I TRUST ...So I am. Review on MouthShut Trusted Circle

A person who trusts no one can't be trusted.

• Jerome Blattner

Writing about trust list can be a little tricky; it’s a touchy issue for sure; Then why this review? Well there is a reason for it.

I recently received a M2M asking me to add the person who sent it to my trust list. “What audacity?” was what I thought when I first read the mail. I thought I should make known my views on this.

General thoughts on Trust:

Human beings are social animals. We live in societies. To be more precise we live in well defined communities within societies. Often this sense of community and oneness that we feel for some people around us, leads us to problems with those living as a part of another community. Ironical as it may sound, the very basic need for security, comfort and being recognized as a part of a community, at times ends up being the reason for lack of security and comfort. This in my opinion is the root cause for all the violence, hatred and tension we see in real life caused in the name of religion, race, creed, nationality etc.

But then does this make us shun making our own communities, does it stop us from craving for our own identity, does it curb our natural instincts to form a friends circle, the answer in my opinion is an emphatic NO. Now coming to the virtual world, MS is a society, a small one compared to various virtual societies that exist in this world, but still a society. It’s a society made up of people from various parts of the real World - The World that’s divided by geographic, religious, cultural and linguistic differences. It should (ideally) be made of people, who have set aside their differences (at least for the time they are on MS) and have come together to satisfy themselves by satisfying others - people who share their passion for writing, reading and making their opinions known. People who want to express themselves and maybe make a difference.

{Some people call MS, a consumer forum, which I doubt it is; a consumer forum should be able to redress consumer problems, which is sadly a feature that has not yet been added to MS. I will call it a people 2 people portal. They say you should learn from your mistakes. I guess if you are able to learn from others mistakes then there is nothing like that. That’s exactly what MS enables you to do. It’s a place where people share their concerns and appreciation for something, which at its best may help form an opinion about that thing another person’s mind.}

Now with this kind of a background, I guess any regular member at MS is trust worthy. Anyone who is out there and wants to make a genuine contribution to this world is trustworthy. Anyone who feels that “I have been cheated but I will not let another person be cheated like me” or “I have enjoyed this and I want more people to share this joy” is in my opinion trustworthy. Then why have a trust list….? That is exactly what I felt when I was new at MS and I still have not made up my mind as to if there should be such a list or not. More importantly should it be called a trust list? But then I have a trust list, I wont call it my trust list though, because I trust most members on MS. My list is actually a list of my friends or more importantly members whom I genuinely respect.

My Trust List:

• Frank Crane

Call it insecurity or survival instincts, when I joined MS, I added some members to my trust list. Most of them were people who took me into their list first and I was just reciprocating. Call me selfish, but as I grew more confident on MS, I started editing my list to make it more meaningful. I left out people as I found them becoming inactive. I still do it. A much respected member of MS recently lost my respect as I found that the member rarely rates others reviews. My trust list is a place only for people who visit the site regularly, contribute in terms of reviews, ratings and comments. I necessarily need not agree with their views, in fact I may not agree with them at all. But I need to know that they are alive, they have a thought process and that they believe in what they say or do.

Today I follow a simple dictum; a member needs to touch a chord in me to find a way into my trust circle. When a couple reviews from a member arouse my thoughts, I put that member on my alert list. I also follow his/her activities on MS, I ask these questions, is the member participatory, honest (in my view) most importantly is the member contributing anything to my quest for knowing things. There have been times when I have added a member to my list, who has just added me to their list, though it is pertinent to mention that I do not believe in the theory “trust me I will trust you too”.

I would be lying if I said that it does not matter to me if people trust me. It does matter. I love recognition,it pampers my ego. I would love to see more and more people trusting me. But then it should be for what I write and how useful I am to them through this site.

I keep the list of people whom I trust undisclosed, because in my view “trust” is a very personal emotion. If I had my way, I would have kept the “trusted by” section also undisclosed but MS does not allow it.

Coming to distrust list, well I have not used it as yet, I don’t think I will use it either. I strongly believe that the policing of this site is the responsibility of the people who run it. Yes, as members we can always make known to the authorities, any case, where we notice that a member is not being proper; if we are harassed by any other member or incase we feel that a member is not genuine. It is the job of MS authorities to take erring members to task, why leave it upon members to sling mud at each other. I am saying this because I have seen genuine members being harassed by using this distrust list as a tool. People who have rarely written a review or rarely seen on the site have added some very eminent members on their distrust list. I just can not understand what MS has tried to achieve by having this section on the members profile.

Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none.

• William Shakespeare

PS: as usual comments and interaction are welcome.