Not my cuppa of Tea. Review on My Ten Least Favorite Foods

Me too….

Recently there has been a spate of write-ups on this topic – My Ten Least Favorite Foods – what started of as a tough topic to write on has suddenly found favor for members to say “Me too…”

Theorem # 1: A way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

Corollary # 1: A way to torture me is an invitation to a ten course meal with the following items.

Here goes……

# 1. Cheese:

Simply put, cheese stinks. I am not talking about the neatly packaged ones from the likes of Kraft, but those round, thick and heavy blobs. I avoid the cheese aisle at the super market. This is a delicacy in a French Restaurant – at the end of a typical meal – a tray bearing about 40 / 50 varieties of stinking pieces of cheese are brought on for one to choose. This is when I make a temporary exit from the table on one pretext or the other and return back after everybody on the table has finished choosing and eating the cheese. Moreover, I have become allergic to the word “say cheese” while taking photos and end up frowning.

# 2. Kiwi:

This fruit is all hairy on the outside and green and slimy in the inside. Need I say more. It always reminds me of a disguised martian creature waiting to attack and overtake the human race. Hopefully my fears are unfounded.

# 3. Sweet Pickle:

According to me a pickle – be it mango, lime or whatever should be Hot or Extra Hot. What is with adding sugar or “jaggery” into pickles – then it should be called as jams or sauces. Sorry – no sweet pickle for me.

# 4. Water Melon:

This is one messy fruit / vegetable / thing. According to me, this is almost 90% water and 9% seeds. If I wanted water, I would drink water and not eat this messy fruit. With the seedless variety, the water content touches 99%.

# 5. Caviar:

This is supposed to be a delicacy and very expensive. Brown / black fish eggs – salty and slimy – to be spread on crackers. They look like rotten “sabudana” (I do not know the equivalent English word). These are served as appetizers during cocktails.

# 6. Cuttle Fish:

I refer to them as the non-printable characters. Was first exposed to these characters in Singapore. Every hawker – majority of the food is eaten in open hawker stalls – insists on putting some of these in all preparations including vegetable fried rice. Got tired of telling them so and resorted to manually removing these obnoxious looking pieces which look like a mini-octopus.

# 7. Lobster

While holidaying in Maine (famous for its Lobsters), noticed that there are a lot a wayside cabins which sell fresh lobster of a high quality and at a reasonable price. Armed with a nutcracker and a small hammer, it is an art to crack open these crustaceans. I tasted a wee bit and vowed never to ingest it again. Sorry to all those members, who relish this delicacy.

# 8. Mussels:

I have not eaten them and do not intend to. Somehow the sight of it is unappealing. Small pieces of something which is housed in a shell is boiled and steamed. A delicacy in any sea-food restaurant.

# 9. Karela:

This is not an anagram for ''Kerala'' – god’s own country. Karela which is bitter gourd is supposed to help the activity of the neurons in the brain and good for memory retention. The skin of this vegetable reminds me of a reptile like a chameleon or a lizard.I prefer to be a dimwit rather than torture myself my eating this one.

# 10. Mango:

Here I am referring to the ripe golden yellow ones and not the raw green ones. I know, many of you would think it is strange to not like this ''king of fruits''. Be it the best of the breed from Ratnagiri like the Aapus or the ones from the south - Bangaripilli – I cannot just bring myself to taste and relish this fruit. I have got used to living with those pitiful stares when I say I do not like mangoes.

Just thinking about these ten items has ruined my appetite. The only way I will get back my appetite is by reading your comments.

Acknowledgement: Thanks to you - Megha, Vivek and Missy for inspiring me to pen this one.