Hassles between the Indian coach and the foreign film-maker finally results in the two playing a one-on-one cricket match, the winner of which will be considered true in his saying about the other. Johar winning will prove Chappell a manipulator; Greg’s victory will expose Karan as gay.
Rules of the game:
The match will be a Ten10 one.
The team will comprise of only one player in each.
The player is allowed to be out 2 times before he is actually declared out.
In typical Karan Johar fashion, one is to cry on getting out.
Amitabh Bachchan will referee the match.
How to play:
This game is to be played without a bat or a ball. Both the players are to present their views on Lagaan in as exciting a manner as possible. The one who fails to do so will be declared out, and the one mentioning some of the exciting scenes of the film will be considered a boundary. Performance, music and other aspects will be allotted two runs respectively. The one who correlates the movie with cricket will be given a six.
Toss:
Greg: I opt for Heads!
--- A tail appears ---
Karan: I would like to tell Greg about the movie’s storyline first!
It is a movie set in the 1893, basically deals with the historical character of Bhuvan (Aamir Khan) who is a commoner in the village of Champaner. As in any other village, the farmers toil hard to make their two ends meet. They need to pass on a part of their produce to the English reigning in the neighbouring territory. Last year, there was no rain. And this year, the God of rain hasn’t yet shown any signs of the mercury dropping and howwzzat..... (an appeal). Clouds are spotted!!
Decision: Clouds spotted but no rain. Wakat ke pehle ki khusi. Appeal rejected!
Karan: Anyways, then one fine day, when there isn’t adeqaute food to give to the British, the villagers appeal to the mukhiya (Kulbushan) to spare them from giving their produce to the Whites. On that, the head of the department of that place Captain Russell (Paul Blackthorne) challenges Bhuvan to beat them in a cricket match and then they would be exempt from the Lagaan for three long years. Lekin kahin woh haar gaya, then a triple-tax would be imposed on them. Bolo.. Sarat manjoor hai?
Decision: And that’s a boundary for Johar!
Karan: (smiles victoriously at Chappell) The main thing about the film that makes it stand apart is the fresh concept and the mind-boggling screenplay. Though a length of 4-hour, it has no moment when the viewer gets bored or restless. Initially the scenes when Bhuvan accepts the challenge and he gradually forms his team of eleven is shown in the most realistic fashion and keeps us on the tenterhooks. The track of the British woman Elizabeth (Rachel Shelly) is a case of irony. And then finally Paul comes to know of the help extended to them by his sister and the villagers are bowled!!!!
Decision: First finger raised!
Greg: Ha ha! Villagers ka shikaar kar liya hai maaine! Then those stupid persons start practising for the match, and comes the second half, which is the main highlight of the movie. Watching Bhuvan’s XI and Russell’s XI was so involving and entertaining that it was akin to watching my team’s XI play Australian XI.
Bachchan: Correlated with cricket sir! Declared a sixer!
Greg: (gives back Johar the smile favour) Now let me mention some of the interesting scenes of the movie. First, when Aamir accepts the bet is one exciting one. Then the scene when the Raja is forced to eat meat is another one. Also, when Gracy comes to Aamir to extend to him moral support is commendable. So is the one when Bhuvan admits an outcaste, Kachra, into the team. Friend, I can write a hundred of such scenes but let me get to cricket. During the match, both sides display some excellent cricket, but being a bit immature like Dada, the villagers make a lot of errors which put them on a backfoot, like everybody running after a ball, poor fielding (Dada again!) and a not-so-strong batting line-up, unlike my team!
Bachchan: Kya baat hai janaab, sixer paa gaye aap!
Greg: I’m the coach after all. Anyways then another twist which captivates the viewer is when a villager Lakha (Yashpal Sharma) betrays the team’s confidence in him, like Dada did to the Indian team.
Bachchan: Kya hai yeh baat, correlation kiye jaa rahe hai aap! Chakka.
Greg: Ya and Elizabeth informs the villagers about the odd man out, and then the Lakha is clean bowled!!!!
Decision: Out! Greg gone on 18; Karan back from 4!
Karan: Yea and then after the massive total posted by the British while batting first, the villagers had a mountain to climb just like India had after Pakistan posed up 679/7 in the first Test in Lahore. Then as again, in the one-dayers, Yuvraj and Dhoni on two occasions decided to go slow while chasing a huge total, Aamir and Raj Zutshi (Ismail) decide to go slow and build a platform for victory. Similarly, while chasing Greg’s target, I’ll go slow too.
Bachchan: Two correlations! A twelve to you!
Karan: Now coming to the performances, Aamir Khan not only got into the skin of the character to come up with a bravura performance, he involved the viewer to such an extent that people almost forgot that he is Aamir. Not-so-new Gracy Singh made a confident debut which remains as her sole big hit next to Munnabhai. Paul Blackthorne was apleasant change from the normal Tom Alter, and he left an indelible mark with his portrayal of the evil British. Rachel Shelly in her first Bolly outing seemed at ease while conversing in Hindi, besides giving a good account of herself.
Other of the starcast include stage actors, amonh whom the ones that stand out are Dayashankar Pandey [Goli], Yashpal Sharma [Lakha], Aditya Lakhia [Kachra], Pradeep Rawat [Deva] and Raghuveer Yadav [Bhura]. But given the genre of my films, I won’t cast any of them in my upcoming!
Technically a sound movie, the cinematography [Anil Mehta] is flawless. The locales of the village are captured on thecelluloid to perfection. Editing by Ballu Saluja won him many awards. Dialogues [Ashu, K.P. Saxena] are earthy and identifiable. Music by Mr. Rahman... Well is just exceptional. Period.
Bachchan: This is a breach of conduct. You are awarded 24 runs in total, and Greg now needs 11 to win.
Greg: Oh umpire, I’ll mention that the main highlight besides cricket were the introduction and the other speeches given by you in the movie, which were as interesting as that Sidhu’s commentaries. Ha ha.
Bachchan: Hmm... you get a 6 for yet another correlation, and another 6 for my mention. So you win the game by a run!
Karan: Mr. Bachchan not good. I gave you roles in my films and this is what I get in return? I’ll stop making films now on.
Greg: I told you there is nothing called friendship, didn’t I, boy? Don’t make films but you can surely enjoy with the Khan.. (sips tea from his cup)
© Aliasgar Poonawala, 2006
