A$s .. yes, it was that big. Inevitably, Big A$s falls for Model Guy.
So Model Guy creates nafrat for himself in Big A$s' dil, and she agrees to marry Ugly Guy (this was a match made in heaven). And then some more melodrama .. blah blah .. till the no surprise ending .. Rule of Indian Cinema .. if you are a major actor in a movie, you either die, or get a girl in the end. So Model Guy gets Big A$s, and in the last 30 seconds Ugly Guy and Old Guy also get chicks .. sheeeeeesh. End of Story (or lack thereof).
Time for commentary .. first the good points .. Model Guy. Although he keeps striking model poses through the whole movie, he wasnt bad for a first film. Music was decent. Thats about it.
On the bad side .. where do I begin ? Ms Reddy is about as appealing as Lalita Pawar on a bad hair day. Sunil Shetty, please stop ending all your sentences in "yeah" ? You're not a New Yorker. Aftab, if your pop is the rich and powerful Lord Bh*dwa, cant he afford a plastic surgery for you? It looks like you have 3 lips. Directorji, your movie has more holes and loose ends than a Pakistani sweater. Oh, and did I mention, that Scotland is such a poor place, they have only one restaurant, and one bank ?
Oh well .. maybe the next movie I see will be better.
