Jan 15, 2007 07:29 PM
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I have a sinking feeling this review is not going to set well with most of you. Oh well....A dozen sleepless nights in a row trying to pacify mad clients who always seem to have the knack to pick the worst of your work... has prompted me to share this review (ahem) with you. In other words, the heartache and most of all, the heartburn has been the inspiration behind this literary masterpiece (ahem). It's brimming with vital information that will surely benefit lives and save the planet from extinction.
So read it, use all the practical information that it contains and adopt this.... Anyway, I'm going to embark on my gastronomical extravaganza and enlighten all of you about my culinary preferences (my english teacher would be proud of me... I finally used words that are more than 4 letters long). I must warn you all, I had several litres of red bull the night before and its still in my blood stream and if this review goes all over the place just remember... dont drink red bull and write reviews...
That must be the longest, most boring, introduction to anything..Vegetarians - i.e. people who only eat helpless, defenceless veggies and greens, root, shoot and fruit - have much lesser food to pick from. I'm not going to be biased and pop meat and fish and eggs and stuff in this list cos they aren't part of my diet anyway. Instead, here are some things I would stay away from even if I just came out of a hunger strike...
10 - Ladies Finger aka Okra: **So named cos it bears a striking resemblance to the digits on a lady's hands... if cooked properly, its bearable... if messed up it can be used as a fevicol subtitute. Okra fried is way better than Okra sauteed, stewed, mashed, bashed, trashed and... er... you get the point
09 - Baingan aka Eggplant: ** is neither an egg... nor a plant.. its a purple vegetable that looks like a proboscis monkey's nose. Like the aforementioned veggie, this can also go either way... if cooked good, its ok... if messed up, you'll have heart and pot burn for a few days...
08 - Jackfruit and its cousin the Durian: ** This isn't a question of these being eatable... they can be eatable... but whether your poor nose can take the pre-munch suffering is the question. Available only at SMELLect stores.
07 - Chilies: ** I CANT STOMACH THEM!!! They hurt, they burn, they are painful...
06 - Mysore Pak: ** Somehow... the texture of the darn thing makes me feel like I swallowed sand soaked in sugar syrup for several years.
05 - Soya milk: **Milk isn't my cup of tea... I mean... Milk isn't something I chug in... Soya milk (unless you bombard it with fruit or chocolate) can be rather testing on those little things called taste buds. Sure, its packed with proteins and other natural goodies but try to drink a litre in a sitting. There's a good chance its going to come out of your nose.
04 - Raw capsicum: ** I know you're probably wondering what's wrong with me. I must have picked several fan favourites here. Raw capsicum to me, is like eating the plastic wrap that things come in, with a dash of watered chili sauce added to it.
03 - Shredded Wheat: **Packed with fibre and other nutrients... wonder why nature left the flavour out of the equation.
02 - Chikoos: ** Loathe them. Very nutritious. Eating them is like changing diapers for the first time. Something Icky is gonna get stuck to you and its not bound to taste all that good either.
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That's the list. Now go ahead... make me regret posting this.
Finis
