Nov 23, 2009 01:22 AM
3684 Views
To say that I'm not particularly fond of new age movies, especially big-banner, big-budget Bollywood ones, would be an understatement of sorts. I have too much faith in the (in)ability of directors/producers/actors of the day to even think of wasting a penny of me hard earned money on their movies.
But when the wife's taunts grew intolerable, I could not help murdering money. In cold blood too. But not without the satisfaction of an experiment. Thanks to Ajeetbhai who had instigated a debate on the usefulness of movie reviews, I undertook to conduct an experiment on the efficacy of movie reviews. It was a simple one really. I would watch a movie without reading the review, then write a review myself and later find out what the points of concurrences and divergences with other reviewers were. Fortunately for me Kurbaan was a good choice of sample as it was a big budget, "talented starcast" backed by the renowned metro-sheikh-shual Karan Johar (KJ), movie which was representative of the Bollywood universe in more ways than one. So here goes.
Storyline - Ahsan (Saif) is a Jihadi impersonating as a professor who cons Avantika (Kareena) into marrying him. The two of them then migrate to the US of A where they settle into an South-East Asian neighbourhood. Neighbours include Bhaijaan (Om Puri) and his Afghani wife (Kiron Kher). Dia Mirza and Nauheed Cyrusi have cameos as a mediaperson (covering the Afghani war) and wife of a terrorist, respectively. Riyaaz (Vivek Oberoi) chips in as Dia's colleague-cum-Boyfriend. The story then unfolds into a tale of identity crises, terrorism, Jihad, serial bombings and more. Isme Romance hai, Violence hai, Drama hai, suspense hai, terror hai, horror hai aur thoda humour bhi hai (khojne se kya nahin milta ?).
Now for the contributions. Most of the actors have done a reasonable job. Vivek is the pick of the lotfollowed probably by Kiron Kher and Saif. Kareena has excelled herself even if that doesnt count for much. She seems to be stuck onto zero, Size bhi zero hai aur acting bhi. Kiron Kher's Afghani accent & Vivek Oberoi's American one is something that seems to have come as an afterthought and could have been entirely dispensable. The Cinematography leaves a lot to be desired. It is often slipshod like the scene where Kareena is digging a bullet out of Saif. The bullet is out in a flash while Saif takes his own sweet time to let out his cries of pain as if he somehow remembered crying just in the nick of time.
The music by Salim Suleiman isnt much to write home about and although it isnt as bad as many others, there is hardly anything that you can find yourself humming next day. Shukran Allah, Ali Maula and Rasiya may be good by contemporary standards but fail to make a mark otherwise. Ironically, the best song of the movie, Kurbaan Hua was surprisingly "kurbaan hua" in the end while it could have been more opportune as the background score for say the scene when the Jihadis are embarking upon their "Holy Mission".
Now for the question – “If acting is reasonably good, why is the film not good ?” Well, the reasons are many. Firstly, the explanation of terrorism tendered by KJ is too simplistic. It might have worked had KJ chosen to sell tickets to his cinema to the villagers of India at Rs.10/apiece but to a more widely exposed Urbane junta buying tickets at Rs.200 apiece, its a non-starter. Its almost reminiscent of those American action movies where the villain openly or covertly, is always Russia. Secondly, a film sells on characters, which is something the moviemakers of the day need to be educated about. In a 2 hour 45 minute movie there is hardly a dialogue or a quirk of character that you can recall. The screenplay almost borders on being too mechanical. Thirdly the storyline is just too general. This is precisely one of the main pitfalls of choosing a topical subject. You have to do more justice to it as there are so many other similar movies. This is where Kurbaan movie turns very run-of-the-mill.
But there are some things that I must appreciate KJ for. The formula, for instance. Indian artists, a Pakistani/Afghanistani storyline in an American backdrop and subcontinental victims. It cant go wrong. It'll sell in India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, America and who knows, with a bit of luck, in the Gulf too. Now, can you get any market savvier ? I suspect, the next few days will help dispel quite a few things about the movieand probably even reviewers might like to moderate their rating. But by then the money would have been made and Kurbaan would have broken all previous Box Office records, something that every new movie seems to do with consummate ease. In fact if the moviemakers/theatre wallas are willing to listen, I'll give 'em another great money minting idea, that too free of cost. They could turn up the AC, convert the theatre into a cold storage and then rent blankets at Rs.500 apiece to make a killing. Needless to say Jackets/woolens from outside wont be allowed, by order management.
