!@#$ KLPD Stuff !@#$. Review on Kya Dil Ne Kaha

I am not going to get into the storyline (or lack thereof), but instead, dwell on the finer points of this movie.

Firstly, props - Nikamma - good song, good picturization. The end.

Now we get into the details. Tusshar (yep thats how he spells it now) Kapoor and Esha (or is it Eesha) Deol star in this movie. You couldnt pick two people in a crowded local train who would look more ugly than this couple. The brothel madams in Kamathipura had to do a roll call to ensure one of their own hadnt run away to act in films. And angry residents in Ghatkopar were calling Film city to find out when their kachrawalla was going to return and pick up their rotting trash. There were awkward scenes all over Mumbai, I tell ya.

The good news is - at least they can act. Wait a minute. Thats not true either. Both of them can do one role and one role only - that of a lamp post. Throw a conical cloth structure over their heads and you have two very good floor lamps.

You want more details - ok, you got it. Lets start with Tusssshar. He has Johnny Levers skin tone, Jeevans smile and a potato's eyes. If I were Jeetender, I would be ordering a DNA test right about now. And what about Esha? Was trying to find a bit of Dharam or Hema in her. Still trying. And whats with that ugly scar on her forehead? Dharamji ko gussa bahut aata hai. Her eyes must be connected to some kind of spring - the way they keep rolling around in that head. Anyways, last I heard they have both been ensconced in the Ripleys Believe it or Not museum - under the sections "Can you believe these guys wanna be film stars" and "Can you guess the parents?".

Heres an idea for Bollywood - free. I promise I wont charge royalty for it. Start a new movie series - along the lines of Star Wars - called Star Kids. Or Untalented Ugly Star Kids. Put all these wannabes in it. Give 'em all a role. Of course, the strongest competition will be for role of Chewbacca - most of the guys fit the mould.

Well anyways, if you havent seen the movie yet, dont bother. If you have, my shrink is giving a group discount on regressive hypnotherapy, with which he claims he can purge the images of these two from my mind. You are welcome to join.

BTW, the last time Tussssssshar was spotted in public, he caused quite a commotion

'Monkey man' reports spread fear in Indian state

Reports of a 'monkey man' in India have reappeared a year after panic over the mystery creature hit the capital, Delhi.

The current reports are from the northern state of Bihar's Jehanabad, Rohatas, Ara and Patna districts.

The Dainik Ujala newspaper says several residents claim they've been bitten or scratched by a "black monkey with coloured lights flashing from its eyes."

Patna's superintendent of police O N Bhaskar is dismissing the reports, saying they are down to someone's overactive imagination.

Prabhakar Mishra, a priest at a Shiva temple, said: "It looks like Hanuman (the Hindu monkey god) is angry."

He added: "I have asked visitors to offer prayers to him seven times a day to protect themselves."

But Mr Bhaskar said: "There is no real evidence of any monkey being involved in the attacks. We will not hesitate to take tough action against people who are spreading baseless rumours"

Resident Pawan Kumar Niyogi who was sleeping on the terrace of his house claims he was attacked by "a 5ft-tall monkey-like animal."

He said: "I was terrified and thought my life was going to end but it merely scratched me on the shoulder before jumping off the roof."

People who normally sleep in the open are now staying in their homes while groups of residents carrying torches are keeping night-time vigils on the streets.

Doesnt Mukri have some kids who want to act?

In one of his interviews he had quoted, "I only compete with myself" Well, obviously dikhead.... in YOUR category, you are the only competitor.

Yaar sahi mein.... yeh sab chewtiyon ko dekh kay confidence badh jaataa hai... saala, apan bhi ek aadh movie nikaal hi saktay the !

Cheers all. Till the next time.