Lamhaa - Seems like an eternity !!. Review on Lamhaa

I went to this movie by mistake. The mistake of a sleepy friend trying to book tickets online for Udaan on a lazy Sunday morning. Imagine his shock when he gets an sms that he has to watch Lamhaa when he wanted to watch Udaan. It’s like receiving a Tata Nano, when you had asked for a Honda City. And imagine our shock when he calls us up to give us the news! Anyways, when all our attempts to sell off the tickets at the theater failed, we considered it a sign from god – we hoped it was a blessing. Well, if it was, then gods must really be crazy!

Though the MISTAKE forces me to say “Yaar, itni bhi buri nahi thi” I have to be truthful and say it was a pitiful bore. The tag line itself tells you that the movie takes itself too seriously “The untold story of Kashmir”. Even if they say its an untold story, everything seems familiar, because we have seen innumerable filmson India-Pakistan problems, and read countless articles on problems on Kashmir. The story seems totally outdated. Yes, there are a few genuinely new arguments, but then they are too few and far between.

So, tension is brewing in the valley and handy-man, super secret spy, one man brigade Sanjay Dutt is called upon to save the day. He has been there before and knows its ins and outs. His entry gives you a grim reminder of all the problems that occurred in Kashmir since 1947 and the major trouble in 1989! The Pakistani lead Separatist groups want to take revenge for 89 and want to open up old wounds. They want to make Jammu as unstable as Kashmir and show to the world - how they have suffered. Anupam Kher the leader of the separatist party is funded by Pakistan to make the region unstable and Bipasha Basu is the revolutionary daughter who doesn’t want her father “Kher” to succeed. The separatist are planning one major blast in Jammu during one particular political rally and Sanjay Dutt’s mission is to stop it.

There are a lot of problems about this movie. Firstly the story is, as I said earlier, not very intriguing. Then the treatment is extremely old fashioned. The protagonists keep making strong, impactful, jingoistic one-liners. The Jingoism is too much to take. Added to the fact that everyone seems to be giving a lecture, rather than delivering a dialogue. Soldiers in a bunker discuss the specifics of their salary and what sh#t they have to go through just for the camera. It doesn’t seem at all realistic. And for some reason the cinematographer seems to be inclined to give the audience a headache. The camera makes so many absurd movements that your visual sense is pulverized in just 10 minutes. They seem to be inspired by the way “The Hurt Locker” was shot, but there is something known as “Over Dose!” The visuals are extremely jarring. Then the editor seems to be in such a hurry to jump from one visual to another, that you cannot concentrate on the dialogues. The visuals run fast, but the story doesn’t. Songs are squeezed in at the most ill-opportuned time and do nothing more than prolong your misery.

Kunal Kapoor, who is given a major upcoming politicians role, is so pathetic that half the impactful dialogues are put to waste. A more seasoned and not so pretty looking hero would have made more sense and impact. Sanjay Dutt looks old, fat and haggard. He is made to walk around stupidly throughout the film and say some menacing / hard hitting dialogues. He is competent as ever, but then you have seen him do much better earlier. Bipasha Basu makes a sincere attempt to act in the film and I would say that this film would have benefited her the most.

So, I pray that you do not have to go to watch this film – even by mistake. Because it takes a lot for a film to put me to sleep and this one did(for 5 minutes!). Now, its not that I do not appreciate the effort put into this movie, its just that they have taken themselves too seriously. Rahul Dholakia, the director has allegedly put 45 crores at stake and is sure to get burnt, coz this Lamhaa seems like an eternity