''Kitna bhav khayegi? I hope you realise that you are not transparent.''
My legs struck hers. She leaned backwards. I leaned forward. My legs struck her again, and I bent in such a way that my lips touched her back.
In Bambaiyaa lingo, mein chance maar raha tha ... in front of fifty students and a teacher. After all, it was my Biology examination and I was chancing my luck and trying to copy a few answers ... Pervert! What on earth were you thinking ?!
Aah, Biology! I share a love-hate relationship with this subject. I love to hate it. For God's sake, why on earth should I care how a rat reproduces ?! It's the rat's personal life, why should I intrude upon it?
My plight is so sorry in this subject that the other day, I answered in class that the nervous system consists of the spinal cord and nerves. I believed that I didn't need to mention 'brain' for I do not possess one ...
Last month, in my Biology practicals, we were being taught a chapter which was written in English but sounded Greek to me - 'Sexual Reproduction In Angiosperms'. The teacher said, ''Today, we will perform the practicals related to the chapter 'Sexual Reproduction In Angiosperms'. I couldn't believe my luck and dashed across the laboratory towards this girl whom I had the hots for.
''So ... should we get started?'' I asked. She raised an eyebrow and had a confused expression on her face. I put my arms around her and said, ''Oh come on, now don't act like an Indian bahu, we haven't married as yet. The teacher just gave all of us the liberty to perform the practical aspect of sexual reproduction!''
Two slaps later, I realised that we humans are not a sub-division of angiosperms ...
By now, you must have realized how proficient I am at this subject. Seriously, is there anyone who is worse than me in Biology? Oh yes, there is. Somebody called Munnabhai MBBS!
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Munnabhai MBBS is a wacky tale about a bhai (Sanjay Dutt in the title role) who has no bhai-behen i.e. a small-time goon. For a number of years, he puts on a façade of being a successful physician to please his simpleton parents (Sunil Dutt & Rohini Hattangadi). The party is spoilt by Dr. J. Asthana (Boman Irani) who exposes Munna and leaves his parents shell-shocked and heart-broken. The indignant Munna who cannot bear to see his father depressed, decides to take revenge by creating havoc in Dr. Asthana's medical college ... by taking admission as a first year medical student! The result is a hilarious comic caper.
It's strange that established directors nowadays are dishing out commercials of Pass Pass in the guise of films or trying to emulate Warner & Bros. by creating animated parrots. The responsibility of delivering good cinema is instead taken up by debutant directors - Farhan Akhtar, Sujoy Ghosh and now Rajkumar Hirani.
I have always maintained that it helps if the story, script, screenplay and direction are managed by the same person. Hirani pens an original tale, and his interpretation of this tale is wacky, to say the least.
The film has a distinct Bambaiyaa flavour and non-Bombayites may not be able to catch certain punch-lines. Inspite of its regional flavour, Munnabhai MBBS appeals to one and all. The sheer conviction with which this movie has been crafted is commendable. The pace is breezy, although it tends to meander in the second half. The dialogues are laced with pure and clean humor - so David Dhawan khatiyas or Kal Ho Na Ho 'halls' and 'Cokes' have no place in the film. Simultaneously, it's replete with poignancy and emotions galore. Some of the portions do tend to get a little too preachy, but don't worry, this is no Ekta Kapoor sabun or soap which goes on and on about morals and values, as if India contains only scoundrels and rogues.
As the title suggests, the film is based in a medical college and the depiction is convincing. So, we have the usual cases of freshers subject to ragging (a hilarious sequence), classes conducted by the Dean and all kinds of students, including the bespectacled, oily-haired geeks.
Scenes to watch out for include Munna's first lecture and the scene wherein Munna goes to Dr. Asthana's house and apologizes.
The music of the film is the only blemish. One of the best flicks of 2K+3 is guilty of some of the worst songs in the past decade. Others may argue that the songs and lyrics are in sync with the characterizations, but in my opinion, the songs seriously hamper the pace of the movie. These patience-testing screams (they aren't worthy of the term 'songs'!) surface when you least expect them. The only hummable song is the item song 'Dekh Le' which is sung with aplomb by Sunidhi Chauhan. Surprisingly, the item song actually does its fair bit to carry the story forward while the others are just leak-breaks! 'Chhan Chhan' is also a decent number, but it suddenly springs up in a game of carrom!
Sanjay Dutt breezes through his role. Although he has played such roles quite often, this one is truly different - for here is a rustic goon, who has a humane side to him. He displays a great sense of comic timing and walks away with laurels galore.
For the first time, Gracy Singh lives up to her name. I had labelled her 'disgraceful' after Lagaan and Armaan, but in this film, she not only looks alright, but acts well too. The role may not be Herculean, but this girl has improved by miles.
Arshad Warsi has a splendid sense of comic timing. The only unconvincing aspect about his portrayal of Circuit is that he does not conduct electricity ...
Jimmy Shergill makes a special appearance and although he acts well, the SRK hangover is still apparent, though the degree is much lesser than his previous films.
Sunil Dutt and Rohini Hattangadi do a decent job.
The chap who played SRK's friend in Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa and the distraught lawyer in Jhankaar Beats is back with another fine performance. The way he is used by Munnabhai is simply hilarious.
But, the show is stolen by the chap who hails from Bome - Boman Irani (If people from Rome are called Romans, Boman refers to someone from Bome!). After playing the wacky psychopath who detests smoking in Darna Mana Hai, Boman is back with an equally wacky role and an equally brilliant performance. His laughter therapy is a riot. A special mention must be made of his dialogue delivery, which is simply brilliant. He has a booming, commanding voice, which suits his role, yet the manner in which his voice quivers when he is excited or angry, is simply magnificent.
''I pity him ... magar ... boyfriend bole to ?!''
''Woh apne area ka bhai hai! Brother!''
''Mind you language, what's 'le aayla' for God's sake?''
''Mein uski vaat laga doonga, God, what am I saying? He he he!''
All in all, Munnabhai is one of the best flicks to have hit the silver screens since a long time. Although it may not fare brilliantly at the award ceremonies due to stiff competition and a single word called 'rigging', you must not miss this one! After all, it helps poor souls like me to tolerate Biology ...
''Aah ... where was I? The testes of a rat ...''
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Those who do not comment will be gifted a Biology textbook!
