Maggi Noodles & how it broke up my future marriage. Review on Maggi Vegetable Atta Noodles

I’m sure the F1 Grand Prix in Indianapolis must have left all the F1 fans highly irritable, hot-tempered and looney after we got to watch only 6 out of the 20 cars race on the track. Yeah blame it on Good ol’ Bernie Ecclestone or maybe Ferrari who objected to the insertion of the chicane but I doubt if it did your mood any good. It didn’t do much for mine. Anyhow…..I was completely distraught, more so because I had opted to stay and watch the race instead of going out with my friends for dinner. (Sorry Vish, I Vish I had come with you guys…..I’m now regretting it) So anyways…..it was me and meri tanhai left to cook something to force in my stomach but I didn’t feel like eating a lot after that race from hell. Anyways…… my gastro juices finally started bellowing at 2 a.m for some food, so I went down with an intention to stop my stomach growling for good.

So down I went and the first thing I did was put on Bombay Rockers . Then I looked in my larder to find something ready to eat. Hmm…..rummaging through I found Marie Biscuits and Pedigree Dog Biscuits, none of which I particulary liked although between the two I prefer the Pedigree. But then my dog would have been mad the next day, so I started opening up some dabbas. And lo’ behold, there is a four pack maggi, I wished it was a six-pack beer, but if only wishes were true…………………..i’d have put all the damn 20 cars on track!!! Anyways……I hadn’t made maggi before…..so I started reading the instructions on the back.

They were pretty easy or so I thought……..2 MINUTE MAGGI it Proclaimed on the front……so I though “yeah….awesome…..i’ll be off to sleep in 15 min max.” Anyways….i finished reading the instructions and started getting the stuff out. The first thing I noticed was that the noodles were like jam-packed together like a brick while those guys on television ate those mile-long-noodles. “Hmm….” I thought “maybe it becomes longer after I cook it”. So anyways….i got the maggi-cooking-utensil out which my sister had always used. Then I read the first instruction which said Add two cups of water. “Haah…..Easy” I thought…..but the cup size wasn’t mentioned. So I thought the bigger the cup size the better (Shut up guys….!!!.......this is a family website…..i think!!!)

So anyways…..i took a huge mug which HUTCH had given me and filled it up halfway to make it an average cup and drained it into the vessel. Then I again filled it up halfway and drained it into the vessel (Two cups…..remember?? And at 2 A.m…..my mind doesn’t function much) Then I checked my microwave but it had no Maggi switch on it. It had pizza, chicken, beef, rice, dish warmer…..blah blah, etc etc switches on it but no Maggi switch. So I sat down with my calculator and caculated 2 minuites in seconds, but then to my dismay I found out that I didn’t know how to manually enter the cooking time. I could only use the microwave if it had a specific switch for what I was cooking. So I cursed Kenstar and thought I’d try to cook it the traditional way……on the Gas burner

Suddenly then, my stomach did a turn on me. My hunger simply vanished, but knew it would surface back soon, so I had a gem of an idea. Cook only half a packet of maggi. I didn’t know if it was possible or not. So I smsed a friend of mine at 2.30 A.m (a girl….my guy friends cant even boil water…….i can do that though….in my geyser). “hey….you awake….if yes, what u doing? I need some help” I smsed. She replies back “yeah………..Mary Higgins Clark…….what??”. I didn’t know what that mean so I smsed back “you marry Higgins if you want………I just want to know if its possible to cook only half a packet of maggi”. “Yeah” she said “just do what you normally do and divide it by half”.

Well normally….what I did was that….i ATE maggi. But I didn’t want to tell her that I’ve never cooked maggi before….incase she was considering to marry me. So I smsed her back “don’t gimme mathematics at this hour…..just tell me what to do exactly.” I think she kinda guessed I hadn’t cooked maggi earlier but she didn’t say anything……she just replied “take half the amount of water you normally take, half the noodles and half the tastemaker”.

So I did……I took out a cup of water from the vessel because I had already put in 2 cups of water, cut that noodle brick into half and put one part of it back in the pack. Then I put the other part of it in the vessel and started heating it. Then I cut the tastemaker and spooned out half the powder into the vessel. But the vessel wouldn’t shut, so I pounded the noodle-brick into small pieces and shut the vessel. In short, I did everything my friend mentioned in her sms, which was to follow all the instructions behind the pack but after dividing each instruction by half.

Anyways…..i finished cooking it and sat down to eat the maggi. My dog awakened by the clanging and banging in the kitchen wandered downstairs groggily so I put some maggi on his plate. He sniffed at it, looked at me and ambled his way back up. Hmm…..maybe he wasn’t hungry I thought. So anyways….i closed my eyes like I was kissing a girl and took the first bite of my very own cooked maggi. It tasted Gross, absolutely Terrible!!!! And it completely destroyed my appetite. I couldn’t understand what had gone wrong……I had done exactly what my friend had said. So I smsed her back…..”hey….u awake??? If yes….reply!!”….but I didn’t get a reply……so I guess she she had dozed off or had run away to marry Higgins Clark whoever he was. Anyways…..i had to have something to hold off my hunger till another 5 hours before breakfast so after searching for 5 minuites fruitlessly (literally)…..i finally ate a couple of Marie Biscuits and a couple of Pedigree dog biscuits and went back up to sleep.

Next day…..i gave my my-friend-in-need-is-a-friend-indeed a call…..”hey…..what crap you talking…..i followed your instructions to the letter….and the maggi tasted absolutely horrible….“No way….” She said “what the hell did u do???”. So I said “well…..you said…..’do everything you normally do but after dividing it by half’, so I put in exactly half the noodles, then I added exactly half the water you put in normally….that is….only one cup instead of two……, then I added only half the tastemaker instead of the normal full pack.” “Yeah….thats perfect” she said .”i don’t know why it didn’t work out……..”

“Hey….hang on….let me finish” I said “and then I cooked it for one minute, that is exactly half of 2 minutes which you need to cook a normal pack……” Next thing I heard was a loud Crash and the phone got disconnected.

I don’t think she’ll ever ask me to marry her now….but look on the bright side…...the dog biscuits weren’t so bad!!!…….

RRC's please.....or i'll courier you some of the maggi I made