Apr 30, 2001 08:21 PM
3915 Views
Just like the cattle truck delivers its load to the slaughter - on time, so do the Mumbai Local train's, they are on time..., but the journey is definitely not the destination !!!
My advice is - If you want an hour long steam, sauna & full body massage with some fragrant recycled air thrown in, all for the price of the ticket from Borivli to Churchgate; Just climb into the 8.41 fast leaving Borivli in the morning. And if that isnt enough, at the end of an extremely stressed out day, coping with your boss, the client, thier combined requests (all impossible), throw in a few moody colleagues (who you would strangle in a flash, were it not for the country's death sentence for murderers)and some inflexible suppliers, you gotta climb back into a similar sardine can where you try your best to keep your head as high as you can, so you can avoid all the amazing odours that Mumbai'ites seem to collect during the long day.
The entire procedure begins at the unholy hour of 7.30 when you have to wake up, dash to the loo, have an ultra quick shower, just pull on your pants, throw on a shirt, slip into your shoes and dash out to catch that cursed 8.41, you button your shirt and tie your laces on the way and manage to reach the station at 8.38, then begins the gladiatorial jostling for prime space near the spot where the first class compartment is gonna come to a halt. When you hear the hoot of the train , you know its time and you stiffen your muscles and get ready, the train whooshes to a halt and the intrepid few have already managed to dart in (they are the ones who manage to find sitting space), so you morosely look around, jostle (& get a few curses in return) and manage to get your own space (of course, if you are short, your nose is already digging into somebody's armpit)then the train starts moving and stops at every station till andheri. This is when another sea of humanity pours in, you gotta protect your kidneys & ribs here, if you arent, chances are you are gonna get poked. Once you are through andheri, the train stops at Bandra 10 minutes later. Meanwhile, the sauna and the massage are going on full speed ahead, the motion of the train adds impetus to the process, after it stops at Dadar, 8 mins later is when the steam kicks in, you would never believe that so many people could fit into such a small space. Finally , just when you thought it would never come, Mumbai central is here and people start leaving , you look fondly after your personal masseur , but he's gone. Until, finally you reach churchgate station , 2 stops later and have to cross the obstacle course of fish mongers, shoeshine boys and people going in the opposite direction.
By the way dont be fooled by the term 'fast' in the christeneing of some of the locals. The only difference between the fast & the slow trains is - the slow train stops at 6 more stations between andheri & churchgate. The speed of both trains is the same, because the fast train doesnt stop at these stations means that it reaches about 10-15 mins faster.
The difference between the second class & the first class is that you are smelling somebody with cologne on, in the first class. Rest is the same.
The monsoons are the worst time to travel by train, because they close the doors and windows, and you feel like you are on a nazi death train.
The only reason to travel by train is - It takes half an hour to andheri , from churchgate. By road, it would take you 80 Minutes. So if you are in a hurry (& in the mood for some spa treatment), hop onto the train.
