Movie: Love in Nepal
Cast:Sonu Nigam, Flora Saini et al.
Music:Nikhil-Vinay
Direction:Rajat Mukherjee.
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What binds the following (not physically of course):
Sonu Nigam
Karan Johar
Bappi Lahiri
Love in Nepal?
All of them are more than what they appear at first glance. And in their cases, it is definitely not ''MORE the merrier''.
A singer trying to pass off as an actor, A g..y trying to pass off as a g..y, A musician trying to pass off as a mobile jewellery shop and a farce trying to pass off as a movie.
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What is worse than watching ''Love in Nepal''?
Watching it in a theatre comprising of seven people in the balcony. All male.
This, after the computer refused to play the CD (started singing ''bardaasht nahi kar sakta'')
Bribing a friend (pizza hut, bill: Rs 250) to accompany me to the theatre
The AC switched off, as seven guys wouldn't generate that kind of body heat to warrant one
My friend wanting to know what is ''I love you'' in Kannada and repeating it loudly after me. This makes the two guys in front do a Kantabai. They were kannadigas. Woe betide!
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Why did I watch ''Love in Nepal?''
I wanted to beat crimemastergogo and premjit to it
I had a bad week and things could'nt get worse
Wanted to know how why anyone would want to seduce Sonu Nigam. Deeper motives were suspected in the storyline.
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The Story(?!) line:
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The (Miss) casting:
Sonu Nigam is Abby, the creative head of an ad-agency called 'Madness'. They should have called the movie that, but that's another story altogether.
Enter Fllora Saini in dresses that would give Celina Jaitley a run for her underwear.She is, what Sonu Nigam is not (he he.., she sheee..., did you get me :)). What I mean is, she is less adorned than him. What were you thinking?
Here onwards, the movie unfolds at various levels
The horrific tragedy of Fllora:
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For reasons which are more secret than why Sonu Nigam got the 'best dressed' (Bappida was next) award, he (he he) falls in love with Fl..Fl...Fllora Saini. Luckily, Ms. Saini is sayani too with brains bigger than her...well, and she resists such lesbianic advances till Nepal happens.
After reaching there for an ad-shoot, Ms Saini loses her brains, emotions, hemline et al. In the last part of this loss-affair, she succumbs to Sonu's advances.
''Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin yeh nahin ho sakta!!!''. That was me yelling; before bursting into sobs, imagining the future of Ms.Fllora pant(ie)s. Tragedies couldn't be more tragic.
The Mystery of the Missing Miss:
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If suspecting one lady wasn't enough meat to chew on, there comes another to seduce Abby. Abba jabba dabba!. At this point, things get curiouser as to why two women were after something so like them. Before I got into more amorous thoughts, this hawa(sic) female gets knocked off. That is, someone kills her (before you start saying ''You mean, Sonu did THAT?!''. )I am amazed at her luck.The dead body should now liven things up. And it does...
The Kancha-Kanchi thriller:
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In real life, two such stupid people would kill each other with their mutual moronicity. But, here, there's an equally funny third party out to get them. This made me go through the reviews at Mouthshut on 'Nepal' trying to figure out if Nepal had any adverse effects on one's sanity.
Also, my sympathy for the heroine got more intense. Saner girls would have run away from Sonu, not WITH him. I have always had a soft corner for dumb creatures both big and small.And this was a hard act to follow.
Interval: What interval?
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Since everyone was visiting the loo whenever the couple broke into a melodic passion-play, the theatre owner did away with the interval.
This way, everyone got to go home earlier. Wheeee...is this guy a management wizard or what?
The ROFL Climax:
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At this stage, one does not really care for the killer. Just wish that someone shot both the leads instead. But being the clever man that he is, the director turns the movie around by revealing the villain and the reason behind the black cells.
Now, everyone in the audience is breaking into uncontrolled laughter; not heard of since laughing gas was accidentally discovered. Although it was just the secret seven in the hallowed balcony, I could still hear '' Oh pleaaaaaaaaaase! Stop the fun! My stomach is aching!''.
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Moral of the story...
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Singers should stick to singing. Especially singers who make their wardrobe using discards from wifey throw-aways. And, whose expressions come from chewing bubble-gum in different ways.
Bimbos are required to look more at the casting and less at the casting couch. Cast matters in the industry. Unless you are a Ms. Kapur, Ms. Deol..., you will be singing ''Kaanta laga'' for the rest of your life.
Directors who work for Ram Gopal Verma must stick to his ghost-directed movies. Not make such ghastly ones.
The audience are requested to stop saying that, ''The 70s was a golden era''. Some producer, like this one, takes it very seriously.
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This movie is unintentional comedy at its best!
