Did anyone actually LIKE it?. Review on Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon

PRELUDE:

Just when you thought Hindi movies couldn't get any worse, a prize like Main Prem Ki Deewani Hoon is released.

(Note: It took me several sittings to finish it.)

INTRODUCTORY RANT:

I have to admit that I did not go into this movie expecting a whole lot - with a director known for mushy, cheezy dialog and over-the-top ''family drama'', I could hardly expect a hard-hitting, realistic commentary but cheezy as they were, HAHK and MPK did entertain (though I doubt these movies would achieve nearly the same success now as they did at the time). Needless to say MPKDH, far from entertaining, is an excercise in murderous self-restraint.

STORY:

Sanjana just graduates from college - so obviously it's time she weds!

Her sister has found her an eligible (aka. top businessman of pardes) bachelor in the form of Prem so Sanjana's very loud and annoying mother brow-beats her into receiving him and does everything short of dumping her daughter into Prem's lap to bring the two together.

Prem turns out to be charming (apparently in this fantasy world of skimpy clothes and low-income mansions ''charming'' is equated with loud and obnoxious - a lot of people in this movie are ''charming'') and Sanjana eventually falls in love with him.

Now here's the (ahem) ''twist'': the Prem that they have welcomed into their home is not, in fact, the Prem Sanjana's sister had intended to set her up with, but Prem his employee. So of course, Sanjana's dramatic mother has a fit and declares to her daughter that she must sort of switch over her affections - they both have the same name - how hard could it be!

Of course I won't waste your time with the ending - if you can't figure it out, you haven't seen any Hindi fillums.

ACTING:

Hrithik Roshan (Prem I): It's exhausting to WATCH Hrithik on the screen - he jumps and shouts and contorts his face in painful-looking ways. I wonder if he felt at all embarrassed when he saw himself in this movie because I felt more than enough embarrassment for him. I think he's done too many movies with Kareena - she's clearly starting to rub off on him.

Kareena Kapoor (Sanjana): I have a hard time understanding how an individual (I refuse to say actress) with no hits and no acting talent - in fact with nothing to her credit but her lineage, continues to receive movie roles. True to her history, Kareena is shrill, over-dramatic and plain awful. But somehow, almost like drinking the worst-tasting medicine - even though you KNOW it will be disgusting and barely digestible, it somehow hits you every time. Anyways, I could fill volumes with how terrible Kareena is, so I'll just leave it at this: Kareena plays the same role of Poo (shudder) from K3G for the 100th time.

Abhishek Bacchhan (Prem II): If Abhishek continues to do movies with Kareena and Hrithik, he will receive acting credit. Abhishek needs barely change expression (nor does he) or even talk very much (ditto) but his silence is much-needed respite after the excessive drama and loudness of everyone else. Nothing much to say about him because he doesn't really do a lot.

Others: Everyone is pretty annoying - at this stage rather than who overacts and who doesn't, it's more like to over-acts MORE than others.

Sanjana's friends make me cringe with embarrassment for them... when they're on the screen it's time for a bathroom break - those little rhymes and love ''tests'' were enough to make me lose my lunch.

The same can be said about Sanjana's mother - she missed her calling as a soap star.

Sanjana's father is a very welcome change - he's the only person (other than Abhishek) who you can take your ear-plugs out for - he doesn't yell - in this movie that's something to celebrate!

DIRECTION:

God-Awful! I think he needs to retire.

OTHER:

Ok, what's the deal with the animated parrot and dog? Was that really necessary? If so, then how about getting a decent animator instead of lifting the animator from Bugs Bunny?

I'm all for experimentation - in this story-starved industry we clearly need it - but this was an experimental disaster.

CONCLUDING RANT:

I don't know any Kareena fans under 12 but if you are one such rare beast, you can clearly stand people embarrassing themselves without squirming so I certainly recommend this movie to you. However if you are someone who may not enjoy talentless actors wearing next to nothing and yelling at each other as some form of bizarre entertainment (entrance to the zoo is cheaper) - then I do not recommend this movie to you.

I watched this movie for 25 cents at a movie rental and frankly I'd like a refund!