Reassurances..... Review on Main Hoon Na - Bollywood

?I?m there no!? that was my colleague and close friend Venkat with that distinct tang typical of his South Indian accent. He was trying to assuage my fears about being dragged to a Shahrukh movie.

I was terrified ? after the nightmarish experiences of K3G & KHNH (add to that the torture I had to undergo when I had to perforce watch ?Koyla? on one of those video bus coaches), I had sworn myself off SRK movies. But peer pressure was mounting and my office staff had decided to book enmass for a Saturday afternoon show.

I kept thinking hard of trying to find some excuse, maybe feign illness or some social appointment, to avoid going for the show, when I bumped into none other than Farah Khan, the choreographer cum director of the film. ?Hi Ravi, have you watched my movie? You must ? it?s my first directorial venture and people say it?s the best movie running in town. I?ve tried to include all the masala in the film, while also paying tribute to past classics like Sholay, KKHK, Chandni, Matrix, Masoom.

If you are an ardent Bollywood fan, you are bound to spot these not-so-subtle references interspersed within the film. It has an India-Pak friendship theme, a college campus background, an Archie-Betty-Veronica-Dilton like characters, some very modern tongue-in-cheek comedy (a la DCH) and much more. And since it?s my own movie, I?ve given the choreography that special touch. Although the college campus songs and the prom night dance are trite, the title song and the romantic number ?tumhe jo maine dekha? have been beautifully choreographed, if I may say so myself. Please do not miss this movie, Trust me?. Main Hoon na!?

Exit Farah and strangely enough, I saw virtually the entire crew of the movie queuing up to talk to me. First was Kabir Bedi, looking dashing in a beard, trying to look like a Sardar: ? I know you don?t find my acting talents great, but I have a small role in this movie. I play the Chief of Army who is making plans to release Pakistani prisoners on Independence day, as a token of friendship. There is a lot of opposition to this idea particularly from an army rebel called Raghavan (Sunil Shetty) who I fear will harm my estranged daughter, Sanjana who studies in a school in Darjeeling. My presence is only to give the character of Army Chief a kind of command which only I can bring in. Now don?t smirk. Don?t worry; I do not have too many scenes here. Main jyaada nahi hoon na!

Sunil Shetty with his new look of shaven chest and grey contact lenses looked quite menacing. ?This is the first time I play a full fledged villain. Raghavan is staunchly opposed to the idea of friendship with Pakistan because his son was killed by Kashmir terrorists. He has built up a private army to further this cause. He has sworn to stop the Army Chief from carrying out his plan by kidnapping his daughter. People have praised my performance in this film. This will be the beginning of my career as a full time villain. So just watch it for me?main villain hoon na!

Next came Nasseruddin Shah and said,? I have a small role but manage to make my mark, although you may not find my death scene too convincing. I play the role of a senior Army officer who is killed while trying to protect the life of Kabir Bedi. On his deathbed, he calls his son, Major Ram Prasad Sharma (Shahrukh) and tells him that he is his illegitimate son whom he had brought home after the death of his mother, In the bargain, his legitimate wife (Kiron Kher) had left him along with his toddler son. He tells him to trace his step mother and brother and only then consecrate his ashes.?

Amrita Rao, a simple nubile lass whom I had liked in Ishq Vishk, was having a great run in her career. With a cute smile, she said, ?I?ve got a nice and important role in this movie. I play the role of Sanju (Sanjana), the daughter of Kabir Bedi who is the Chief of Indian Army. Sanju rebels against her father and is studying in the school at Darjeeling. My scenes with Zayed are quite good and I fit the role quite well. I?m sure you?ll like seeing me in this movie ? do watch it, Main hoon na!

Zayed Khan came in next. ?I?m Lucky. I mean I play the character Lucky, aka Lakshman, the son of Kirron Kher and Naseeruddin Shah. But mom and I have stayed apart from dad for a long time since dad brought home his illegitimate son to stay with us (like he had done earlier in Masoom). I play the cool guy in school with the hots for the local bimbette, Rakhi Sawant (wearing the microest of minis) while coolly ignoring the attentions of Sanju who is tomboyish. It is only after she reforms and starts wearing sarees (like in KKHH) that I start taking notice.

My look in the film is also interesting, I play a kewl kid sporting long tresses in the first part, who gets reformed to a goody goody beta in the second half, symbolized by the decent haircut. My half brother is Shahrukh who is a major in the army and joins the school incognito to protect the daughter of the Army Chief. Even if you hated me in ?Chura Liya??, I?m sure you?ll find a marked improvement in my work here. Of course, I?m in much better company?.heheheh! I don?t really know if I will be able to replicate such a performance in future ventures, so please go and watch?Main Hoon Na?

Annu Malik, the music director, kept clicking his fingers while humming a song from the film : ?Have you heard the title song? You know, I composed it in 2 minutes flat. Actually Farah was wondering if a title song could be made or not, but when you have Annu, worry not. Everyone has been praising my work here. Apart from that, you will also like ?Tumhe jo maine dekha? which is a romantic number picturised beautifully on Shahrukh and Sushmita. Wow, they really look out of this world. Way to go, Farah! All the other songs are worth listening to atleast once. I?m sure you will love it, after all, Main Hoon Na?

Abbas Tyrewala, whom I became a fan of after Munnabhai: ?I too am here. So, what more needs to be said? Main Hoon Na! Heheheh!?

Bindu, knitting a sweater: ?Farah wanted to have a character in place of Archana Puran Singh in KKHH, so she asked me to play the Hindi teacher in school. I love young boys, but they all run away from me as soon as I enter. My pronunciation of English words is atrocious and that brings in a lot of humour. You will love my character, watch it? Main Hoon Na!?

Satish Shah: ?Kya yaar thum bhi! (thus spraying his spit shower all across my face) this is a must see. I play a Physics teacher who loves picking on his students. My main comedy stems from the fact that I tend to spray spit around while speaking. My students usually arm themselves with an assortment of shields like face masks and wiper goggles. Its really hilarious? has to be, whenever I?m around? Main Hoon Na!

continued in comments....sorry