Sep 05, 2005 03:58 PM
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(Updated Sep 05, 2005 03:58 PM)
why I believe marriage IS to be experienced... I couldnt find the right category to put in my experiences afta shaadi. so here I am.
loved the book tho! its just such an amazing way to look at it! wish I cud write like that!
enjoy anywayz!
Recently, there was a doomsday movie, Day After Tomorrow, which I found extremely boring and clichéd. Most men and some women, before they get bound in holy matrimony believe that life after marriage too is like a perennial doomsday, a conspiracy to take away all the freedom and happiness that they have ever had. A constant fear, of being caught in the blizzard of ever increasing responsibilities and tensions. The only acceptable part at the outset is the ‘license to copulate’ (James Bond had one without ever having to get married.) The Great Indian Suhaag Raat.
So, for all the people who are just waiting or being pushed to take the jump, heres the perspective of a year old marriage, 10months and 10 days if I sit to calculate it. I mean, I have seen things change drastically after the diapers and late nights routine, but the first couple of years, is an experience that HAS to be experienced. My perspective is just limited to that.
We got married on 25th Oct 2004, after knowing each other for 6 years. First 3 weeks went in a flurry of post shaadi functions, a gaggle of relatives to spend time with, the all-important honeymoon, till it was time to pack. I was moving to Bangalore from Mumbai, leaving everything I had known for so many years behind me… Yet I was excited because I was going to spend my life with the man I loved. What more could one ask for?
Lots my pals, lots! So, we reach our Home Sweet Home. That day we have food to eat because MILS (ma-in-law for the uninitiated) had given us lotsa parathas and subzi. My neighbours, two kids studying in IHM had taken the pains to clean our house completeltly, with our landlords help, put up new curtains, had fresh flowers, got mithai and the works. So it was sheer bliss…
Day 2, we don’t have a gas at home. My hubby has been cooking in this appliance called Electric Stove, which I refused to use. So, the hunt for gas connection begins. There is a shortage everywhere. The only way to get it is in good old-fashioned desi way, by bribing the corruptible gas agency guy, suggested by another agency. We do that and soon we have a cylinder and a gas stove. Mission I completed.
Now that we have a gas, I CANNOT avoid cooking. Excuses are all over. Meanwhile, we have done our share of bartan shopping also. The argument about the cooker size, which shop should we buy it from and should we take the free frying pan or the cash discount etc went on for a few days. We bought some plates, belan (rolling pin, isn’t it, and what is the base on which you belo the chapattis called, anyone?) And very lovingly we get our names written on each of them, Abha and Mayunk. We are happy…
Soon, my endeavours in the kitchen have started. Thankfully, Mayunk is not a fussy guy! And voila! I surprise myself and stun him by cooking fairly well. Soon, we are both coming home from work and then its “mission kitchen”. I am taking like 6mins/chapatti without adding the kneading dough time! Sigh! Our dinner is never ready before1030. But you know what, I am having fun.
Then, we discovered movies. In Mumbai, we hardly watched a movie in a coupla months theatre mein jaake. Shark Tales was the first one and then we got hooked. In the past 9months, we have watched 24 movies in the cinema halls across the city. Friday the movie releases, the following week on Monday or Tuesday, we have dinner and go for the last show at 945pm. What bliss, to be able to go anytime you want to go, anywhere you want to go!
Of course not all is rosy. We fight. We almost kill each other. I shed tears and he slams doors. We don’t talk to each other and we hurt each other by talking too much. We don’t have a bai, so we fight about who should do all the work.
But that gives us a chance to kiss and make up. You know you love each other when, one of you gets up in the morning, and the other one automatically stirs too. (And its not because you are a light sleeper). When your head finds the perfectly comfy place on your partner’s arm. When you start cooking one thing, but in all your laughter and masti you come across a new gastronomic delight or a complete nightmare and then you laugh some more! When on your whim, you can try the latest restaurant with weirdest of food and actually enjoy it! When your hubby, a self confessed shopping phobic, stays with you for 5 hrs in a sale and helps you find the right size while you are standing in the trial room. When he makes the perfect coffee for you and the days when he says you cook better than his mom!!!!
I have loved every moment of these past 10 months! I am down to 3mins/chapatti and now, we are done eating by 10pm.
I want to suggest shaadi to all of you out there! And call me ungrateful or whatever, but try and live the first year all by yourself… just the two of you… makes a lifetime of difference! (Unless you have pressing responsibilities)
Of course, be patient to come across the right person, because without that it can go horribly wrong. And yet, once we UNDERSTAND that NOBODY’s perfect, it is a life that you want to live.
Share your thoughts! It’s an Open House!
Ps: We don’t have a TV at home. Don’t plan to buy one till First anniv least! Hubby is counting days. But it has made life much better. See if you can manage it. Wont even miss after a few days! Have a computer at home, watch VCDs at home jab mood aajaye!
