::: Sasti :::. Review on Masti

Sasti

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Good question. Why the (profanities deleted) did I see Masti? Well, let me admit it. Clinging to me were not one, but two gorgeous damsels. Righto sir, I had heard that a guy would be uncomfortable if he sees the flick with a girl, which is why I took two along.

It all began with a phone call. I was screaming myself hoarse as India conquered Pakistan (in cricketing terms, silly) and my cell phone rang. And oh yes, for those who have read my review on my Nokia 3530, let me elaborate that the vibrator began in my jeans.

She: Mastiiiiiiii ...

Me: Ya, we won after all!

She: No yaar, let's go for Masti.

Me: Well, your boyfriend will be along I suppose, why don't you go ahead with him?

She: He's not coming. A girl from my college is, though ...

Me: You mean double dhamaka ?! I'm game!

She: I want you to reach Fun Republic to watch Masti at 3.30 sharp.

Me: Uhh, blunt chalega? Not yet worn my lenses ...

I kept reminding the rickshaw driver that he must take inspiration from Micheal Schumacher. The fellow was so slow and along the way, I encountered a eunuch. Little did I know that he/she was the star attraction of Masti.

Masti deals with three pals - Vivek Oberoi, Ritesh Deshmukh and Aftab Shivdasani. Maritial distress of being confined to one eatable (that's what they refer to their wives as) forces the merry trio to get a touch merrier. Enter temptress Lara Dutta who dances on the roof, in the rain (as the ludicrous lyrics go) with Vivek. Ajay Devgan plays a cop who would beat Jackie Shroff's portrayal of Chunnilal in Devdas hands down. Surprisingly, he does not utter ''M se Masti, M se Mental Torture.''

Although the promoters of the flick have spared no efforts in bragging that Masti is the first sex comedy in Bollywood, let me remind you that it isn't. Remember a flick called 'Yeh Kya Ho Raha Hai!' ? Well, I don't blame you if you don't. That film had lived up to its title and everyone who had seen the flick (which could be roughly a hundred people in all) were left wondering - ''yeh kya ho raha hai?'' As I quote my favourite Sidhuism, ''Masti is not as bad. It's worse.''

A gamut of expectations comes crashing down, especially after the hype and hoopla surrounding the movie. Vivek Oberoi and Ajay Devgan's sheer class and two other actors who have proved that they have a decent sense of comic timing, along with a mindless, yet amusing concept are wasted by the captain of the ship.

Ah, he is my favourite! This fellow makes my 400 W television sound like a 400000 W one. Indra Kumar's previous directorial ventures may have struck at the turnstiles, but I simply hate the loud and melodramatic fare he always dishes out. In fact, I believe that his only sensible flick was the one which was the least successful - Mann. In Masti, a potential ripper has been reduced to the following.

Scene 1: Chick in a bikini. Aftab cracks the SMS joke I received last month

Scene 2: Ritesh and Aftab fondle each other. Vivek cracks the SMS joke I received two months ago.

Scene 3: Chick in a bikini. It's Ritesh's turn now.

Scene 4: Ritesh and Aftab fondle each other. HELP ME!

To give credit where it's due, there are a few funny sequences in the film. The escapades of the trio prior to meeting Lara are hilarious, albeit loud. So is the scene wherein the trio are stuck on a balcony ledge. The phone call for 'Reshma Ki Jawani' will have you rollicking with laughter and so will the scene wherein Ritesh goofs up and ends up buying tickets for a soft porn flick.

Oh yes, you also laugh your guts out at the unintentional comedy the poor acting dishes out.

The music competes with the acting for 'Who can be the loudest?' The only consolations are the loud-but-entertaining title song and the churlish, yet hot 'On the roof, in the rain' (What next? In the basement, in the drain?)

Amrita Rao looks cute and acts decently. Genelia D'Souza has one dialogue in the entire film. Er, no, perhaps I caught two. Tara Sharma has replaced (tr)Ash as my 'love to hate and hate to love' heroine, as she mimics Sonia Gandhi's Italian-cum-Hindi-cum-I don't care what accent to the core. If her voice was intentionally dubbed thus, I am sorry, Mr. Kumar. I didn't find it amusing.

Lara Dutta looks hot. And she looks hot. Oh yes, she also looks hot. Hell, doesn't she look hot! Kindly note that I am avoiding commenting on her acting (?) abilities.

Satish Shah is hilarious at an amusing albeit overdone gig. The poor chap suspected Ritesh and Aftab of being gay. I don't blame him.

Archana Puran Singh is Bollywood's answer to The Exorcist. Never has she looked so scary and the piece de resistance is when she flexes her triceps (!) on the roof of her building ... God save me.

Aftab Shivdasani is decent. Yet, if you compare this film with his previous comic performance in 'Love Ke Liye Kuch Bhi Karega', this one is a disappointment. Also, the fact that he shares a better chemistry with poor Ritesh rather than any of the female leads is, well, scary ...

Ritesh Deshmukh plays the proverbial 'phatoo'. He does a great job of it, which I guess was natural since his mother-in-law was Archana Puran Singh.

Ajay Devgan is criminally wasted. I don't know whether he was trying to be intimidating, witty or plain stupid.

Vivek Oberoi lends some sanity to the flick. Although other reviews haven't been benevolent in their praises for Oberoi Jr., I preferred his more somber one-liners and subtle comic timing, in comparison to the others screaming their lungs out in the name of humour. Oh yes, his Ramiz Raja (!) hairdo is a riot as well.

All in all, Masti remains a wasted concept which is potentially hazardous to your ear-drums. The inadequate acting by the cast (except Vivek and Ritesh) adds to the misery. Most of the jokes are the common ones we receive as forwards and certainly not subtle enough to be enjoyed along with elders. I have no problems with sexual innuendos, but isn't there a word called subtlety? (a point where Jhankaar Beats scored.)

Incredibly sexist, Masti, in one word, is verysasti ...

And if I haven't convinced you as yet, let me remind you of the piece de resistance – a eunuch, who has the two most important scenes in the film.

What next? Karan Johar ?!

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Alright, I can see from the 9 reviews so far that you fellows have loved it. Just too loud for my taste. It doesn't help when I have heard all the jokes in the movie a thousand times. Comments awaited ...