May 21, 2003 01:34 PM
4785 Views
(Updated May 21, 2003 01:40 PM)
Ever since I was a kid, I was drilled with ‘Roti, Kapda and Makaan’ being the most basic and fundamental needs of the human race. When I look at myself in the mirror, it reminds me that I too am part of this Race, and therefore Roti, Kapda and Makaan becomes a qualifying condition for me too.
While my Dad has organized for the Makaan, Kapda I take care based on my choices, Roti is where the problems stem from. We have the services of a cook in our house, and what she dishes on a given day, probably depends on the waxing and waning of the Moon. Not sure if this is coincidence, but she serves excellent dishes on Full Moon Days. On a No Moon Day, Im much worse than a starving stray dog. But this atleast gives me an opportunity to bunk my food at home, and enjoy delicacies of my choice.
The problem is when the moon is round about Crescent. The food quality varies everyday, and the recipes I have highlighted below are mostly served when the Moon has lost its Round. My 10 most Whoooooaaaaaa food items , that I would like to delete from the recipe books:
Paneer - Slimy, tasteless, but manages to hack everybody's attention, and a dish which has Paneer sleeping on it is a case of abhorrence for me.
Mushroom - Another tasteless vegetable (is it?) which finds itself as a topping, including my favorite pizzas. Didn't somebody educate those chefs that Mushroom is better off in the Gardens than on top of a Pizza?
Lady's finger - First I would like to find out who named this absolutely yucky vegetable with such a delicate, romantic, emotive name. And what a contrast in emotions when it comes to the actual Lady's finger and the namesake vegetable.
Karela - This one mostly gets served on the No Moon Day. And on those days, I would be as far as my legs could take away from home. And very aptly this yummy-for-some, yucky-for-some vegetable reminds of porcupine.
Spinach - Probably many would favor this. Popeye derives his super strength from Spinach. Unfortunately for me its SHEEnach. Probably its got to do with the way my cook treats spinach. Because it's a different story that I freak out on Sarson Ka Saag, which is not very far away from Spinach, when I visit a typical Punjabi Cuisine serving hotel. And again I find Methi very irritating. Spinach and Methi makes me feel like a depressed cow, masticating the left overs from a green field.
Brinjal - This really gets on my nerves and till date manages to inflict me psychologically. Nothing in this vegetable seems right - the shape, the color, the contours, the interiors and when cooked it reminds me of Fish, which has fed on all the filth and dirt in the Indian Ocean.
Tinda - Sorry im not able to give the English Name. But whoever discovered this, must definitely have been a Sadist par excellence. When cut vertically and cooked, the served vegetable resemble a cockroach chopped of the antennas and legs. That's enough for me to discard this.
Suran - Think its called Yam. When I look at this vegetable it creates a hallucination of me being the previous century, holding a vegetable which has neither the looks, nor the color, nor the smell, something which looks very earthern, as though dug from abysmal depths. And to think I got to eat it ..Save ME.
Snake Gourd - The name itself forms a very potential case for detesting this. For the ones who brave to go ahead and cook, it's a question of time, how long can you keep away from nauseating.
Vegetable Soup - A Grand Finale, as it probably has the nerves to put most of the above repellers in one blow, aimlessly floating in the hot water, probably each trying to quip the other in the race for the most hated vegetable.
I found writing this review equally difficult as consuming these .
