An Extra-Sweet No-No. Review on Nestle Milkmaid Squeezy

It is not very difficult to take an immediate dislike to Nestle Milkmaid Squeezy, an immediate repulsion to this sticky sweet flavored milky concoction packed in a tube, and I did exactly that.

Now to elaborate why:-

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~1~ Because I’m not a kid

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I may still, in privacy, eat cream biscuits by opening them, licking up the cream and then throwing away the actual biscuit.

I may still, in evil moments, bolt my neighbors' doors from outside , ring their doorbell and run away.

But all that certainly does not mean I’m a kid. Since Nestle Milkmaid Squeezy is a product is mostly for kids, I do not fall into the right consumer category to begin with.

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~2~ Had I been a kid, I still have had my reservations

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I may have a sweet tooth. I may like milk and its derived products. But had I been a kid I’d have rather preferred to have the gazillion other snack stuff available for kids instead of this icky mess.

I even liked Nestle Milkmaid in the tin, the original mother product (which incidentally is a fantastic milk replacement in tea, besides being a great mithai maker), but this irredeemable offspring - Nestle Milkmaid Squeezy seems to defy any semblance of utility, practicality. It is available in a soft squeeze tube, unflavoured and is also with Strawberry and Mango flavours.

These sticky sweet sandwich spreads besides tasting like nothing fit for human consumption are also fattening and unhealthy. This product is just sugar all the way and its regular consumption is only a surefire way of making your kid a fat tub of lard. And nowadays most kids I meet, even those below age 10, talk seriously of being in perfect physical shape and with muscles like Hritik Roshan’s.

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~3~ I can’t gather any possible use to it

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Now tell me what is it that is supposed to be done with a thick, viscous milky paste packed in a tube? (Actually a lot can be done, but then of course this is not an adult content site)

As you try to fathom how it is to be consumed, or even what is to be done with it, the label tries its best to justify the product and suggests some bizarre methods for its consumption. For starters its pack information wants you to eat Nestle Milkmaid Squeezy as a topping on bread. Er.. Strawberry Milky paste on bread? Mango Milky paste on a biscuit? Or on a roti/paratha, ew, ew, ew. Incidentally, you are supposed to make zigzag patterns of it on these items, at least that’s what the pack conveys.

You could also have it as a topping on fruits, but really no fruit has been that mean to me yet that I treat them with such disdain.

The only thing is lends itself to is making some kind of mildly satisfactory milkshakes.

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Nestle Milkmaid Squeezy is being available as regular (200 gm), and in strawberry and mango flavors(150 gm), priced at Rs 28 each.

Very often food companies launch such ill-thought of products and try to push it to kids as a faddish snack. Nestle Milkmaid Squeezy is exactly that and like all others of its ilk would most probably die a premature death and be eased out of the market.

And though the pack says – “Best consumed Six Months from Manufacture”. I’d rather have it read “Best Never Consumed”

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