A disaster survey. Review on Movies, magic, and success of Karan Johar

An extensive survey has been conducted after People have watched Karan Johar movies. The polls have been have been statistically compiled and the observations have been documented for future studies into the causes of brain damages and behavioral defects. People of all age groups were involved in the survey.

So far, it seems he has made 3 movies though the third movie wasn?t his technically, his signature idiosyncrasy was written all over it. Fearing impending human disasters, scientists in India are putting their brains together to find an antidote before another disaster strikes. They are using this documented case study as a checklist for the symptoms details of which are listed below. Though the study is inconclusive it includes the beneficial and adverse effects of KJ movies.

1> For Every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Newton?s? third law has been proved yet again when people watched K3G (Kabhi Kushi Kabhi Gham). When the characters on the screen were crying, audience were roaring in laughter and when the cast was supposedly happy audience were coiling in pain.

2> Natural Disaster

The theaters where Kj movies were played have been declared as flood zones and the losses incurred were paid by the taxpayers in the name of tickets.

3> Serious health risk

A certain character in one of Kj?s movies called Poo is said to have induced projectile vomiting. The same character has been the cause of other symptoms such as insomnia and EWO(eyes wide open) from watching her attire. Audience has also been suffering from severe ear problems and loss of hearing. Studies have indicated that this has been the result of roles played by Mrs. Kajol.

4> Sports

Numerous (boy) kids have been signing up for basketball at their schools. They are said to have been insisting on playing with girls and that girls keep their mid regions bare. Though not evident at first it was later known from their winning streak that they have been indulging in cheating by touching the mid regions of girls.

5> Religion

According to the Hindu holy books, a certain prani (life form) who has suffered enough attains Moksha (freedom from reincarnation) in this life only. Sadhus (holy men) are said to be advising people to watch Kj movies as they were agony and suffering enough to attain early moksha.

6> Homosexuality.

Several young men are said to make their mothers fear that they are Gay after dressing in chunaris and mouthing some word ?kaaantabheeenn? in order to get their mothers send them to strip clubs.

7>Feminism

Feminists have taken a back seat as they are at a loss that all their efforts all these years was a waste as a teenage girls have come up with this new rule ?If you are in love with a guy wear short clothes and be a tomboy and overnight kill your personality and wear pativratha attire ? Guys will be drooling all over you?,

8> Crime Rate

Many FIR?s have been registered in local police stations by mothers that some goon is trying to ransack their daughter?s marriage. The police were unable to take any action as all the goons had the same name ?RAHUL?.

9> Bankruptcy

Several middle class families have filed bankruptcy as they have been living in opulence just like in Kj's movies.

10>Foreign policy

NRI?s are singing indian national anthem at parties and are insisting that foreigners sing along too.The foreigners do know the languages of india without ever being there and sing the Indian nation anthem fluently.This miracle has caused quite a furor.

11> Public speaking

It has been noticed that normally shy and inarticulate audience is said to stand up and shout out loud ''i can't take this anymore'' or 'Isn't he dead yet'' infront of a theatre full of people.

Theories not yet scientifically proved

1> If you are in love with 2 girls simultaneously, dump the tomboy and marry the sati savithri as she is bound to die soon and you can marry the tomboy later.

2> Single fathers are bound to raise their kids as their replicas, in this case painful and unbearable.

3> When wishing upon a star, a guy?s wishes are granted first than the girl?s.

4> You can reserve items, girlfriends etc. for your next life in this life itself.

5> Drinking and dancing in a bar will not cause any harm to a heart patient but dancing with friends does.

6> There are only a few sects of people in India (kapoors, kapurs, and singhanis) who are cherished and all other sects are to be ridiculed for ex: Gujjus..