Main double standards ki diwani hoon. Review on Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon

Oh God, why? why.... why did I choose to see this movie despite all the warnings that came my way? Actually I wanted to see the extent of Mr Barjatya's removed sensibilities... he seems to not understand that we are in fact living in the 21st century, and we like to call ourselves modern, atleast in our thinking..

Don't get me wrong.. I'm absolutely for making movies that highlight the true sense of culture and the Indian way of life.. and celebrating it for its simplicity and grace.. I loved 3 deewarein and I loved Juhi's character even at her deglamorized best.. and that is in fact the way I see my mother, or sister, or the woman who lives across the street.. because the modern Indian woman may not be ultra- modern in the way she dresses, but she is modern in her thinking.

But Barjatya takes us through a world that is repulsive, to say the least. His characters lack any sense of maturity, intelligence or grace. Kareena is ofcourse, skimpily clad throughout the movie, but ofcourse, she blushes uncontrollably when Hrithik expresses his desire, to God forbid, kiss her.. Oh, God, to think of his nerve.. And ofcourse, Kareena's mother proudly watches her half naked daughter singing to the seemingly innocent, but vulgar tune, ''Papa ki pari hoon main'', but expects her to be Indian and serve tea to her guests.. Someone might want to introduce logic to Barjatya.. because he obviously has no idea of what the word means.

My mind is blank... blank and tired and agitated... and rightly so after being tortured endlessly with God-knows-how-many hours of the annoying parrot, Switzernagar, and hours and hours of Kareena's screeching, Hrithik's sick gestures and God knows what else.. OK, here are the top five reasons why you should not watch Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon, unless ofcourse you're like me, and want to be amused by Sooraj Barjatya's cluelessness when it comes to the modern face of India.

Technicalities: So, about 10 minutes into the movie, I was ready to strangle the parrot, and shoot the dog to put it out of its misery. My Barjatya seems to think the the audience is dumb enough to accept an animated cartoon( a poor one, at that) that yaps like there's-no-tomorrow as one of the lead supports of the film.. The parrot again seems to be directly lifted from Jafar's witty companion bird in Aladdin. And ofcourse, let's not underestimate the true talents of this wonderful bird.. Friends.. this is no ordinary parrot.. Just as it can fly along the sea coast, it can also fly to the top of snow capped mountains. I seem to have been under the misconception that parrots only inhabit tropical regions.. but Mr Barjatya enlightened me by introducing this special parrot to us.. And ofcourse, let's not forget the scenic beauty of Switzernagar.. and rightly named Sundernagar too..We should all really thank the Rajashri's for introducing this wonderful city to us.. That's where I'm taking my next vacation! Come on! Reality check.. please! Why can't producers accept our country the way it is. From someone who has loves to travel, there are many many breathtakingly beautiful places in India, so please, let's not be insulted like this..

Characters:I think you guys might have a clue as to what I'm alluding to, mostly because I've ranted all about it from the beginning of the review. Our producers and directors seem to think that outfits, dialogues, songs and locales loosely ties with a story, or something like it, makes a movie..but they seem to forget that what make or break a movie are characters.. because we need to feel for them.. Given that Kuch Kuch Hota was nothing close to a great movie, but it still made me feel for Kajol. Whether it was the magic of Kajol's performance or her character.. it still made me empathize with her.. Unfortunately, MPKDH's characters are so far from reality, that all we can do is watch them from a distance, and laugh at them, and the ridiculous situations they land themselves into. Barjatya infuses modern-day aliens from Pluto with a dose of Indian culture, and tadaa... you're left with a wonderful saga of Indian values and culture.. LOL Sanjana, from the very beginning comes across as a rich and arrogant girl, but she miraculously transforms and falls in love with Prem.. God knows how? Hrithik's Prem is a walking dodo, a young confused child... trapped in the body of a good looking man with a strong physique. Abhishek's Prem.. lacks any sense whatsoever. Ofcourse, our man is such a successful businessman that he has no social skills whatsoever.. I always thought that businessmen need to be social and good speakers.. but what do I know about the ways of the world... right? And oh.. poor guy doesn;t even know how to ride a bicycle.. chi chi.. All he can do is get horny when a scary looking Kareena dances to the ill-tuned 'Bani Bani'.

Music: Anu Malik comes up with his career worst film to date.. Every tune has been recycled from other B grade tunes he's churned out to date.. Usually music is one redeeming factor in Rajashri movies.. but Anu Malik is successful in breaking that record too. Bani Bani and O Ajnabee are the lesser of the other evils. 'Papa ki Pari' is definitely the worst of the pick though... and scary to watch too..

Performances:All the performances in this movie are BAD.. and there are no two opinions on that. I tend to be more sympathetic with Hrithik's performance. Even though he hams and hams and I wanted to strangle him at one point, I still think that he gives a sincere performance.. There's only that much an actor can do when confronted with a deranged director like Sooraj Barjatya. Ditto for Abhishek. He underplays his character well, and thanks to him, we're saved from hearing more rubbish from his nonsensical character. Kareena, however definitely comes up with her worst performace to date. She seems to think that acting consists of making contorted facial gestures and annoying screechy voices, but sorry to disappoint you honey.. you're mistaken. There are actors that make you enjoy a movie despite a bad script. I did not think Hum Aapke Hain Koun was a good movie, but I could still probably watch it a second time, just to see Madhuri's performance in it. Kareena, being offered the lead character could have easily made the film watchable, but sadly, she does not posses the talent, or mesmerizing beauty that Madhuri has, as much as she'd like to think otherwise.

So now I'm wondering why I spent the past one hour dedicating my time to the worst movie I have seen in a long long time.. Ok.. while I ponder over that.. I hope you enjoyed the review.. I'd love to hear what you thought about it.