I call it mine. Review on Lacto Calamine Skin Cream

''Hum Patna ke sadkon ko, Hema Malini ke gaal jaise chikna bana detha hoon!''

[I shall make Patna roads as smooth as Hema Malini's cheeks!]

- Laloo Prasad Yadav, some years ago and before shifting loyalties to Pooja Bhatt

Lacto-Calamine Lotion, the less hyped but more effective skin care system, has always been a main constituent of my beauty regime [Not that my regime has many constituents or even much beauty for that matter..:)] This is one lotion [please note that this is a LOTION and not a cream as the category reads] that has truly maintained standard with times and range of impressive properties to give you a good feeling skin and a clearer complexion. In fact, Lacto-Calamine Lotion (referred as LCL henceforth) is more medicinal/therapeutic in nature than a cosmetic agent.

Lacto-Calamine Lotion, complete complexion care. It reads thus on the bottle. It also says, Lacto-Calamine.. for soft, smoother skin and fairer complexion, cooling and soothing lotion and an ideal make-up base. But trust me, this is all and the only make-up you can do with, never having to bother about coats and layers of other creams, foundations and powders. It feels good and refreshing on application, and at the same time doesn't make you conscious about it. I don't care for its fairness deal, but I vouch for its anti-blemish properties. It sure helps in dimming the scars and marks. Some more good sides are reflected in below stories.

Story 1: Back home, whenever my dear brother lamented about his skin problems, presto! I handed him over the LCL.. and indeed, it helped him get rid of all those boils and rashes. Now his cheeks are as smooth as.. er.. Patna roads [He would kill me if I said Hema's cheeks..;) and hope Patna roads are better than Bangalore pot holes.. if not, am going to get killed again :)] with occasional speed breakers a.k.a pimples! And if ever you catch him singing ''Abhi tho mein jawan hoon..'' [''I'm still very young''] means another road bump has emerged and he's looking for that LCL. No, it doesn't have any anti-acne properties, but the soothing feeling and no scars deal make it the most sought after bottle.

Story 2: One of my college friends got bitten by the communist bug during our late teens. She dressed in those typical Khaadi Kurtas and rugged jeans, which went along with a long handled cotton bag [its called Buddhijeevi (intellectual) style and in guys, an additional unkempt stubble is the trademark] reading Kaarl Marx's ''Das Kapital'' [while my marks went to spending my capital wisely on Dasprakash's Masala Dosas ;)], shouting slogans against Capitalism before the Assembly House on hot sweaty sunny summer days. Well.. don't know if it had any effects on the system, but the major side effect [of communalism?] was sooty complexion and severe sun burns! So her doctor prescribed a particular ''Boots Company'' [Yes, it very much exists.. now it's called 'Boots Piramal':)] Calamine lotion for remedy, which sadly didn't exist in any of the drug stores in Bangalore then. And in such catastrophic times, I presented her a bottle of LCL to try on. And it's needless to say that LCL worked miracles.. and she won the Miss Universe contest within a fortnight! Ok..ok.. I got carried away.. but hope you got the message which is

LCL Lagao, Sun burns Bagao..[Apply LCL and chase away sun burns.. now they should pay me royalty for this Ad slogan nah?]

Note: It has no SPF contents and is NOT a Sunscreen lotion.. but is effective in treating the aftermaths only.

Before you assassinate me for such drag stories, I am saving my skin [with LCL of course ;)] by providing some more facts.

Lacto-Calamine is light pinkish in colour, non-greasy and pleasantly mild scented. Main ingredients are Zinc Oxide (as skin protectant and anti-microbial), Zinc Carbonate (am not really sure but I think its antacidic), Glycerin (as 'humectant' for moisturizing purpose), Light Kaoline (coagulative) and Castor oil (increased circulation and healing tissues) besides permitted colours, emulsifiers, preservatives and aqueous base. Manufactured by Lacto Cosmetics Pvt. Ltd., Vapi, Gujarat and marketed under Nicholas Piramal India Ltd., it comes in handy plastic containers of different sizes and priced at Rs.55/- for 120 ml.

So what are you waiting for? Do away with all those Fair & Lovelys and Afghan snows, which at the best make you feel only inferior about your colour and complexion. Go for LCL, and I bet you shall call it yours too. :)

''Don't have more than two children in one year''

- Laloo Prasad Yadav at a Family Planning Policy meet(Source: some joke site on the net)

[The above style of opening and closing reviews is inspired by Suyog's Dubya quotes..;)]