How to get rid of Maddy!. Review on My Ten Least Favorite Foods

I could never understand the purpose of this topic on Mouthshut. I mean, how will it help you to know what Maddy hates? MS member Bhavna wrote a review on this topic, and while commenting on that review, it struck me that perhaps it is not a bad idea after all! At least you folks will know what not to cook when Maddy visits your house. Or on the flipside, what to feed me to ensure that I do not visit you again! So here goes.....

Lady Finger(Bhendi)

Such an attractive name, and such a monster! Seems like my wife.(Her name is Hemali. I later realized that it was Hema Lee, and the name claimed an association with the fighting techniques of Bruce Lee.) Anyway, I have no choice but to subject my taste buds to this highly uneatable eatable, as it is my wife's favourite vegetable. I wonder how she likes the exact things I hate!

Karela

They say that Karela juice is a health drink! Well, looking at my body's circumference, I really need to reduce. So, Maddy, you better stay away from health drinks! Point taken. Thank you!

As for the Karela vegetable, I always end up with some hostess who prides herself over her style of making karela. Everywhere I go, the lady of the house says- Try karela the way I make. It's not at all bitter. Well, I am yet to come across a karela which is not bitter. And still, like a good guest, I have to eat and laud her for her great cooking sense.

Shepu

I don't know what you call this in English. But it is a green vegetable. It's not that I do not like green vegetables. I love them. But shepu is something horrible. I would not drink the nectar if they put shepu in it.(Maddy.....Gods must be crazy to offer you nectar....)

Kanthal

This is something that came in my life after I married. It looks like a swollen tondli, but has some hard seeds inside it. It is the worse torture my wife can do on me! And guess what...she does!

Plain Milk

I have always hated plain milk. The smell itself is enough for me to puke. On other thoughts, Milk is like my neighbour. I hate him when he is alone. But I really look forward to meet him on his morning walks, when his sweet niece is with him.(Ok, now don't get any ideas! The niece is just a 3-year old). Similarly, I like milk when it comes along with my morning tea, or in the soup, or better still, with my yearly holi bhaang. (For non-Indians, Holi is a festival in India, and is not a typo for Holy. Bhaang enthusiasts, however, would like to believe it as holy bhaang.)

Bananas

As Bhavna pointed out in her review, bananas are fruits, and I have no objections till it remains in its original form. My objection is when it crosses its domain and enters the world of vegetables. I believe that it is originally a Kerala idea.(No, not Karela! Karela looks ugly, Kerala is beautiful). In fact, I hate this concept of kela ka bhaaji as much as I love the Kerala papad.

Tea Masala

The masala I am talking about is the one Gujratis put in the tea. And me being the son-in-law of the gujrati community, you can imagine the amount of tea masala that must have passed through my digestive system. Honestly, I believe that this masala, instead of enhancing the flavour, kills the aroma of the tea leaves.

Kapura(in chicken)

(Strict vegetarians, please skip this section)

In case you cannot place this, I am talking about this rubber-like part of chicken which looks like the liver. And as I love liver, I always get fooled into having this in my plate. In my list of The parts of Chicken I hate to eat, the kapura wins by an edge to the neck of the chicken.

Varan

This is a typical Maharashtrian preparation, and is generally served with rice in a typical Maharashtrian marriage. The folks from interior Maharashtra swear by it. But somehow, I could never bring myself to enjoy it. Give me normal daal, anytime.

Cornflakes with tea

I love cornflakes! I like tea! But together, it just doesn't appeal me. It's like this. Everyone likes the word wife.(Except the enlightened ones like me!) Everybody likes the word mother. Now try the term wife's mother. God save me!

Sweets

Surprised? But I really hate sweets. The only two sweets I really relish are kaju katli and naariyal vadi, that too, the one my aunt prepares. Otherwise, sweets are a no-no.

After all, your Maddy is sweet enough! Isn't it?