“Often you must have wondered, Who are we? Why are we here? What do we do? Where do we come from? Why are our photographs all over Page 3?”
“And now Why do we have a full-fledged TV show dedicated to us which goes by the name ~~Night Out~~ at NDTV 24x7? For the sake of ease you may refer to us as Ms. Page 3 & Mr. Page 3”
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Who are we?
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~ Ms. Page 3~
I can be any of the following:- I’m a Ms India Runner Up No. 12 whom mostly nobody knew, and whoever knew to begin with, have forgotten by now. Or I may be an anorexic, anemic ramp walker trying to pass off my horrendous looks as a hi-fashion statement and want all women to emulate me. In a Chennai disc, I swirl in my low waist saaree. In a Bombay fashion event I air kiss all and sundry. Otherwise I simply get drunk in a Delhi farmhouse party. Or I may even be a diamond dripping, over made up hag, married to a rich industrialist with whose money I throw parties, and invite NDTV 24 X 7 to cover them in Night Out.”
~ Mr.Page 3~
I am either a ramp walker, a flop film struggler desperate to get noticed, or a kid of a rich industrialist out to pour daddy’s money, or an oh-so witty VJ. I could also be a Manhunt Runner Up No 19. I am all muscles and have by now achieved an advanced state of androgyny and expect all other men to embrace the same. In Bombay, at a new booze brand launch, I go wine quaffing and pout between sips. In Calcutta’s latest sheesha bar you can catch me choking on a sheesha, of course I was present at it’s opening night too. Whoever I am, I’m doing all this in Night Out
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What do we do
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~ Ms Page 3 and Mr. Page 3:
“Life is not all hunky dory for us. We are excruciatingly overworked. We have to spend half our day getting prepared to look good for these parties and the other half networking to get invited to them. It’s a tough job, but hey, somebody has got to do it.”
“In Night Out what may appear like veritable wannabes clowning away on dance floors are actually our well-thought of and rehearsed dance moves.”
“We firmly believe we are role models to be emulated. We corner media space so that we can command everybody to greedily lap up all that we portray.”
“Yes, we haven’t anything in common with the real world who live their middle class lives. We want them to fall head over heels in love with rotten fare like Night Out”
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What do we talk about in Night Out?
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Our talks are profound, all encompassing, and deeply intelligent. Catch our lines in Night Out that go:-
~~ “We love to Party.”
~~ “I think Partying is a great idea.”
~~ “We like going to Chill Out Places.”
~~ “Man! There is a lot of energy in this Party.”
~~ “Dude, this Party is rocking.”
~~ “Here I was…Like at the airport and stuff?? Off to Milan!! And… and I get like dragged…. dragged to this Party instead?? I tell you this is Insane!! Just Insane!!”
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Ms. Page 3: We try to look and act much younger than our biological age
Mr. Page 3: And at times lower than our mental age too
Ms. Page 3: We crave fame, want our names to remain in circulation, thank god for Night Out. Look! I have the latest tints on my hair.
Mr. Page 3: Look! Me too.
Ms. Page 3: My dressing table creaks under the weight of at least 48 skin products and bathroom shelves hold 39 hair products
Mr. Page 3: Ditto mine, just make that 54 skin products for me.
~Ms Page 3 and Mr. Page 3:
“In this show we hold fervent discussions on who are the Czars and Czarinas of style, which is the party that never sleeps, which is the most happening nightclub. Since we take our partying very seriously, we don’t know why our programme Night Out got pushed to the ungodly hour of 11.30 pm. We deserve prime time!”
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Bye Ms Page 3 and Mr Page 3, it was not nice meeting you! I was blissfully unaware of your programme till I saw its promos, me and my cousin bro. couldn’t resist watching it for a week during its telecast from Mondays to Thursdays, with the intention of having an uproarious laugh.
It is a scummy and sissy show made up of, and about terrifyingly boring people collectively known as Page 3 socialites. Watch their antics while you roll with helpless laughter.
Besides there is a coverage of fashion shows, interviews with people related to this line of work, parties, weddings, booze launches, info on discotheques of each city in India and the socialites that populate them. To give it a falsely rounded off appearance, they throw in a dash of English movie clips, lest someone dismiss it as purely a Socialite Circus.
Watch it for a laugh or two now and then, and I’m also sure nobody has hassles with such a lifestyle at all, but pray what is the point in televising it and putting it up on satellite broadcast. The very reason for it all?
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Besides all mentioned above, I caught an episode where Nina Pillai (Who is she anyway, to begin with? Is she even relevant at all??) throwing a party for around 60 of her camera-hungry friends and all the press cameramen were there. The party guests, both male and female, stood dead drunk in front of cameras, sloppily kissed Nina’s cheeks professing their undying friendship to her and singing eulogies of what a great friend and hostess she is. Right into the camera.
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Nothing gets more dreadful than this!
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